Ripples in the fountain of youth - on death, dignity, and decency

The Straight Story

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Tue Jan-02-07 06:51 PM
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Ripples in the fountain of youth - on death, dignity, and decency

Edited on Tue Jan-02-07 07:12 PM by The Straight Story

I sit, often, reflecting on my own self as I stare into the pool of my youthful past. Gazing back up at me I see varying faces and events in my life. Some I am proud of, others ashamed of.

A road runs through my life, with twists and turns, fast speed limits then slow - and sometimes forks in the road. If every hour of my life were a mile, I would have traveled far by our standards, and seen much.

My mother was 70 when she passed on. Her road ended at an exit ramp in a local hospital. I know now things about her which I had not always known, and combined with what I did know I can tell she did not lead a perfect life.

I choose though to celebrate the good she did - and the good she was. I can fault all day, maybe even blame some of my own life's woes on her actions (or inactions). But to me, the good should be celebrated and elevated. We have enough bad in the world each day that we see and connect to.

When she died hundreds showed up. And remembered all the good memories together of her life. Bad things seem a way of life in some ways, so when we lose someone who spread goodness to it we mourn. We have lost more than a person, we have lost something positive in our own brief life - and positive seems to be spread a little thin these days.

I see in the pool below me my youth. And in some ways I see my exit ramp somewhere ahead as well. This fountain of youth I cannot drink from and magically become younger - but I can drink of it and soak in the goodness of younger days and fill my soul with the positive I have experienced in my life. Instead of drinking from the cup of bitterness and shame.

I choose not to fill my cup with such negative things anymore. I still see them, but I pour out such and refill with what I hope will make me a better man. I scoop up the diamonds in the rough, and hold on to them hoping the light that shines through them will help to better guide me in the days ahead.

We all die someday. We will all have someone remember us for something.

And somewhere today, someone died. And we can chose to focus on the negative, or we can fill our cup with the good and remember that even the worst were positive to someone near and dear.

For people are not the real evil in this world - the ideas and negativity they may have helped spread are. And no matter who dies, those things remain to challenge us.

I can make an accounting of my life in the bad column. And people can focus on that when I go. But I hope they will make an account of the good things about me as a person - and if I helped spread terrible ideals, treat them perhaps as separate entities.

For I, like you, started in this world as nothing more then a mere baby and was shaped by the world around me, as much as I shaped the world around myself in later years.

People do bad things indeed, but never in a vacuum. And when they are gone, any chance of them doing good anymore is gone with them. We lose a potential, and we gain next to nothing in most cases.

Let the record reflect if you wish that I was once a freeper, I smoked, I drank too much at times, and that I did not always do the right thing. But I would prefer if the record showed that despite all my failings I tried, and I loved, and I did for others as best I could. Not as well as some, and not as well as others, but for those who know and love me - I tried. And I still am.

Celebrate the good. Dance on the bad. But always remember we get out what we put in, and I hope in the future I put in more positive in things than negative.

peace out my friends. And when you look deep into the ripples in your own fountain of youth, I hope you drink in the good hopes and memories, and find peace.