Late-night jokes about the Bush speech

[FourScore]

Jay Leno: "It was nothing but reruns on TV last night. But enough about President Bush's speech."

Jay Leno: "Actually, the good news last night, President Bush finally admitted he made some mistakes in Iraq. The bad news, he's planning on making the same mistakes again."

Jay Leno: "As you know, President Bush is now calling for sending 21,000 more troops to Iraq. How does he come up with that number? I don't think there's 21,000 people in the country that even think that's good idea."

Jay Leno: "Ted Kennedy attacked the president. He said Iraq is George Bush's Vietnam. Which is very unfair. There is a huge difference. Bush knew how to get out of Vietnam."

David Letterman: "And people who watched the speech said that President Bush looked uncomfortable, and I was thinking, looked uncomfortable? Of course, he's in a library surrounded by books! By books! Of course he's going to look uncomfortable."

David Letterman: "But here's the solution. It's the big surge. Bush is going to send more troops to Iraq. That's the solution. Going to send more troops to Iraq. And I was thinking, you think he'd be doing this if he was still in the National Guard?"

Jon Stewart: "Last night the president went to the White House's library, or 'libary' as he often refers to it, to show us the way forward. ... Mr. President, what is the new plan?...20,000 troops? We have 130,000 there now. That's only a 15% increase. That's not a surge, that's a gratuity. That's a tip, and that's not even a good tip."

Conan O'Brien: "Of course, after hearing the President's speech, Democrats in the Senate are seeking bipartisan support for a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush's deployment of his military escalation. In response, President Bush said, 'Huh?'"

And finally...

David Letterman's Top Ten Features of Bush's Iraq Plan:

10. Make the war best two-out-of-three

9. Blame it on that crazy New York gas leak

8. Convene blue-ribbon study group; ignore recommendations

7. Consult with Rumsfeld, who's now working as a casino greeter

6. Sit on ass until January 2009; let Hillary figure it out

5. Send Cheney to Baghdad with a shotgun

4. Tax cuts for the rich

3. Put Giants coach Tom Coughlin in charge of enemy, watch them collapse

2. Raise money for escalation by robbing Mick Jagger's apartment

1. Dig up Saddam and execute him again

[underpants]

1. Good ones

Hayo!!

[qanda]

2. These are good

Thanks for sharing.

[Philosoraptor]

3. Gotta love that Gallows Humor. Thanx

[formercia]

4. Here's a tip for Fearless Leader

Aw, never mind, he would never get it anyway....

[Swamp Rat]

5. "Send Cheney to Baghdad with a shotgun" ... GOOD IDEA!!!

:rofl:

[zbdent]

7. No way ... we don't need any more of our soldiers dying

(even if it is "friendly fire") ...

could you imagine all those soldiers apologizing to Cheney for upsetting him by nearly dying?

[walldude]

9. Hey now... Cheney is busy going after Americas real enemies:

[Swamp Rat]

11. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: MUST :rofl: :rofl: BUY :rofl: :rofl: ISSUE :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: !!!!!!!!

[acmavm]

6. Another legacy of Chucklenuts. He's brought the office of

President of the United to a state of disgrace. Never before have so many people obviously disrespected the lead of our nation like this.

That is a damn shame.

[bdamomma]

8. This regime have no respect for anything, they are stripping/raping

this country for everything it should for.

[bluescribbler]

12. Not true

They do respect the Almighty

:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:
:evilgrin:


Dollar.

[krispos42]

10. K&R n/t

[lancdem]

13. These are great!

Love the top 10 list.

[gratefultobelib]

14. OK, I'm being a wet blanket, but I don't see any of this

as a joking matter, and yes, I do appreciate black humor. But these numbers that are being tossed around represent LIVES of many young men and women who will die in this insanity. One of the reasons bush & co. have been able to get away with so much criminality is because of the jokes bandied about by people whom we actually LIKE, yet we find ourselves LAUGHING at that which really infuriates us!

yada, yada, yada...I'm getting carried away. Anyway, thanks for listening.

[FourScore]

15. I understand your point, gratefultobelib

that this war, these numbers, and this President are no joking matter.

For me, personally, laughter helps to heal my soul when it is feeling so much anger. I simply cannot sustain such a high level of anger and frustration at all times. Sometimes I must release the pressure. If humor helps me to do that, then so be it. I find humor rejuvenates me and helps me to fight with more clarity. I certainly did not post these late-night quips with the intention of hurting anyone, and I hope I haven't. But if I have, then I do apologise.

[Jackpine Radical]

20. I think the Letterman/Leno humor topics provide a good index

of what's fermenting out there beneath the radar in the public's consciousness.

And maybe the L/L jokes are more than an index; they may seed that stuff into the mass psyche.

[Jackpine Radical]

17. I think of Viktor Frankl.

The ones who were able to laugh were the ones most likely to survive in the death camps. I somehow suspect that the humor was pretty dark at Aushcwitz.

Anyway, if you want to get a serious, disquieting message through to people, they will block it if you lecture them. Humor seems less threatening, so they let their guard down enough to take in the joke--and the premises upon which the joke is based.

[FourScore]

19. Good point.

Also, in the best-selling book "Anatomy of an Illness", written by a guy who survived a terminal illness, he describes how he beat the odds. One of the many things he did was surround himself with humor. Laughter can be a powerful cure.

[gratefultobelib]

22. I know, I know--and I don't mean to be super sensitive or negative,

but I am so bothered by the pass bush continually gets by seemingly everyone because he genuinely is such a joke. Those numbers are not a joke!! Anyway, I know both of you share my anguish and anger, so we don't need to go back and forth. BTW, I do know the power of laughter, and put that power to use frequently!

Off topic--I've read Viktor Frankl, and I've never forgotten his statement that (loosely paraphrased here) it was not the best people who survived the concentration camps. Very honest and candid observation.

[erpowers]

16. Great Jokes

Those were great jokes; however, the sad part is that most of them are true. Throughout President Bush's speech I was thinking I have heard all of this before and this is just a repeat of all his other speeches. Yes, it seems like he realized he had made mistakes and then resolved to make the same mistakes again. Finally I only wish it was as easy as putting Tom Coughlin in charge of the enemy.

[Lost4words]

18. Great, Leno must be seeing the shift Finally! n/t

[John Gauger]

21. The best one by far is

"he knew how to get out of Vietnam." I burst out laughing.