= 9 Uncommon Ways To Keep Warm = By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Frigid weather got you down? Warm the heart of your cockles with these smokin' tidbits

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2007/01/17/notes011707.DTL&nl=fix

1) First and foremost, warm yourself in front of a nice Duraflame fire as you hone jokes about global warming. Say things like "Oh my God, so this is what they mean when they say the planet's weather systems are becoming more volatile and unpredictable," ha ha wink wink, as we all whistle past the graveyard and remember that 2006 was the warmest year we've ever known and New York recently hit a record 72 degrees in January even as Napa Valley drops to 21 degrees and icicles give the next orange crop the kiss of death.

Note how the energy industry is racing to build 150 brutally pollutive new coal plants by 2011, before Congress wakes the hell up and starts enacting stricter environmental laws, and that one of the nastiest coal companies, TXU of Texas, is rushing to complete 11 new pollution-spewing coal plants that will collectively pump out the toxic equivalent of 11 million SUVs. Feel your heart sizzle in pain as you guess which side the Bush administration is on.

Side note: If you are from a red state and don't really understand the concept of global warming and still think it's all a big left-wing conspiracy to sell more Prius' and science books and gay-causing tofu, be sure to make jokes about how it sure doesn't feel warm, what with it being all, you know, cold and stuff. Remain too mistrustful of "goddamn liberal media" to notice how this joke is only funny to 5-year-olds. From Texas.

2) Amuse self into cozy warmth with anecdotes about wimpy Californians who think 30 degrees is somehow "cold," when in fact you grew up in Chicago or Minneapolis or Michigan and/or dated a struggling anorexic cosmo-swilling model named Genevieve from New York and therefore you really know cold. ...

Read the rest:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2007/01/17/notes011707.DTL&nl=fix

[Kadie]

1. k&r n/t

[IronLionZion]

2. Genevieve can really make you shiver! BRRRRR nt