I have a serious question: Why do religious people grieve when someone dies?

[karlrschneider]

Shouldn't it be an occasion for celebration for an event that, according to most faiths, has placed the departed in eternal bliss? I don't get it...

[mdmc]

1. even the most enlightened feel attachment

:kick:

[karlrschneider]

3. So there's nothing altruistic going on there? Okay that makes sense.

:eyes:

[mdmc]

29. ?

wtf

[GreenPartyVoter]

60. Seriously. I believe my mom is still in exiestence in some form, but I am appalled that

anyone whould think that I didn't suffer from losing her in the here and now with me.

So I echo your WTF, and add a "what a hurtful thing to say".

[sammythecat]

73. that killed me!

:rofl: I gotta stop drinking this port wine. I laughed out loud at your bewilderment.

[mdmc]

114. peace and low stress

:kick:

[no_hypocrisy]

2. They miss the deceased as a normal human reaction.

I don't think the religious longterm payoff is considered too much in the midst of feeling lonely and abandoned.

[greenbriar]

7. exactly

I miss my father deeply

[zanne]

21. I miss my mother the same way.

It seems impossible that a living, breathing, loving person can be here one day and then just be....gone. I don't want to throw out all my mother's clothes because that would mean there was nothing left of her on this earth.

[CTyankee]

39. I'm so sorry to hear that. I gave away my mother's clothes but

what I have of her is her legacy as a mother. It was my mother that made me the mother I was and my kids are great as a result. I am travelling now as a result of my mother telling me to "Go!" and travel the places I wanted to go, but didn't until she died at the age of 94.

I have now inherited an income from her, enabling me to travel to places I never could before. I have been to Sicily and to Rome, Tuscany and Umbria. I am going to London, Paris, Switzerland and Venice next fall, the Venetian countryside and Spain, Morocco and Portugal in 2008, and Greece in 2009. I got it all worked out!

[lonestarnot]

66. Yes there is something of her left on this earth and it lives on in

your memory of her. She won't be gone until you are. :hug:

[wicket]

82. I am so sorry

:hug: My sister made a quilt out of some of our grandmother's clothing, so she is always with us.

[zanne]

89. What a great idea!

Thanks.

[wicket]

120. Any time

:) :hug:

[liberalEd]

4. Deep down, I suppose they all have doubts n/t

[karlrschneider]

12. Probably, but you'd never notice it by their pontifications before the fact.

...

[mitchum]

18. Maybe those pontifications are little more than pep talks to themselves

[Joe Chi Minh]

105. I read somewhere that, generally, Catholics don't seem to have the same

fear of death as most others. It's the great no-no to my wife and my mother, but not my sister, who had a near death experience as as a young child.

And it's not to me either. So, while I was very grateful to the medical staff for their care and expertise, the prospect of the surgery itself didn't bother me in the slightest. I mean I wouldn't have been worrying about it the night before or anything like that, or while waiting for it, for that matter.

As a matter of fact, when I was lying on a trolley after a heart op several years ago, and the nurse asked me if I wanted anything to eat, I was quite tickled, thinking she was pulling my leg, as I didn't realise the op had been done. I thought I was waiting to go in!

[Arugula Latte]

118. Religion in general requires a great deal of self-convincing.

Much of it is contrary to common sense or logic, so many religious people have a lot invested in perpetuating these beliefs. I believe that so many of them are so defensive about their "faith" because they are also trying to convince themselves that they believe this stuff. As Mark Twain said: "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."

[Warpy]

5. Same reason we heathens do

because they're going to miss that person horribly.

Death is final.

[laylah]

6. Well, although I am spritual vs religious,

I grieved for both my parents when they died because of MY loss. Celebrations of life were also held during the times of their deaths. I know they are both in a better place, and I truly do believe in an afterlife and reincarnation, but I surely do miss them both.

Just my 2 cents.

Jenn

[Bunny]

27. I have the same belief as you. I miss my dad dearly, but I have

faith that he is content in the afterlife, surrounded by those who went before him. I also believe that I'll see him again when I get to that place. That thought has given me peace in dealing with his death.

[LittleClarkie]

8. A form of selfishness I suppose

We want our loved ones with us, even if we think they've gone to a better place.

[madokie]

9. me either

and that is one reason that the death penalty is not punishment, easy to be forgiven and gold streets everywhere, and if you believe the right ones and you play your cards right you might even qualify for a few virgins, woopie

[Danger Mouse]

10. Jesus wept when Lazarus, his friend, died.

Why should we be any different?

[karlrschneider]

16. Well, Lazarus was only dead for a little while. The first time, anyhow...

:eyes:

[ToolTex]

38. You mean he's still dead?

[ToolTex]

40. Pure selfishness. It is all about them not the dead person.

Besides, most know that no sane person could follow all the rules to qualify for eternal bliss, so they suspect their loved one will burn in hell.

Actually, don't some cultures celebrate, like with Jazz parades, etc?

[Dorian Gray]

62. Hell, waking a person and the funeral

is often about honoring the person and celebrating their lives.

I can't believe the insensitivity on this thread. "Selfishness?" WTF? All people grieve when they lose a loved one. It doesn'tmatter if they are religious or not. This thread is ridiculously immature and flamebait.

[karlrschneider]

46. I think so but I saw a funny looking guy at the liquor store this afternoon...

:D

[ToolTex]

70. Well damn, that puts a whole new light on it. I thought once resurrected

always resurrected. I thought being resurrected would make you bullet-proof. Just what is the point if you have to keep getting it redone. Might as well be a Buddhist if you're just going to keep being recycled anyway.

[karlrschneider]

91. LOL! Hey I missed this last night, went to bed early had another trip

today!
K

[Danger Mouse]

67. Yes, well...

Jesus still wept for him. He just decided, 'This sucks. Hey, Lazarus, get on up!' And everyone was all like 'Oh no you din't.' And Jesus is like 'Oh yes, I did it. I went there.'

[Joe Chi Minh]

107. It would have been that his close friend, Lazarus, was ordained to

suffer, in order to illustrate Jesus' power as God to raise him from the dead.

Jesus also wept over Jerusalem for the impenitence and hardness of heart of so many of its self-styled worthies. And it seems highly likely there would have been some of that bitter sorrow over the sufferings of Lazarus and his sisters, for the same reason.

[michaz]

11. Gees, guess this is one of those questions

that just has a common sense answer. Unless, of course, one is lacking in common sense!

[Larry Ogg]

13. Da... There grieving over who in the hell is going too pay the funeral bill.

[melnjones]

14. Often it is both,

mourning and celebration. People can feel more than one emotion at a time, ya know...

[mitchum]

15. Because there is always doubt

[karlrschneider]

20. Exactly my point. Faith is a comfortable notion but it rarely is embraced unconditionally.

...

[liberalEd]

25. faith is unreliable

Faith is unreliable as a method for learning truth.

For a simple example, how do you tell which of two mutually exclusive faith-based systems is correct?

My hypothesis is that people who have faith actually understand this problem but most (not all, of course) refuse to face it. Hence the strange behavior.

[karlrschneider]

48. An atheist differs from a monotheist in just one small way...

the atheist just believes in one fewer deities than the monotheist.

[CJCRANE]

79. Aye, there's the rub.

I wish we could put Pat Robertson & Ahmedinehjad in a room together and let them argue it out.

Both receive messages from God so God would basically be arguing with himself.

[ikojo]

17. I think it depends upon the faith of the person...

I've known fundies who have had people die and while they miss the decedent, they believe he/she is in a better place. They don't whoop it up at a funeral but it's not a somber event.

[asjr]

19. I grieved for my mother who died

at age 84 but celebrated because she was no longer in pain. And my pain because she had been in a nursing home for almost 10 years with Alzheimer's Disease. She had not known who I was for years and that was painful for me. She was a wonderful mother and had a great sense of humor. We all still tell stories about her and love remembering her.

[karlrschneider]

26. You seem to have found a good balance. My mom will be 91 next Monday.

She's still pretty sharp mentally and not bad physically and obviously I love her very much. My question was intended to address the issue more generally, though - my (immediate) family pretty much
turned away from religion to agnosticism and/or atheism over the last 30 to 40 years. No offense was
intended, I probably didn't ask it very well.

[asjr]

30. No offense taken. I just think religion basically

has nothing to do with it. It isn't necessary to be religious in order to love and miss someone.

[pnwmom]

87. Suppose your mother had died when you were 12.

And you still believed in heaven. Would you have needed to ask the question?

How would you have felt if someone said to you: why are you grieving your mother when you know she's going to heaven? Wouldn't the answer be obvious? You wouldn't want her to go anywhere without YOU.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

22. Who says it isn't a mixture of sadness and joy?

My Sufi brother Hassan was killed in a vehicular accident nearly 7 years ago. The community came together to honor his memory-yes, there were tears because of the shock of sudden death and because we knew it would be a loss not to see him in the flesh any more, to have him there with his terrible jokes and puns, to lead the Dances of Universal Peace. But there was great joy as well--for the day of his death was his Wedding Day--the day he joined the Beloved. And so after the funeral (which was public-funny, some non-Sufis came up to me later and said it was the only funeral they had attended where they didn't feel sad), we went to our hall and did zkr, our ceremony of remembrance. My husband and I were in the center of the circle, playing musical instruments, and there was a feeling of joy-and a feeling that Brother Hassan was there, the most joyous of all amongst us.

[Bjornsdotter]

23. I've never understood that either n/t

[baby_bear]

24. They don't always - from recent experience

My partnter's daughter's husband, aged 45, apparently healthy and athletic, dropped dead a few months ago. They have three children. The family is fundamentalist, mega-church Baptist. The huge and long "ceremony" (I don't know what else to call it) was incredible. It was all a celebration. The pastor said that the deceased was in such a great place now that even if he were able to return to his earthly life, he would not want to.

I was crying and it seemed that everyone around me was filled with joy.

I didn't get it. Still don't.

b_b

[MoseyWalker]

28. memories

memories of words spoken. memories of expressions given. memories of hopes and dreams that are now denied.

memories.

[TerdlowSmedley]

31. Because they are human.

[northshore]

33. greif...

We greive for OUR loss, while we rejoice at the reception of our loved ones to the Kingdom of Heaven.

[pinto]

32. I think it's that we miss someone who's died, and just plain hurt at our loss.

It's about us - here and now - not whatever future we believe the deceased has, imo.

Grief and loss are a particularly "present" event.

I remember a great documentary about a group of chimpanzees or apes (?) in Africa and the portrayal of familial loss among the group when an old matriarch died. Looked very similar to human loss and grief.

And I remember a phrase I heard somewhere along the way - "The presence of your absence is everywhere."

[Sugarcoated]

34. It hurts more than anything to say goodbye

and not be sure if it's forever or not.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

35. Religion has nothing to do with it.

People will grieve, missing the person who was part of their lives. In my family, most funerals are usually pretty "grievy" for a while, until someone mentions they have a cooler of beer in the trunk. Then it gets less "grievy" and more "celebratory" of the person's life, mannerisms, bloopers, a lot of "small stories" come out, not the platitudes of the more formal service.

[Hardrada]

52. We were at the visitation for a very dear and irreplaceable

and liberal friend, dead too young, and we mourned and expressed our sympathy and then were out in the hallway fooling around trying to get everybody's address on our cell phones and this was mirthful. And went out and had food, beer and wine at an Irish pub to try and turn it into a carousing Irish wake in honor of our friend who love Irish pubs and music. And drank many a toast to him (knowing he would have done the same for us had it been any of us to go.)

[nini]

36. because they're going to miss them here

.

[Raine]

37. Because they are gone

out of the grieving one's life, they will miss them. It's like when someone you love moves away. Even if it's a move up for them they are missed by the ones they leave behind. The tears aren't for the dead, the tears are for living because they have to go on without the loved one.

EDIT: Spelling

[DemBones DemBones]

42. You expressed it very well, Raine. nt

[karlrschneider]

45. Yes, you are right. Nicely put.

:-)

[3121guitarist]

41. Because...

That person is in a better place and it makes the family so happy that they cry.

[applegrove]

43. Because the ability to grieve is almost universal while the ability to

believe in a god ...is not universal. They grieve in order to live life again.

[Ian David]

44. Estate taxes? n/t

[BlackVelvet04]

47. uh, maybe because they will miss their loved one? n/t

[spanone]

49. We're basically melancholy critters...?

[karlrschneider]

51. melancholy...a great word that nobody uses any more. Wottafuckinshame.

:D

But our grandparents knew the song...:-)
oops

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

50. They Grieve For Their Loss. They Still Love The Person, Will Miss The Person, Feel A Void With The

loss of the person.

I would think that would be obvious no matter how much someone does or doesn't care about religion.

[karlrschneider]

55. Yes, of course, but my somewhat rhetorical question was intended to

point out that our 'grief' is mostly inner-directed...that is to say "we" are more concerned about our OWN loss than the ultimate fate of the departed person concerned. I'm trying to think of an analogy here...suppose your parent (or child) was offered a job making $50 million a year in some faraway country but if they take it, you could never see them again...and that's something they really truly believe will bring them happiness (yes, I realize it doesn't get into the venue of eternity but the
effective result would be the same)...would (generic) you 'grieve' over that scenario? I'm just playing some mind games here...not intending to offend anybody. ;-)

[MoseyWalker]

56. I don't know that I agree with that

I don't think it is necessarily an inner directed loss. It is a loss from many perspectives; inner being just one.

[Fla Dem]

102. You grieve for your loss. If it's a young person you grieve

for a life unfulfilled on this earth and the parents who will not see them grow up. If it's a parent of young children, you grieve for them; that they will not have a father or mother to be there for them as they grow up. If it is an older person who had lived a good and long life, there is celebration of that life mingled with the sddness. But the grief is diminished as you are thankful for all the years you had to know, love and enjoy the person. If it's someone you have loved and received love back..parent, partner, sibling, friend...you grieve for what they will no longer share with you; your joys, sorrows, triumphs, failures.

You will miss them in many ways. You will not be able to imagine getting through life without them by your side, without their encouraging words or pat on the back, or a hug when you need it most, or their expression of happiness when they see you. You grieve that you will miss their smile, their voice, their laugh, their smell, their touch. That you will never, ever see them again as long as you live.

Grief is for the living. If you are spiritual, or religious the belief that they have gone to a better place and that one day you may see them again is what gets you past the grief.

I cannot imagine not feeling grief for the loss of a person that touched my life regardless of my religious beliefs.

[mdmc]

123. wasn't sure that you were playin

:shrug:

[Cleita]

53. That's the purpose of the Irish Wake, to celebrate a drink to the

departed because he/she has gone to a better place. I've been to a few wakes and they are healing in a way because they are a happy celebration of the deceased's life. There is, however, the separation sadness as well. No matter if you believe if they are in paradise, you still miss them because you have been separated from them and let me tell you, it hurts a lot.

[uppityperson]

54. I've wondered this also, thanks for all the replies all.

I think you can be happy that the departed will whatever happens next, especially if you believe strongly in a good happens next (whether heaven or reincarnation), but you can also be sad and miss the person, knowing that while you can still talk to them it is really hard to hear answers a lot of the time and you can't hug them or participate in their life anymore. Mixed. Thanks for all the answers too DUers.

[pnwmom]

57. Give me a break. Because they will miss the person,

obviously.

[Binka]

80. If It Was Obvious Karl Wouldn't Be Asking Dear

What do you want broken your legs or your arms?:silly:

[pnwmom]

86. As far as I knew,

he was being purposefully dense, in order to make some sort of point. He was pretending to be sincere in his first post, but in one of the later ones he used the word "pontifications" to describe people's faith in heaven, which is a very disparaging word. In another post, he acknowledged having asked a "somewhat rhetorical question."

I think it should be obvious that people can have mixed feelings about anything -- but especially something as momentous as death (and especially to a religious person who believes in heaven and yet is suffering the loss of a loved one.)

I remember hearing from my grandmother that white was considered the deepest shade of mourning, and it also signified joy at the deceased's entry into heaven.

You can feel happy for someone and still feel a sense of personal loss and grieving.

[Binka]

88. I Love What Your Grandmother Said

I shall think about her words when I remember my sister who died last July. Thank you for sharing this.

[pnwmom]

92. And now I have mixed feelings.

I'm truly sorry to hear about your sister -- I lost a sister, too, many years ago -- and yet happy if something I said helped a little.

:hug:

[Tesha]

58. (They don't actually believe all the &# they spout.)

(They don't actually believe all the dogma they spout and
that it's just a way of controlling people. So deep in their
hearts, they know that when you're dead, you're dead.)

Tesha

[NaturalHigh]

59. Because we miss our loved ones.

I've lost two grandparents over the past year, and I miss them both terribly. I know they're in Heaven, but that doesn't mean I don't miss being able to call them on the phone or go see them.

[Dorian Gray]

61. Because they will miss the person

who died. There isn't much more to it than that. We all grieve when we lose loved ones. They may be moving on to a better place, but we will be stuck here without them.

[Critters2]

63. Exactly.

My mom and I always spent New Year's Eve together, went to dinner then a movie, while Dad and the sibs and partners watched football. This was my second New Year's without her. I believe she is in a better place.

Some friends invited me out New Year's Eve, which took my mind off her for a while, but when I got home I had a good cry.

I just miss her.

[Dorian Gray]

116. I'm sorry for your loss, mycritters2

It's always difficult losing a parent, no matter whether you should feel that they are in a better place or not.

[Critters2]

122. Thank you. nt

[JerseygirlCT]

64. Because we're human, and we've lost someone

For the same reason other people do.

Whether you firmly believe they are now in a better place or not, YOU have still suffered a loss.

And as strong as someone's faith can be, it won't completely overcome that human feeling of loss.

[Dastard Stepchild]

65. The grief is for those left behind...

It doesn't seem to be a fear that the recently departed will not be going to a better place, so to speak, but that there will be a number of years before you will see them again. That is my best guess.

[Danger Mouse]

68. You know...

...this thread is bringing some real pricks out of the woodwork.

[seabeyond]

69. i owuld wonder why one would need to ask this question personally

the obvious and what i am sure many have told you, seeing how obvious it is.... is the loss the person here on earth feels. the person is gone and feels no pain or sadness or loss, it is the people that remain, that you look at and ask if you believe... why are you sad.... that are feeling hteir own emptiness

but then you know this dont you. because after all, it is so very obvious

[RFKHumphreyObama]

71. Because we are human….

We may subscribe to a particular religious faith or doctrine but that doesn’t insulate us from human emotions, beliefs and feelings. When you prick us, we will still bleed. It is possible for us to be pleased that they are enjoying the gift of eternal life while at the same time to grieve for our loss and the impact that the loss of that person has had on his/her family and friends.

We will mourn the absence of that person in our lives. We will grieve for the loss of the joy, love, wisdom and friendship that the deceased gave us during their lifetime and the fact that we will never experience that again in human form during our remaining years. We will miss having the opportunity to pick up the phone and call them or drop by their places to visit and experience their companionship. In short we will grieve for the loss of someone who may have played an important role in shaping our lives or someone who made at least some sort of impact on our lives. I will grieve for the people in my lives that passed away before I had the opportunity to form a close relationship with them and talk to them about their interests, passions and memories

I have lost friends in my lifetime who have died at the prime of their lives, leaving behind grieving widows and young children. I will grieve for their loss and all they have left behind and what they never had the opportunity to experience. I will grieve that the deceased never had the chance to walk his daughter down the aisle or to see the mature and wonderful person her son has become. I will grieve that the deceased will never live to see his or her grandchildren, knowing how much they would have loved having grandchildren. Although it is true that my belief system dictates that the deceased may be looking down on these types of events in spiritual form, it is still no the same as having them here in physical form

The fact that I believe that my deceased friends and relatives are in a better place and that I will see them gives me hope and helps keep me going. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t grieve for their loss or the impact that their loss has on others.

[FrenchieCat]

72. When my child goes away for 4 months at a time to school 3,000 miles away

I grieve...and I can talk to her on the telephone.

It's hard missing someone you love, even if you know that you may seem them one day in another place.

[pnwmom]

93. That's exactly the analogy I thought about.

And you grieve even though you know they are exactly where they should be. But that place doesn't happen to be with you!

[PurityOfEssence]

74. Because they have to face what they've so energetically avoided all their lives:

the possibility that death is just that. Yes, the belief in an afterlife brings much comfort, but there's a nagging little something left there in many people, and addressing it in the face of deep loss is very jarring.

[pnwmom]

99. Many haven't "energetically avoided" it at all.

Doubt is at the very heart of true faith.

Otherwise, it wouldn't be faith . . . it would be certainty.

[Skittles]

75. their faith doesn't quite go that far

they are very selective about their use of their "fatih"

[pnwmom]

94. That's not selective. It's being human, and suffering

a human loss of companionship.

Nothing about believing that a loved one is in heaven will completely take away sad feelings that come from missing another person.

[Skittles]

112. I've heard of people losing their faith when a loved one dies

I guess it's OK when it happens to others

[Fire Walk With Me]

76. I've read a lot, and most faiths say that getting to "bliss" or God is exceptionally hard.

Perhaps that's why people grieve, alongside personal discomfort regarding a personal lack of experience regarding the death process.

There just aren't too many Mother Theresas around these days. Perhaps the increasing darkness will create some out of pure symmetry.

[JNelson6563]

77. I think a better question is....

Why do those who believe in a glorious afterlife fear death?

To mourn those who pass is natural when one feels affection for the dearly departed. To fear leaving this cold cruel world to go to paradise that awaits the believer, now that is a mystery.

Julie

[Norquist Nemesis]

90. That's exactly what I don't get either

Heck, even Pat Robertson has his Health Drink to make you live longer! LOL!

I really don't get it. Supposedly, we all want to get into Heaven but not just yet even though when we go is God's will and we don't know when it will happen but we should try every possible means to hold off God's will for as long as possible? :crazy:

[pnwmom]

95. Because many of those who believe

in a glorious afterlife do not believe that it is necessarily meant for them -- in other words, they also believe in the possibility of purgatory and hell.

[Vinca]

78. I've always wondered why those who live their entire lives

waiting to "go to Jesus" delay the event. Why don't they off themselves? (Hint, hint, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and others.)

[pnwmom]

96. If you're talking about suicide,

many Christian faiths teach that that will prevent a person from ever going to heaven.

Which may be why we have fewer suicide bombers, come to think of it.

[malaise]

81. To quote Peter Tosh

'everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die'. Religious people are the worst hypocrites on the planet.

[pnwmom]

98. You're just insulted a great many DU'ers.

Religious people are no more hypocritical than any other group on the planet. Some atheists who pretend to be open-minded, for example.

[malaise]

104. I also insulted my own Catholic obsessed

dear departed mother.

[pnwmom]

106. Apparently you have a problem with your mother

but you don't need to project that problem onto all other people with a religious faith.

[malaise]

109. I adored my mother

just hated her religion and all other religions. Religion is the world's greatest con.

Add.

[pnwmom]

110. I see. Another atheist with all the fervor and certainty

of a fundamentalist.

[malaise]

111. Fervour and certainty.

LOL. By no means but the laws of nature are good enough for me.

[deutsey]

83. The same reason they feel sad when someone they love (like a child)

goes away. They miss them. They may feel happy about what the person is leaving them for (college, a job, etc.), but there's still a sadness about missing them too.

In other words, "religious people" are human beings like everyone else.

[pnwmom]

97. Exactly. They're human beings, and humans grieve

when they miss their loved ones.

[QMPMom]

84. The mourners grieve for themselves, not for the deceased. n/t

[hedgehog]

85. Attempting to apply logic to religious faith misses one huge factor:

Love.

It's a mistake that both atheists and many Church Fathers often share. I think it was St. Augustine that came up with the notion of Limbo because logically the unbaptized couldn't go to Heaven no matter how blameless. It's taken us 2000 years to figure out that the Love of God transcends such logic and readily welcomes the unbaptized to Heaven.


As for the suggestion that those of us who believe in Heaven should depart immediately, one of the first statements in the Bible is that the Lord looked upon Creation and saw that it was good. We're hear to build heaven on earth.

[WI_DEM]

100. funerals are for the living in my opinon. Yes, you believe that the person has

gone on to a better place and we will be reunited when we die, but the fact that we are going on in life without somebody we may have loved is still a very sad thing. Does that make any sense to you?

[timtom]

101. Could it possibly be a sense of loss

over a loved one?

[Joe Chi Minh]

103. If they do, it's likely to be for their own loss, not fear for the fate of their

loved one.

[Nikia]

108. In addition to the other responses, we place so much importance on this life

Because it is what we know and have existed in.
I think that it is perfectly right to be sad for the deceased if we feel that the person had a great many dreams unfilled or if they didn't get to experience good things in life that we feel that they deserved. For example, I went to college with a genuinely nice guy who was very bright and wanted to be a doctor. Shortly before he would have graduated from medical school, he was killed in an accident. I think that it is perfectly right to be sad for him because he never got to be a doctor like he wanted to and may have helped a great many people if he hadn't been killed.

[cynatnite]

113. I'm nowhere near religious, but when my stepdad died...

I grieved. I loved him very much and still feel the loss to this day. We all have our own way for dealing with the loss of a loved one. Some celebrate, others cry and many other ways.

I don't get the need to judge how a person, religious or not, grieves.

[melm00se]

115. because they are

human

[MissMillie]

117. because they'll miss the one who died

even if they think the deceased is going to a better place, they'll miss them.

[Midlodemocrat]

119. Loss. Missing them.

I lost my mom in 2002 and grieve for her everyday and I am a person of faith. I miss her.

[mmonk]

121. People grieve for their loss.

For what it's worth, religious people don't seem to be grieving enough over the war to be normal.

[pitohui]

124. because they don't really believe their own nonsense

you'd have to be pretty delusional and insane to actually believe that the dead are going to rise again, you know

people say what they feel they have to say and pretend to believe what they pretend they have to believe to fit in, but in the end, we all know damn well that it's no fun being food for the worms

you get it just fine, we all do, we just have to pretend we don't because otherwise the stupid people feel threatened that not everyone is stupid