Pat Robertson will, God willing, *WIN* the War on Christmas this year (please help)

[underpants]

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," Robertson said yesterday on "The 700 Club," his long-running show on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

"The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that," said the 76-year-old preacher and one-time presidential candidate.

Robertson said God spoke to him during his annual one-on-one prayer retreat with the Almighty.

He said God told him that major U.S. cities and millions of people will be affected ...forecast to happen after September.

"The evil people will come after this country, and there's a possibility - not a possibility, a definite certainty - that chaos is going to rule," said Robertson, urging listeners to pray.

"God said he's going to restrain the evil, but he isn't necessarily going to restrain it in the beginning," Robertson said. "A lot of these things can be reversed; we just need to do a lot of praying."


I also think he takes contributions, you know, to the cause

Source:
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/01/god-continues-punking-pat-robertson.php

[Missy M]

1. God talked to him on his one on one prayer retreat....

funny how God only talks to these people when they're alone.

[acmavm]

2. He's got his wires crossed. It's America that'll be using the nukes

He needs to get a better antenna

[northzax]

3. wait a minute-

God is extorting us! What a pigfucker. If we don't worship him, he won't stop the evil terrorists from killing us (and even if we do worship him, he will let some of us get killed, just to prove the point) This is cheap extortion, no more, no less. I know that God is Italian, but who knew he is Sicilian?

to all the Sicilians out there, the above use of hyperbole and stereotypes is in no way intended to disparage your fine island and the excellent small businessmen it has produced over the years, really, I like my kneecaps, please don't break them!

[underpants]

7. WELL .. I have NEVER!

heard god called a pigfucker before. I must have missed that week of church

:rofl:

[northzax]

11. well, when God acts like a two bit thug

I will call him on it.

[RubyDuby in GA]

9. I am recommending this thread for the sheer simple use of the term

pigfucker.

Oh yeah....

[johnlal]

4. True Snake Oil Salesman

Prediction: This will happen in September, unless we really pray to avert it.

Best Case Scenario: Scare the crap out of gullible people, get them to contribute a lot of money in the short run, and maybe by September everybody will forget the prediction. New prediction next year!

Next Best Case Scenario: Collect a lot of contributions. In September the naysayers remind everyone that my prediction didn't come true. I attribute it to the faith of my followers and the prayers offered to God. Make new prediction next year.

Worst Case Scenario: Nuclear attack on a major city in US comes true. I claim vindication, ask for new round of contributions, plus money for charity to help victims of the attack, and continually remind people that I predicted the disaster.

Win/Win/Win for Pat Robertson

[underpants]

6. It's kinda hard to get fired as the coach when there is no final score

it truly is a great business model.

I think it is either first or second in terms of professions too.

[sofa king]

5. "If I could just get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom, I think that's the answer."

--Pat Robertson

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3944/is_200311/ai_n9316713

[CrispyQ]

8. Mr. Robertson, you ignorant slut . . .

"The evil people will come after this country, and there's a possibility - not a possibility, a definite certainty - that chaos is going to rule," said Robertson, urging listeners to pray.


The evil people are running/ruining this country.

[Jacobin]

10. Can you imagine what could be done with a mailing list of his

contributors?

Especially their email addresses?

"Hi, fellow christian, my name is Patouk and I live in the country of Nigeria. My grandfather, rest his soul, passed two years ago and the prime minister has frozen his bank account with US$10 million which he left for me. Alas I cannot receive this inheritance without a good american christian to vouch for me. If you would be so kind as to send me $10,000 to come to america and visit with you to have you vouch for me, I will split said millions with you, as a godly american. I know I can count on you."

Your friend,

Patouk