|
Edited on Sat Jan-13-07 11:06 PM by liberalhistorian
Ya gotta love the Onion, they're almost always right on target! Here's the 2007 calendar item for today, a list of what American cities are doing to "protect" their citizens from "terrorist" attacks. Hilarious, as usual!
1. Minneapolis: Renaming certain areas as "terror-free" zones. 2. Detroit: Detonating any automobile that could potentially become a car bomb 3. Albuquerque: Declaring citywide ban on national news coverage 4. Los Angeles: Stationing armed gas-mask soldiers on school buses to ensure that our children live without fear. 5. St. Louis: Gateway Arch fitted with giant convex security mirror 6. Oklahoma City: Exhaustively cavity-searching incoming cattle for bombs 7. Denver: Dismantling enormous mountain range to the west in order to eliminate potential hiding places for terrorists. 8. Cape Cod, MA: Wearing special new "anti-terror-patterned" cable-knit sweaters. 9. Kokomo, Ind: Installing lightning rods throughout town, since chance of getting hit by lightning much greater than being killed by a terrorist.
|