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StellaBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:46 PM
Original message
Honest question to gay male DUers:
Are you attracted to 16 year olds?

I thought it wasn't unusual; there is a long history (Roman empire comes to mind once again) of older man-younger man relationships. And 16 year olds are biologically sexually mature (if not emotionally or mentally). It is a social taboo (and rightfully so, IMHO) that keeps older people from having sex with fertile, sexually interested teenagers.

There is also a HUGE difference between desiring 16 year olds and desiring 6 year olds. As I said, 16 year olds are sexually mature, in a purely physical sense. They can procreate.

I always thought it was just understood that most gay men were attracted to good looking young men.

This has NOTHING to do with pedophilia. Mark Foley may well be a bona fide pedophile; we just don't know yet. They may find thousands of pictures of small children on his hard drive - who knows?

I am not excusing his behavior - it is illegal, and clearly a case of sexual harassment, as these 16 year olds were subordinate (very much so) to a member of Congress!

But it's not really suprising to me.

Women of all ages are seen as spoils of the power play without so much as the bat of an eyelid.
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. Not in the least.
Honestly.

Oh, 16 year olds attracted me...when I was 13. But somehow as I aged so did my attractions.
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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
2. .
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. OK...that is FUNNY!
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
4. Why not ask ALL guys...
seems like many adult men are attracted to 16 year old girls... why limit it to homosexuals?
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. good pernt too.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. I'm not attracted to most women under 30
I was when I was younger.
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stevedeshazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #4
18. Okay, let's make something very clear here:
16 year-old girls are attractive.

There, I said it.

For the record, I'm 51, straight, and the father of two young adults.

The real question is, would you act on it?

No.

Why? It's immoral.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. Blech.
I'm 36, and teenage boys look like kids to me.

Subjective, it is.
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #4
22. What in Hell would I have to say to a 16 year old girl?
Shit, I'm only 4 years older than Deborah and we STILL don't get the same jokes sometimes.

I LIKE people my age in relationships. I always have.
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Virginia Dare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm a heterosexual woman...
and I admit, I've had impure thoughts about certain young men, but they are fleeting, and I would never act on them, why would gay men be any different?

:shrug:
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Behind the Aegis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:50 PM
Original message
Honest question...
Not to be contrary, but why not ask all DU'ers? I hardly think this is isolated to our community. In fact, certain laws have 'exception' clauses to their age of consent laws. Florida is one such state.
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TommyO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
8. Not even when I was sixteen!
As a forty-two year old gay man, I have no attraction to somebody who is sixteen, or even somebody in their twenties or even early thirties.
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
9. It's a legitimate question to ask straight women as well.
I'm 5 years older than my husband, after all.

Now, I can confidently say that when I was 15 and he was 10 I would not have been interested in him AT ALL.

But when I was 21 and he was 16???????

I have no way of knowing. I may have loved him and wanted him. When I fell in love with him when I was 28 and he was 23 my desire and need for him was the most desperate, wild emotion I have ever experienced.

These are tough questions.

And it keeps me from throwing the label "pedophile" around lightly.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. True, not just a question for homosexuals or for men...
should be for everyone.

Excellent points you've raised.
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WI_DEM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
10. a more honest question would be if any of us are attracted to 16 year olds
I mean I see a lovely 16 or 17 year old girl and I may say "Ah, I wish I were young again" but certainly don't act on it!
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tridim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #10
20. That's the key
IMO most 20 and 30-somethings are occasionally attracted to a sexually mature teenager, but THEY DON'T ACT ON IT because it's illegal. Attraction to other sexually mature individuals, even if underage is a biological certainty, it's encoded in our DNA and it's been that way for thousands of years. Some, like Foley act on it, but the vast majority refrain because they respect the law and they respect themselves and the teenager.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
11. I don't think the question should be put only to gays ...
... if your theory holds water, then 16 year-old "biologically sexually mature ... fertile, sexually interested teenagers" should be desired by gay AND straight men AND women, right?

My personal feeling is that people of a significantly older age - regardless of gender or sexual orientation - who pursue and sleep with significantly younger people do so because of their own
lack of self-esteem and their need to avoid rejection by their peers (ie, why would a straight man endure diss after diss from women his age that he meets at bars when he can snag a 16 year-old high school girl who thinks he walks on water because he's 'older' and 'more experienced'?)


:shrug:
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
12. honest question?
Honest questions:

Hey, muslim DUers, do you ever feel like flying planes into buildings?

Hey, black DUers, do you ever feel like smoking crack and going on drive-bys?

Hey, women DUers, do you ever feel like drowning your children in the bathtub?

Hey, male DUers, do you ever feel like slapping your wife around a little?

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William769 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
13. As a female are you attracted to 16 year old males?
:eyes:
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Virginia Dare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Sometimes, human nature and all...
but I would never act on it, that's the difference between a normal human being and a pedophile or sexual predator, or whatever you want to call them.
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Hoping4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
15. I'm not a gay male but I think the answer is rather obvious as it
would be if you asked straight men about the sexual atractiveness of 16 yr old females.

The relevent ethical issues are sexual harassment, and lewd behaviour unbecoming a Congressman. Legally it seems it is an offense to transmit obscene material across state lines.
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slamthecrank Donating Member (69 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
17. some definitions
From the wikipedia page on Pedophilia:

* Ephebophilia, also known as hebephilia, is the condition of being sexually attracted primarily or exclusively to adolescents. These terms are used in contrast with pedophilia; however pedophilia is sometimes used more broadly in the western world to describe both ephebophilia and attraction to younger children, that is, any person younger than the legal age of consent. Ephebophilia is a term of recent coinage, and does not have broad academic acceptance as constituting a paraphilia.

* Pederasty has historically been given sharply different meanings, sometimes referring to male homosexuality in general and sometimes specifically to homosexual male pedophilia. In academic usage the word has still a third meaning, referring specifically to the age-structured homosexuality practiced in classical Greece between older men and adolescents, and by extension to age-structured homosexuality in other cultures.

* Lolita syndrome is sometimes used to refer to attraction to adolescent females. The related word Lolicon refers to manga-style pornography depicting neotenous female children.

* Shotacon is manga-style pornography depicting neotenous male children.

* Nepiophilia, also called infantophilia, is the attraction to toddlers and infants (usually ages 0–3). Some researchers have suggested a distinction between pedophilia and nepiophilia, especially for same-sex pedophilia (see for example Bernard 1975, 1982; Lautmann 1994), as it is unusual for pedophiles to prefer toddlers. According to Howells 1981;<69> Bernard 1982;<60><70> McConaghy 1993;<71> Lautmann 1994,<72> male-oriented pedophilia more prevalently blends in with ephebophilia, while female-oriented pedophilia more prevalently blends in with nepiophilia.
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The2ndWheel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
21. As Marc Maron says
That's why there's a law.

In an evolutionary aspect, people needed to be sexually attractive/active at a relatively young age. That didn't evolve out of us. We artificially extended our life spans, and artificially attempt to control it. Doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, man or woman.
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
23. I'm not gay but the answer is yes re some 16 year old girls
However I am not a pervert so one cannot act or even dwell on the thought. We are not animals and as grown ups we have to control ourselves.
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bigscott Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. when I see a 16 year old boy
I see my son - he is handsome, athletic and a joy to be around - because he is a great KID. He is NOT mature enough to handle a teenage relationship yet (well, HE thinks he is). If a 52 year old man was putting the make on him I would kill the guy - let the KIDS be innocent (ok as innocent as they CAN be) a little longer.

It is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL and just fucking WRONG
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Finder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
24. I am not gay nor male but...
I think it is natural to be attracted to post-pubescent humans. Biology is biology regardless of law or society's religious/moral standards.

That said, attraction is one thing, acting out on those attractions is another matter.

The Foley matter is one of hypocrisy and potentially workplace sexual harrassment(in the case of the page who was made uncomfortable).

The gay bashing and pedophilia accusations are silly at this point.

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Parrcrow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-04-06 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
26. locking
This is inappropriate.

An attraction to youth is not a gay issue.
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