Summification of Bush's Speechifying Last night

[Future Principal]

My name is George W. Bush, and I am a complete fucking retard. Tonight, I will announce at my masterbatory fantasy of the Iraq War is going shitty, so it's time to escal. . .oops, I mean surge troop levels. What ever happened to Surge? I used to mix that soda with Jack Daniels and it was a sweet drink.

Anyway, tonight, I am announcing I am send 21,000 more armed services soldiers to Iraq to possibly come home in a box for a well-defined emission. . .what that emission is, I won't say. But Al-Qaida, 9/11, terrorists, terra and bipartisanship says I need to do this to spread freedom with their sacrifice. Sacrifice for Freedom is hard work, but so is speechifying, so with the bi-partisan help of Joe Lieberman and the 49 Republicans in Congress, I hope I can back those other wuzzy Democrats into a corner so Karl Rove can frame the debate to make them look like they are troop-hating terrorist lovers.

God Bless my Christian America and to those reasonable people who don't like this or agree with me, I have two words for ya: Who Cares? Like the WWE reference, right? The voices in my medicated head the youthenized in this Country would think that was groovy. So, now, I will leave this room full of books I have never been in before and finish off the eightball I started before this speechifying began. God Bless America and let's waste some more Iraqi children in Jesus' name.


Is it off? I hope those 31% who still like me bought this bullshit.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

1. Jebus loves your speechifyin' self!

:smoke:

[geardaddy]

2. Isn't that the actual transcript?

;D

[mikeytherat]

3. Much shorter version here:

Tom Tomorrow (http://thismodernworld.com):

Shorter George Bush

"I got us into this clusterfuck and by god, I’m keeping us there."

mikey_the_rat