Fear of paedophiles 'a tragedy'

[OneBlueSky]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5364256.stm

Baroness Williams said there was no reason to believe paedophilia had got worse in the past 20 years.

But fear of it was now damaging the trust between adults and children.

And people had stopped volunteering to work with young people for fear of being branded a paedophile, she told a party conference fringe meeting.

(snip)

She said it was a "tragedy" when a teacher is afraid to put their arm around a child who has grazed their knee in the playground for fear of being branded "a potential criminal".

- more . . .

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5364256.stm

[pooja]

1. Totally agree... it is sad how the big bad men on the hill have to

ruin things for the world.

[The2ndWheel]

2. Reminds me of the South Park episode

where all the parents sent the kids out of town because it was more likely that the children might be harmed by someone they knew and was close to them.

[Joanne98]

3. Personally, I don't think it has gotten worse in the last 20 years.

It is the nature of the stranger abductions that have gotten bizarre. The media of course is fueling the perception that it is worse than it used to be. But I don't think it is. If anything the molesters seem more desperate, taking more chances. That would seem to me that access to children is getting tougher.

[TahitiNut]

4. It sure put a pall on my community volunteer work.

As a single (divorced) male, I had to be ULTRA cautious working with high school kids. Coaching "Odyssey of the Mind" was one example. (I did this for a couple of years. No more.) It's an extra-curricular activity for creative kids ... an international competition in inventiveness. Thus, we had to have (co-ed) meetings and working sessions after school. Desptie having my own home and plenty of space, I COULDN'T have the kids meet there (without a chaperone) ... since, no matter what, there'd always be one who'd be the last to get picked up or leave for home. So, we met at the school after classes and before dinnertime. (That imposed an employment-related burden on me - something a married guy or any woman wouldn't have to bear.) That left us with no place to store the working materials and tools - facilities are notoriously slim. At the end of our meetings, I was in no position to give any of the kids a ride to their homes ... despite the request. That made me an ogre, of course.

It's an absolutely appalling monster lurking in the shadows. I love working with teen-agers. Hell, teaching high school math was enormously rewarding for me, early in my career ... but it wasn't something that paid enough for me to support myself. (I didn't major or minor in Education. Just Math for my undergrad.)

We're losing a LOT in our society due to this crap. There've got to be thousands of guys like me who just can't risk being falsely accused - effectively a verdict of guilty, no matter what one does.

[hlthe2b]

5. Seems like this is an opportune time to "partner" with, say...

a like-minded woman to work together with the kids?

[TahitiNut]

6. Again, why wouldn't she just volunteer on her own?

If someone was in the position to donate that much time, why waste it merely being a chaperon? (Single women just aren't looked at as potential pedophiles like single men are.) Why would I even need a chaperon? What happens when she has another obligation and can't make some meeting?

As it happens, I made sure I worked closely with a female teacher who, along with her husband, were good personal friends of mine. I used her classroom and made sure I arrived before she left for the day. While no "character reference" is ever a guarantee - and a poor defense in any event - I can't risk doing ANY volunteer work unless I have such a contact.

Pardon the comparison, but isn't that like saying a woman can't go out in public in Saudi Arabia without a male relative escorting her? I realize I'm making a comparison where the scale is hugely different, but the core issue remains.

[hlthe2b]

9. Not trying to open a hornet's nest... I agree it is depressing that

a single man or single woman, just might end up being wrongly accused or become suspect for their good deeds when working with children. I just think pairing up, might make sense in this day and age...

And, yes, my answer was more to the single male, since they are more likely to become suspect. Not, certainly that the female would be likely suspect. But, I guess my question to you, is why the woman in partnering with the guy, would only be acting the role of a chaperone? Seems like a true partnership in working with the kids, with equal responsibility and credit, should be the goal? :shrug:

OH, yes, btw... I personaly HAVE worked in Saudi Arabia and as a woman, had to be driven (actually didn't mind that so much!) and go to "family" restaurants or else be escorted, so to suggest I don't understand this issue, is a bit amusing, actually... I am afraid you just misunderstood what I was saying!

[TahitiNut]

13. I don't think I misunderstood.

I actually regarded your reply somewhat positively, incorporating the (light-hearted) suggestion that I "make lemonade" and seek the opportunity to enrich my life, if not by dating/mating then by the (very agreeable to me) teaming with a kindred soul of a convenient gender.

I use the Saudi comparison, not to pretend to instruct but to make reference to that ephemeral with which you might be familiar. I do this not to be argumentative ... but to "reason synergistically together."

I rarely regard such prospects as solely one thing or another. All glasses are both somewhat full and somewhat empty - neither exists without the other and no approach is without it's pitfalls and flip-sides.

In a sense, however, I am a "purist" in that I have a very strong preference for corrections instead of offsetting acts. In institutionalizing the 'partnering' I would be doing honor to a paranoia - the paranoia that ALL single men are deemed by default to be x% pedophile, where that "x%" is perceived probability magnified by reactive excess. It's a community tragedy that we become ruled by our fears and, in withholding my services and denying myself the psychic rewards, I actually participate in that tragedy.

[hlthe2b]

14. I understand and appreciate your point...

I share your frustrations with the current state of our society...

'Afraid I only have coping mechanisms and no answers...

[The2ndWheel]

7. So he gets with a woman

just to get closer to kids? Yeah, that'll go over well.

By the way, OM... :woohoo: That was great when I was in elementary school. Got me out of class. What did I get out of it? I got to go to Iowa for the national or world championship, or whatever it was called. Iowa! Didn't know it still existed. OM, not Iowa.

[TahitiNut]

8. It's a FASCINATING competition, imho.

The creativity and inventiveness of the high school kids I worked with was AWESOME. The real "trick" in coaching is to support and encourage ... and get out of the way. I developed some exercises in encouraging them to "think outside the box." It was also a good way to demonstrate ethics ... since they start out wanting 'hints' and 'suggestions' and all that, and I was adamant that they had FAR MORE creativity than an old guy like me. ;-) (Making it fun is something that comes almost natural to me ... so I used it.) In a way, it's almost like being a 'wise' playmate.

Coaching OM is all about "teaching them how to fish and not selling them fish." It's very important that a "Wizard of Oz" approach is both understood and implemented. The biggest 'lesson' the kids can get is "They had it all the time." For me, the biggest success was in the kids owning their work and wondering, towards the end, why I was even needed. (One or two always seem to "get it," though - and come up to me some time afterwards and thank me for helping them to discover their own abilities - having faith in them. That's a reward worth far, far more than gold.)

[hlthe2b]

10. See my # 9... I truly DON'T know what you thought I was saying..

I am perceiving an unpleasant insinuation from your post, but perhaps I am tending to misinterpret you as well... :shrug:

[The2ndWheel]

11. You said "partner" with

It's just your use of quotation that I found funny. You know, like we've lived in a "democracy" for over 200 years. That kind of thing.

[hlthe2b]

12. the quotes were merely to emphasize I wasn't meaning

to partner in the context of a romantic relationship.... I meant "partner" in the very LITERAL and platonic sense of the word.