The Onion: Rumsfeld Leaves Most Recent Job Off Resumé

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

From The Onion

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/57536

<snip>

"What's most important about the last six years is that I discovered what I definitely don't want to be doing," Rumsfeld continued.

Though he has yet to receive any responses to the more than 50 resumés he has hand-delivered over the past month, Rumsfeld remains convinced that his job summary "covered the most important bases."

"I had already included my previous Defense Secretary stint in the '70s, and I thought another mention would be redundant," said Rumsfeld, who also believed the two peacetime years he spent under President Ford better illustrate his more "transferable" skills, such as increasing a budget by 5 percent and maintaining a relationship with China. "I'm not going to put down every president I worked for. Best to keep it to one page."

"Why is no one talking about the strength of my cover letter, which I customized for each company?" Rumsfeld added...

[joeunderdog]

1. He left off his arms sales to Saddaam too. nt

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

2. I'm guessing at his age...

...he's probably not looking for an outside sales position. Otherwise, I'm sure he would've trumpeted his excellent arms sales track record to brutal dictators.

[ellenfl]

3. priceless. eom

[otherlander]

4. Unemployed? Nonsense.

He just has, er... low job insecurity.