Rapture ready board: "What Are You Not Going to Miss?" (after the rapture) Liberals! Al Gore! ACLU!

[Bluebear]

Well, the Doomsday Clock has been moved forward, and this seems to be nothing but good news for the folks at the rapture message board, so somebody started the topic "What are you not going to miss?"

Here are some answers so far for your edification (Someone even lists LIBERALS!) The italicized comments are mine :)

http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=290004
========
tobacco and its stink and effects on the health of millions. (hey! common ground with GD! :eyes:

Ignorance (that from "Stormtrooper". Lots of big macho names over there. Very chimpesque.)

The non-believers and their nasty, snotty comments. (Sorry about that, "Zero Hour")

My daughters boyfriend!

Housework and dieting! I'm REALLY looking forward to guilt-free, non-fattening, limitless fudge!!

Nasty Credit Cards, lol...

My fleshly body.

everything except praising God which will be better than ever. Have no doubt, Jesus is coming soon! So lookup, lift up your head, your redemption draws near! Even at the door!

(I had to steal her little rapture smiley. I guess I have enjoyed the 'sins' of life too much. Speaking strictly as an atheist now, why would God create a world and plunk these people here if they are so miserable? This poster will miss NOTHING? Sad.)

Carnal behavior and hopefully the loss of my carnal ways ... when I am temtpted ... I don't always resist. (Actually that's one of my favorites.)

Rampant rudeness and lack of courtesy. :toast:

That and American Idol - related commericals, Simon, Paula, and yes - Ryan

Constantly trying to unclog my toilet (OK that is one sad rapturista.)

Toast crumbs in the butter. (Deeeep thinker.)

Taking pills just to stay alive.

I wonder if skunk smell will bother me in the millenium?

I won't miss cleaning the house, cooking, constant noise, neighbors, washing dishes, laundry, my nicotene addiction, caffeinne addiction, the cold winters, my migraines, pms.

Those stupid "Head On" commercials. (Hey there's one with a sense of humor!)

Clearing Gutters!

cleaning up barf.

my aches and pains.
not having to worry about paying the bills and having to work 9 to 11 hours overtime in a week
not having to worry that a month from now, my jeans may be little tighter than they were the month before and then having to slack off snacking..... I feel ya.


Cleaning the kitty litter. That is a stinky, nasty job. I won't miss that at all. (Will pets be raptured? I go NOWHERE without my hounds.)

That ache in the back of the neck you get when you have been working at the computer for too long.
I won't miss computers either

Monthly cramps and all that goes along with THAT
Being afraid of spiders -- I WOULD say that I won't miss spiders, but what if they're in the new earth? The NEW earth??

The insipid garbage that passes for entertainment

Cleaning, cooking, laundry, typing, hamster cages, IRS, litter boxes, neverending school fundraisers, typing, husband's cigarettes, liberals, bills, credit cards, talk shows, typing, commercials and last but not least... phones ringing! Hey, "Critty". Don't let the cloud hit your ass on the way up.

the geico commercials,
the target commercials,
drama
body odor from eating too many onions or garlic and bad morning breath.

I won't miss caring for my body! Brush teeth, wash face, shave legs, shave armpits, apply deodorant, brush hair, clothe it, wash it's clothes.......start all over again the next day. Yeesh! Honey, you're gonna be one unkempt angel.

I'm not gonna miss a single thing...nothing, nadda, zip...in fact I doubt I'll think of this life much at all...Except for the fact that it is God's Grace that delivered me... He's a real blast at parties.

The ACLU and Islam Megadittoes!!!!!! P.S. up yours

biting into one of those hard things in a hamburger. OK I'm lost.

won't miss the feeling of being the outsider, the visitor, the pilgrim. It will be so nice, for the first time ever, to feel at home. Yes! Can you even imagine,how it's going to be? That's how I imagine it's going to be,like taking a big breath of relief and saying "I'm home now,with my Daddy!"

Political correctness Right, in heaven you can bash all the fags and atheists and wimmen and towelheads with impunity. Ay yi yi yi.

walking in doggie poop

Mandatory diversity. (Glenn Beck got me to thinking about that this morning. I agree with him in that I think we DO need to start thinking about the things that make us alike, rather than the things that make us different)

My preteen daughter's preteen attitude.
My kids smarting off and talking back.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (I hate that show!)

Jimmy Carter and Al Gore. I think I may add George W. Busch Jr. to that list ! He has recently turned into a sad excuse for a president THUD!

[Divine Discontent]

1. ha!

good replies..

the hamburger thing is tiny bone chips, they're annoying indeed.

I won't miss watching those I love, in pain, at all.
Also, intestinal pains, headaches, and all that body falling apart stuff as I age!
Traffic headaches, guys that do a #2 and walk right out of the bathroom (yes, #1 run & go are bad enough, but doing the #2 and not washing makes us all ill!)

Hearing Repug radio, having to listening to a Rethug as a captive audience (like in a food line), pumping gas, hearing my mom worry about me too much, friends using me, and my teams lose the big games!

thanks for posting this thread...

night!


www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable <<<--- new 08 stickers in!

[DRoseDARs]

2. You know what would make that rapture smiley absolutely perfect?

Having it raptured into a passing airplane's engine.

[Bluebear]

3. Very sick.

I like that about you.

[progressoid]

16. Ha!!

What color is smiley blood?

[nadinbrzezinski]

53. RED, ARTERIAL RED

sheesh, that was a funny one

[nebenaube]

18. you know...

I read this propaganda piece called National Sunday Law, and in there, when Jesus returns, the description of his return and the rapture sounds more like watching a nuclear fireball and being vaporized than ascending into the clouds...

[JHB]

30. At the very least it should leave behind its gloves & shoes...

...and whatever else smileys wear; after all, the big Rapture skyhook yanks you out nekkid, doesn't it?

(of course, the real answer to this quiz is: If you have an answer, never mind,'cause you're not going.

[hyphenate]

4. On one level, their ills are identical

to our own, but I have to say that there are some of these people who remind me of my ex best friend, whose complete and total indoctrination into the cult of the ignorant shows that they're not exactly the most astute of people.

The whole "everything except praising God which will be better than ever. Have no doubt, Jesus is coming soon! So lookup, lift up your head, your redemption draws near! Even at the door!" bit just makes my blood run cold.

[Bluebear]

6. We're cut from the same flesh and blood.

I guess I am glad that I am not looking to some 'rapture' to cure my ills and just try to do the best I can in the here and now. What freaks me out is the folks who look FORWARD to nuclear conflicts, middle east war escalation, etc. because it gets them closer to their 'rapture'. Leave me out of it!

[jobycom]

12. But their solutions are exactly the opposite

Whereas we want to fix the things we don't like, they just want to wave a magic wand, disappear, and reappear in a world without their problems. And of course, they want to eliminate all of the people who aren't exactly like them from their new world, rather than learning to share their world with everyone. Typical childish reaction. The difference, when there is a difference, between the Rapture folk and the neocon Republicans is that the Rapture folk want God to rid them of everyone they don't like, whereas the neocons want nuclear weapons and war to rid them of everyone they can't figure out how to deal with.

The comment of being rid of "Islam" is proof of that. Nuke 'em or Rapture 'em... Same desire, different tool. Sad, pathetic people. As they grow older, they find themselves more and more isolated in a changing world, unable to adapt, unable to grow, unable to accept those around them. They die lonely. No wonder they want a Rapture... A return to the good life, when they were children and everything was done for them. I'd almost feel sorry for them, if they weren't responsible for so much slaughter and misery in this world as they attempt to fill their emotional voids at the expense of others, as though their god would actually approve of their disgusting, hateful lives.

Oh well, all this feeling sorry for them makes me want a pizza. Pizzas are much closer to the truth of the world than these folk will ever get.

[hatrack]

60. They're lazy, selfish assholes - life contains problems, so they hate it

That's the bottom line.

[GreenZoneLT]

5. Jesus, aren't those people gone YET?

They keep claiming they're gonna poof out of here any minute, yet here they still are. I mean, the 1,000 years after they leave oughta be SWEET. No more idiotic fundie bullshit to deal with in schools and courts. A few Antichrist difficulties, sure, and some seals opening and whatnot, but I figure with the bonus of not having to put up with the Bible thumpers, it'll be a push at worst.

I love the smiley, though.

[Bluebear]

7. 'it'll be a push at worst'

:spray:

[krispos42]

43. 25% of americans think the rapture will happen in 2007

I have do doubt that a poll taken in the year 2057 will say the same thing.

However, the modern rapture idea only dates back less than 200 years, and most Christians don't believe in it.

The origins of the doctrine of the rapture are hotly debated. The Orthodox, mainline Protestant, and Roman Catholic churches (which represent the majority of Christians worldwide) have no tradition of such a teaching and reject the doctrine, in part because they cannot find any reference to it among any of the early Church fathers and in part because they do not interpret the scriptures the way that Rapture-believers do.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture

[aaronbees]

8. The rapture smiley!!!

Unintentional comic gold! :rofl:

In addition to all the idiotic things people say there, it's sad to read the person who won't miss feeling like an "outsider, the visitor, the pilgrim." Imagine feeling so lonely and disconnected to the everyday world that rapture feels like a good idea. Damn.

[Mythsaje]

9. Praising God, eh?

That's one of the real things that bug me about that whole religion thing. What kind of omnipotent deity would even WANT worship? It makes NO sense at all to me. "I can do anything, but it makes me feel good to see humans groveling."

:wtf: is THAT about?

[ms liberty]

19. I'm with you there, Mythsaje...

So this "God" being is omnipotent and omnipresent. "God" can create universes, and everything in them, including the excruciatingly complex life form known as the human being. But after all this incredible work (or play, maybe) we call Creation, "God" quits creating anything new, and just sits down at the living room window and watches us every second like some old busybody; expecting eternal gratitude and groveling, obseqious adoration. I've got some major problems with it too...and why any being that powerful would want to be worshipped is only the beginning.

It dovetails quite well with my questions about heaven...I've always thought the traditional view of going to heaven, sitting at Jesus' feet, basking in his love, and adoring him in return for all eternity, sounds like one of the most boring futures I could imagine.

[JHB]

35. It works out nicely if your concept of "god" is basically...

...an ancient tribal king with super powers.

You might as well have God the Hulk: "God is strongest one there is! Worship God or GOD SMASH!"

What moral person would worship such a being?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

57. you should read Mark Twain

In "Letters from the Earth" he mentions god "purring and farting on his throne", while we praise him.

Mark Twain has already said all that needs to be said about the ridiculousness of Xtianity.

[Mythsaje]

62. All that needs to be said?

Hardly...considering there are plenty of modern examples of those who don't "get" it.

[mr blur]

10. Ah, the irony!:

"Ignorance (that from "Stormtrooper". Lots of big macho names over there. Very chimpesque.)"

Surely he'll be taking the ignorance with him?

[Norrin Radd]

11. "...My preteen daughter's preteen attitude..."

So he or she doesn't want his or her daughter to be raptured as well?

and

"...not having to worry about paying the bills and having to work 9 to 11 hours overtime in a week..."

Uhm, I do believe that one is the fault of the republicans. I think this one's sense of awareness has already been raptured.

[formercia]

13. Be sure to sell your house and give all your worldly goods

to the church that found you a seat on that train.


You won't need it where you're going.


Be sure to charge your credit cards to the max too.

[BoneDaddy]

14. Personally

I will not miss those idiots, but then again, I do not subscribe to that insanity. Why don't they just off themselves and save the world.

[progressoid]

15. "Taking pills just to stay alive."

So, stop taking them and meet your beloved maker already! Why wait if it's so damn great?

[atommom]

17. It seems sad that so many of them don't feel at home in their own bodies.

They're spending their lives pining for the Rapture, and missing out on so many good things here. It seems like a waste of human potential.

[Ishoutandscream2]

37. Yes, life should be enjoyed

This is all ya got, rapturists. When you do die, you will simply turn to dust. Enjoy what you have here.

[Sweet Freedom]

20. "I won't miss caring for my body! "

"Brush teeth, wash face, shave legs, shave armpits, apply deodorant, brush hair, clothe it, wash it's clothes.......start all over again the next day."

You mean the body that God gave you? :eyes:

[BlueEyedSon]

21. Religion is a socially sanctioned mental illness.

[EstimatedProphet]

33. Can I use that?

[BlueEyedSon]

47. Sure, but I'm sure i swiped/adapted it from somewhere....

[deepthought42]

22. *lmao* Good one...

I for one won't miss the fundies. Why haven't they left yet? Hmmmm??? lol You'd think by now they'd be getting a little impatient. I for one am ready for them to leave. I once saw a bumper sticker that said "When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?" :rofl:

[The Count]

23. Winning answer: ignorance!

The jokes write themselves!

[ChairmanAgnostic]

24. george w. busch Jr? Come on. you made this up. Please tell us that you

made this up.

please.

[Bluebear]

26. I'm not that imaginative! nt

[corkhead]

25. I won't miss the raptured

[YOY]

27. They could speed the rapture along by eating a bullet, couldn't they?

The world would be a better place...

Sorry, that was vindictive of me...although well merited.

[peekaloo]

28. Lots of them there deadly sins alluded to in their posts.

God's lottery seems to be rigged. :sarcasm:

[YOY]

29. That's Catholics (7 Sins)...Greed is a virtue to these Calvanistic f**ks...

n/t

[peekaloo]

31. Ah hell, you're right.

silly me. I now need to go scrape the dog shit off my shoes. }(

[nadinbrzezinski]

52. Remember they are ALSO dispensantionists

which means as long ss they accept their father (and I don't mean daddy) they can do whatever they want and STILL be raptured.

:-)

Sick fucks they are, I know

[EstimatedProphet]

32. We won't miss them either, except for the fact that they're not going anywhere

JOKE'S ON THEM, HUH? :rofl:

Dumbasses.

This one was my favorite:

walking in doggie poop

Where does this clown live, that this is such a frustration? Why is this common there? Does he/she live in a kennel or something?

[HughBeaumont]

36. They're too busy looking up at the sky . . .

" . . . any minute now . . .any minute now AW GEEEEEZ!!"

[ThoughtCriminal]

34. They think Heaven is a Free Eternal Vacation Resort

I suspect that how much you like Heaven, will depend on how much you love others.

[EstimatedProphet]

38. That is a wonderful way of putting it!

Thank you for that. That was a profound statement.

[loudestchick]

39. Oh! For Reality's sake! Will they just get raptured already!

I'll mix the kool-aid myself...I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I just can't stand them and their childish escape fantasy...my real mom's a princess and she's going to come get me and then you'll be sorry!!!! GROW UP!

[Bronyraurus]

40. Jesus

Are these people for real? If these dipshits actually believe what they say, why aren't they a bunch of cloistered monks or something?

[mentalsolstice]

41. "I think I may add George W. Busch Jr. to that list!" ????

What? He's not moving things along fast enough for them?

[Rosemary2205]

42. I'm really looking forward to the rapture.

life is going to be so much easier without the fundies to bother us.

[Rex]

44. Fools

They all sound Hell bound. :rofl:

What I will NOT miss is all the wackos who 'ascend' to whatever Godless plane they find themselves on. That day will be so peaceful, no more idiots running around doing their best at not living 'life'. Too busy warming up for the 'afterlife'. :eyes:

[Warren DeMontague]

45. With any luck, not only won't they be raptured, they'll be reincarnated.

You were right, folks- this life isn't all there is!

There's the next life, and the next, and the next, and the next... stretching out in an infinite line of fleshy bodies, sexual temptation, bowls of cereal, hard-ons, barf, daughters' boyfriends, dog poop, mortgage payments, etc. etc. etc. etc.

You say you want off this ride? There IS NO OFF THIS RIDE!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! :evilgrin:

[Gelliebeans]

46. Is there anyway we could

help them organize themselves as they wait for take-off? A neon sign and free coffee while they wait? :shrug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

48. Funny stuff

here is a cruel joke... find some of your really old used stuff, and just drop it outside the mega church, as if people were raptured

and then watch the fun....

I mean,what if the rapture ready freaks don't and the rest of us do

:-)

[Bluebear]

49. What a sick joke.

I like it.

[nadinbrzezinski]

51. Thank you, I've considered doing it

but these folks really annoy me

[Ganja Ninja]

50. You want to know what I'm not going to miss after the rapture?

All the morons that just can't stop obsessing about the rapture.

[Swamp Rat]

54. HURRY UP GODDAMMIT!!!

[Az]

55. I want to know what they think they are going to do with eternity

I posted this over in the religion forum but it seems to apply here.

Ok. Lets say the theists are right. You played by the rules. You learned the secret handshake. You bowed to the right entities. Now you have all of eternity before you. What are you going to do in order to fend off the boredom?

Boredom seems like quite the trifling thing. But the problem of boredom is it accumulates. Here in the real world with all the distractions of necessity we have our boredom broken up by all manner of things including the brevity of our life. But in eternity?

In heaven one can presume that our needs are met. So there goes that break from monotony. You don't need to do anything (except perhaps praise the allmighty). So what are you to do? Some people go stir crazy on a rainy day. How are they going to deal with an eternity?

Ok, so lets get to basics. Surely there are things you always imagined doing. Lets do them. Do everything you ever imagined. Think up new things as you are doing them. Do it all. In every combination and every way. Ok... done? Now what are you going to do? Eh... do it all again. Hopefully you have figured out some new things to do by now. Ok... done? What the heck... you have nothing but time. Go do it all again. In fact do everything 20 times. Done? Its getting a bit repititious. But what else are you going to do besides everything? Better go do it all again... make it 1000 times just to kill some more time.

Done so soon? Get back to it only make it 156,485,346,348,784,743,654 times this time just to take care of a bunch of time. Dang there sure is a lot of that time just hanging around in eternity. I'll wait.

Geez that went by fast. Ok get back to it. Its not like there is anything else to do than everything. Make it 262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,
628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,
141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,
677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,
473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,
215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,
815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433,262,628,141,677,473,215,815,672,433 times this time.

Bored yet? You have not even scratched the surface of eternity. Oh sure eternity sounds good. But thats because in our life we have deadlines and limits. Getting rid of such things always sounds like a good thing. But in truth they act more as definers rather than limits. And that often gives all the meaning in the world to the things that are important to us.

Eternity is a marketting pitch run amuck. Everyone wants the best. Everyone wants to live forever. Its just no one has thought of what they are going to do with forever.

[Yukari Yakumo]

56. Adding my two cents (in bold)...

Adding my two cents in bold...

= = = = = =

tobacco and its stink and effects on the health of millions. (hey! common ground with GD!:eyes:

Ignorance (that from "Stormtrooper". Lots of big macho names over there. Very chimpesque.)

The non-believers and their nasty, snotty comments. (Sorry about that, "Zero Hour") Pride, Wrath

My daughters boyfriend! Wrath

Housework and dieting! I'm REALLY looking forward to guilt-free, non-fattening, limitless fudge!!Gluttony

Nasty Credit Cards, lol... Greed

My fleshly body.

everything except praising God which will be better than ever. Have no doubt, Jesus is coming soon! So lookup, lift up your head, your redemption draws near! Even at the door! Pride

(I had to steal her little rapture smiley. I guess I have enjoyed the 'sins' of life too much. Speaking strictly as an atheist now, why would God create a world and plunk these people here if they are so miserable? This poster will miss NOTHING? Sad.)

Carnal behavior and hopefully the loss of my carnal ways ... when I am temtpted ... I don't always resist. (Actually that's one of my favorites.)

Rampant rudeness and lack of courtesy. :toast:

That and American Idol - related commericals, Simon, Paula, and yes - Ryan

Constantly trying to unclog my toilet (OK that is one sad rapturista.) Sloth

Toast crumbs in the butter. (Deeeep thinker.)

Taking pills just to stay alive.

I wonder if skunk smell will bother me in the millenium?

I won't miss cleaning the house, cooking, constant noise, neighbors, washing dishes, laundry, my nicotene addiction, caffeinne addiction, the cold winters, my migraines, pms. Sloth

Those stupid "Head On" commercials. (Hey there's one with a sense of humor!)

Clearing Gutters! Sloth

cleaning up barf. Sloth

my aches and pains.
not having to worry about paying the bills and having to work 9 to 11 hours overtime in a week
not having to worry that a month from now, my jeans may be little tighter than they were the month before and then having to slack off snacking..... I feel ya.


Cleaning the kitty litter. That is a stinky, nasty job. I won't miss that at all. (Will pets be raptured? I go NOWHERE without my hounds.) Sloth

That ache in the back of the neck you get when you have been working at the computer for too long.
I won't miss computers either

Monthly cramps and all that goes along with THAT
Being afraid of spiders -- I WOULD say that I won't miss spiders, but what if they're in the new earth? The NEW earth??

The insipid garbage that passes for entertainment

Cleaning, cooking, laundry, typing, hamster cages, IRS, litter boxes, neverending school fundraisers, typing, husband's cigarettes, liberals, bills, credit cards, talk shows, typing, commercials and last but not least... phones ringing! Hey, "Critty". Don't let the cloud hit your ass on the way up. Sloth, Greed, Pride

the geico commercials,
the target commercials,
drama
body odor from eating too many onions or garlic and bad morning breath. Pride

I won't miss caring for my body! Brush teeth, wash face, shave legs, shave armpits, apply deodorant, brush hair, clothe it, wash it's clothes.......start all over again the next day. Yeesh! Honey, you're gonna be one unkempt angel. Sloth

I'm not gonna miss a single thing...nothing, nadda, zip...in fact I doubt I'll think of this life much at all...Except for the fact that it is God's Grace that delivered me... He's a real blast at parties. Pride

The ACLU and Islam Megadittoes!!!!!! P.S. up yours Wrath

biting into one of those hard things in a hamburger. OK I'm lost.

won't miss the feeling of being the outsider, the visitor, the pilgrim. It will be so nice, for the first time ever, to feel at home. Yes! Can you even imagine,how it's going to be? That's how I imagine it's going to be,like taking a big breath of relief and saying "I'm home now,with my Daddy!"

Political correctness Right, in heaven you can bash all the fags and atheists and wimmen and towelheads with impunity. Ay yi yi yi.

walking in doggie poop Sloth

Mandatory diversity. (Glenn Beck got me to thinking about that this morning. I agree with him in that I think we DO need to start thinking about the things that make us alike, rather than the things that make us different) Wrath, Pride

My preteen daughter's preteen attitude.
My kids smarting off and talking back.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (I hate that show!)

Jimmy Carter and Al Gore. I think I may add George W. Busch Jr. to that list ! He has recently turned into a sad excuse for a president THUD! Wrath

[Geek_Girl]

58. So is the rapture suppose to happen tonight or something?

Just wondering

:shrug:

[hatrack]

59. For your dining pleasure - lots and lots of people who really hate their one and only life

What a sad, narrow, dark little place they inhabit.

[BlooInBloo]

61. If you read it, it's clear they simply hate living. I wish them godspeed.

[mnhtnbb]

63. The most revealing one "I'm home now,with my Daddy!"

These are people who want someone to tell them how to think, what to do, who to approve, who to disapprove. They are children. And they are jealous of those of us who have grown up and learned to think for ourselves.

[Bluebear]

65. "I'm home now,with my Daddy!" creeped me out. nt

[FVZA_Colonel]

64. I once kicked around the idea of writing a short story about the rapture.

Moments after all of the "saved" are taken from the Earth, as the "nonbelievers" stand around wondering what just happened, God appears before them and explains why he has done this. It is, in fact, not a prelude to the apocalypse, but is instead an attempt to give mankind a second chance at an existence without such ways of thought (the people who have been raptured are, of course, perfectly all right) holding the species back.