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That, of course, being the ability to restore America to what it was before George Bush was installed.
I think there are really two Republican Parties. We'll call them the Party of Reagan and Bush, or PRB, and the Party of Eisenhower and Goldwater, or PEG. The PRB is running things now. They're into theocracy for America, runaway government spending, starting wars for no fucking reason and the death of the middle class. The PEG people are working on a new source of alternative energy: they're buying generators, taking the engines off, exhuming old-school small-government conservatives and screwing pulleys to their heads, on the theory that if someone's spinning in their grave that fast we may as well get some good out of it.
The PEG knows three things:
Thing One: the PRB people have to be removed. All of them. Thing Two: the PRB is full of surface moralists. Once you strip off the quarter-inch-thick shell of piety, you're left with nothing but a pervert. Thing Three: the PRB can't be removed at the present time. Bush is about five minutes from growing a bushy moustache and declaring himself Generalissimo, just like his hero Josef Stalin did. Once this happens, not even high-level Repukes are safe: Stalin was famous for murdering his top people if he smelled even the faintest hint of unfaithfulness.
During the 2000 recount debacle, Bush is famous for having said that things would be easier if the US was a dictatorship. Bush has no idea how right he was. Unfortunately for The Shrub, in a dictatorship it is easier to get rid of the loose cannons rolling around the deck. After Stalin died, a gentleman named Lavrentij Beriya, who was Stalin's security chief, attempted to take the government for himself. The rest of the high-ranking Sovs had Beriya and his inner circle arrested, taken to Lefortovo Prison, and executed. In America, we don't do this.
What we CAN do, and what the PEG people may in fact BE doing, is a bit of political judo. Here's how it works:
Really serious political junkies on both sides know the PRB contains a lot of people who...how can I put this delicately? There's no way to put it delicately. The PRB contains pederasts, pedophiles, homosexuals and sheep fuckers. Lots of them. Remember Neil Horsley, the guy who may currently be more famous for admitting on the Alan Colmes show that he lost his virginity to a farm animal than for posting the names of doctors who practiced women's healthcare on his website. And also keep in mind that Jeff Gannon, a homosexual prostitute whose day job was being a right-wing "journalist," slept in the Lincoln Bedroom on several occasions. This the PEG can exploit. Representative Foley was just the tip of the iceberg. As the election grows closer, expect more PRB perverts to be unmasked.
Things like Mark Foley's preying on underaged pages play into their hands. To get the PRB out of power, the PEG has to prove that enough PRB members were either (1) sexual deviants and therefore unelectable, or (2) enablers of sexual perversion and therefore unelectable, to put Congress into Democratic hands by at least ten seats in the House and three in the Senate.
The PEG knows the Democratic Party will impeach Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and Gonzalez, as well as Antonin Scalia. (So far as we know, Roberts and Alito haven't had enough time to commit an impeachable offense.) They further know that a Democratic Congress can stall all of Bush's initiatives, especially concerning war in Iran, until they get them out of there.
Here's a rough outline:
Step 1: unmask enough perverted PRB members, and tie guys like Hastert to them, to throw the election to the Democratic Party. Step 2: let the Democrats introduce enough damning evidence into the impeachment trials that no sane Republican would ever vote for acquittal. The BFEE goes away. Step 3: in 2008, the PEG will swiftboat any Republican who really did vote for acquittal during the primary season, and run their own slate of candidates. Their interest is not in eliminating the GOP from American politics, just the ones who destroyed it. Step 4: allow the Democrats to have the reigns of government during the era of hard choices. They fix the economy with a modicum of help from the sane Republicans. Step 5: At the same time, they'll do things like close the right-wing think tanks, get the war closed down, disappear Grover Norquist and Ralph Reed, and eliminate the influence of the rapturists. The intent is to reestablish a sane small-government party.
I think this is the only way they'll ever save the Republican Party. If they don't do it, the GOP will go the way of the Whigs or the Bull Moose.
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