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Being A Pastor's Wife Can Really, Really Suck Sometimes!!!

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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:14 AM
Original message
Being A Pastor's Wife Can Really, Really Suck Sometimes!!!
And Karma can be a BITCH!!!



From http://wonkette.com/politics/ted-haggard/life-with-a-closetedgay-meth-addict-right-wing-preacher-is-kind-of-a-drag-212417.php">Wonkette-

Ted Haggard’s wife reveals that it’s challenging to be married to a Big Shot Evangelist. But her faith helped her through the tough times:

"God met me, spoke to me, and helped me as I sought Him. I learned to lean on Him and He so satisfied me that I felt increasingly free to love my husband and to participate with him in ministry and the life and calling God has given to us. I believe God delights in this type of relationship."

Yowza! No wonder Ted had to seek the pleasures of a male hooker from Denver! Gayle Haggard was being fucked by God!

From http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/pastors/1315204.html">Crosswalk-

"As the wife of a man involved in ministry, you sometimes may feel trapped by unrealistic expectations and overburdened by obligations. The constant demands on his time and yours–as well as the feeling that your life is always on display–can lead to discouragement and frustration.

But ministry life isn’t about enduring challenges, says author Gayle Haggard. It’s about embracing joy. After more than 20 years of working alongside husband Ted Haggard, she believes that women supporting their husbands in ministry truly can be free, happy and fulfilled as they recognize the value of their unique vocation."


Unrealistic expectations? Life on display? Discouragement and frustration? Honey, its just gotten started.

And life IS about enduring challenges. Maybe not the kind you're facing now, but then I'm not married to a gay, meth addicted evangelical preacher either.

So after supporting your husband's career for more than 20 years, I hope you're happy now. And don't think about all the lies and the people's lives of the people (gay) he's help to ruin with his hate. I know that you know -- he was just speakin for god.....

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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:16 AM
Response to Original message
1. I think she needs a slow backrub
:evilgrin: O8)
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Viva_La_Revolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:22 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Hey, he already has Mike's number
no problem setting up a 'massage' for her.


:rofl:

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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:24 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Is that the gay prostitute who told the truth?
If so, he made quite a personal scarifice -risking his freedom.
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Viva_La_Revolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:43 AM
Response to Reply #3
10. I agree
the feds will be after him now, :(
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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 03:02 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. Mike Jones
:patriot:
Thanks for your service!
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Erika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:25 AM
Response to Original message
4. How sad for her
Trying to find peace as a religious subservient to the male.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:30 AM
Response to Original message
5. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:37 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. LOL!!!
She probably didn't do it right....
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 08:21 AM
Response to Reply #7
23. She had the wrong plumbing. n/t
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Marr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:31 AM
Response to Original message
6. I really do feel bad for her if she didn't know about his other life.
Edited on Sat Nov-04-06 02:31 AM by Marr
Imagine what a blow that would be- for a person who's built their life around not just some religious ideal- but one person's embodiment of it in particular. I think it'd be worse than just having a spouse cheat on you. Talk about disillusionment.
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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:41 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. true -IF she didn't live rich from bashing others' rights
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:41 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. i have a hard time believeing that
doesn't the wife "always know"?
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Marr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:44 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. I wouldn't know- but some people have an amazing gift for
Edited on Sat Nov-04-06 02:46 AM by Marr
self-deception. I can only imagine that fundamentalists are particularly skilled in that area.
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Erika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 02:46 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. She probably didn't consider a male as competition
How sad for her and the kids.
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mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 06:53 AM
Response to Reply #6
16. But she did know about his grifting republican shilling lile...
fuck her. Uh...I don't mean that literally...who knows what diseases she may now have?
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #16
31. Ditto n/t
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 03:11 AM
Response to Original message
14. FWIW, that picture looks like it was taken about forty
pounds ago, maybe more. wonder if that has anything to do with his frequent deep tissue messages

I saw her on TV, in the car with him, today.
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Disturbed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 06:22 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. She met with God.
I would like to read a more detailed story about that meeting.
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Hubert Flottz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:22 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. Not her heavenly cod, her Earthly cod!
She may have met with the codpiece in chief?
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:06 AM
Response to Original message
17. My Sister-in-law has been a minister's wife for 51 years.
Edited on Sat Nov-04-06 07:07 AM by WinkyDink
NEVER has she indicated that life as such has been a "challenge", that she thought they were "on display", or that she thought their time was being infringed upon.
Now, as simply the wife of my BIL, well, maybe THAT'S been a challenge!
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Hav Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:19 AM
Response to Original message
18. .
I think it's ironic that God obviously led Haggard to this woman who has "Gay" in her name ;).
I bet he thought something like "That must be a sign..".
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Dob Bole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:44 AM
Response to Original message
20. It's been hard on my mother...
My father became a Christian, and subsequently a minister, when I was about 10. Economically, this was hard on my whole family, because both of my parents had to work two jobs, I started working when I was 11, and sometimes it was a miracle when we got to eat dinner. These are the types of evangelical ministers that you don't hear about. In 1994, my father was pastoring a church, working at a ceramics company, and spending all of his extra time helping flood victims around our church.

Public perception of how most preachers live is wrong. There are also lots of expectations placed on pastors' wives that are unrealistic; my mother simply refuses to abide by them.

DB
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ClintonTyree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 08:10 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. Guys like Haggard get all the ink...
while thousands of people like you and your folks, TRUE Christians, are doing all of the leg work and getting nothing but hard work and very small returns on your labor. I have no beef with REAL Christians like yourself and your family. It's the Mega-Church, Rolex wearing, Mercedes driving christians I have the problem with, AND their "flock".
I'm sure that if there is a god (something I'm not even close to being convinced of) he/she/it is smiling with joy at people like you and your family: people who have REALLY sacrificed and given their time and hearts to do His work. To the others, the Rolex wearing crowd, any REAL God wouldn't give them the time of day to set their Rolexes by.
It sounds as if you had a tough childhood, but it's made you a better person because of it. You have empathy for others and a sincere commitment to make the world a better place for all. Whatever brought you to this point in life was worth it.
Peace. :)
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Dob Bole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:16 AM
Response to Reply #22
24. Thanks...
I do end up thinking of many people as selfish or ungrateful, probably due to my life experiences...but it was all worth it. I disagree that we get very small returns on our labor though, because what we didn't get in money we got in satisfaction and a good night's sleep. And noone is beyond redemption...even scary right-wingers with Rolexes. Thanks for the encouragement.

P.S.: I'm thoroughly convinced that there is a God...and yet I can't help but love the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Go FSM!
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #20
28. I think mocking this man's wife is pretty cruel........
what crimes did this woman commit?

I don't know, I think people have enough private hurt and pain in their lives without others bringing attention to it.

She's not a celebrity, just trying to live her own life. Leave her alone, I say.
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. Darth_Kitten...
Gayle Haggard has lent credibility to the lie that homosexuals are condemned by god. She is no innocent here. The passages in the Old Testament portion of the bible, based upon my and many other's review, are no more credible than Jesus' walking on water or turning water into wine. As the basis of Judeo-Christian belief, the bible is fraught with specious text and inconsistencies, and it should be viewed more as a polemic or a series of myths and tales passed down through the ages, albeit with a sprinkling of truth.

Born-againers are constantly railing against gays. In their bible, Leviticus is the ONE and ONLY chapter, it seems. Gays have become an acceptable alternative for directed and overt prejudice that blacks once held. But overt prejudice against blacks is no longer PC. Enter the gays. Yet curiously, they overlook many other biblical passages that condemn other "sinful" behaviors. That is hypocrisy. While Haggard's wife may not have been the originator of his spiel (as far as we now know), she supported his beliefs and echoed them. I do feel compassion for their children who have been indoctrinated into these hateful beliefs, and I wonder how this will affect them. But adults who delude themselves, unquestioningly, into believing that religion is about condemning others -- and become enriched by this practice, earn nothing but my disdain.

"To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards out of men." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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DeSwiss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #20
29. Dob Bole, I can relate.
I too grew up a PK and we weren't rich either. I went to work at age 14. I worked a full-time job all through high school and college. No college funds, no trust funds. No Rolex. My father was the pastor of an evangelical church -- the Church of God. In Tennessee no less. Memories of the first half of my life come with Christian music in the background. So I know from whence you speak.

As the bible says, "and a child shall lead them," so it was me as the youngest sib who stepped up when my father grew old and sick. It was my family that took him in and he had nothing but what we could provide him. It was the same with my mother until the day she died. The church was of little help. And at the time my older sibs were otherwise involved -- not with him -- or the church. Now, it is I who doesn't subscribe to Christianity nor any other religious belief. But today I've got two sisters who are ordained ministers. One who even got her masters at Oral Roberts where Haggard went (sheesh). And my older brother is the senior deacon at his church. And the worm turns....

Now, none of them, nor anyone asks me anything about my beliefs. The few that have know me well enough not to ask anymore. I've spent over 40 years studying religion and philosophy and my understanding and views are decidedly different. My sibs don't want to hear about it. They've got religion now, as many suddenly do as they grow older. And except for pointing out the hypocrisies and obvious contradictions that I so often see (like the one above), that's about as far in acknowledging religious beliefs that I'm prepared to go. Good luck.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:46 AM
Response to Original message
21. Yah, it was sometimes hard for my MIL
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ecstatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
25. I hope her relationship with God is as strong as she states it is
And just to clarify, by relationship I mean--ability to pray and feel heard... The ability to pray and experience an inner peace and strength afterwards.

I'm sure she has absolutely nobody human to confide in right now. Not knowing her or her character, I feel the same compassion for her that I would for any other woman who has been cheated on, betrayed, and lied to. I can't begin to imagine the thoughts that must be going through her head. By now she's confronted her husband in several different ways and the explosion of lies coming out his mouth is now unbearable. She may not have known that she bore 5 kids to a pathological liar. All the "pretty" wasted on him, a man who may have never even appreciated it, and just used her as a smokescreen to further his fake ministry.
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:53 AM
Response to Original message
26. Why gloat over her pain?
:shrug:

What did SHE do wrong? I'm sorry, if the allegations against her husband are TRUE, what does that have to do with her?

Maybe gays shouldn't marry and drag their families into controversy? :shrug: Just sayin'
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NNN0LHI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. How do we know she is in pain?
She may have been tired of him for years for all any of us know.

Nonetheless when she get finished with him in divorce court Haggard will be the one in the real pain. And rightfully so.

Don
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #26
32. maybe people shouldn't be BIGOTED FUNDIES
JUST SAYING....:shrug: :shrug: :shrug:

despite what that stupid lady's husband did to hurt her she is still a bigoted fundie..

She gets what she deserves and I can't stop laughing...

good try though, blaming gays for this mess. typical crap for on here lately though..
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
27. I feel sorry for her but mostly for the kids.
PKs have a hard time normally, but his kids are going to really have a hard time with all of this. His wife has stood by him, as most would, but I'm sure she's deeply angry and hurt by all of this but has to put a smile on her face and let him put his arm around her.

I always felt sorry for the Christian Ed majors at our college, too, who were angling for a pastor husband. They were there to get their M.R.S. degree and really wanted to marry the religion majors and be pastor's wives. They didn't know what they were getting themselves into (constant monitoring by the "saints" of the church, poverty, constant temptation of their husbands, kids having a hard time with the public nature of their lives, etc.), and they were like lambs to the slaughter.
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-04-06 07:26 PM
Response to Original message
34. It was hard for my neighbor
Part of the package for him being a minister at that church was free housing in the house next door. As a result, people dropped by at their house a lot. They criticized how she kept house and how she was raising their son. They criticized her for what she wore.
She was a talented musician who played in church and wrote music. When she gained a regular gig playing at a lounge, they called her immoral. For a while, she even stopped going to church, which really made them talk.
I'd say that minister's spouses are scrutinized in ways that spouses of people with other jobs don't have.
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