YOUR State of the Union Speech.

[Philosoraptor]

The ape will deliver yet another wooden State of the Union Speech this Tuesday night, and he'll read the important sounding words that dick cheney overpaid some hack to write for w to read, and it will all be total crap, fear, fear, fear, fear, with a few grave threats thrown in for good measure.

If it were lowly, humble me, I'd say, 'Ladies and gentlemen, the state of the union is fucked'.

We are in great danger, I know it doesn't look like it on the surface, but we truly are fucked. It will take us many years to repair the damage to our government, the assholes have screwed it up royally, but we the people can and will repair the damage to the ship of state.

First we will remove all the assholes and start over with people who are NOT totally insane megalomaniacs, and we will stop this senseless slaughter that we once referred to as a war and we will bring all of our troops home to protect THIS nation.

We can work out all of our problems, but the first step is to clean house of these cockroaches once and for all. Thanks loads, and may the Great Noodley One bless America.

[orleans]

1. randi does a drinking game to the state of the union every year

(from what i remember anyway)

so...are we drinking to it as well? :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

and then we can all :puke: :puke: :puke:

[krispos42]

2. My state of the union speech.

My fellow Americans...

We're fucked.

Well, more precisely, you're fucked. I'm independently wealthy, and most of my money is in Euros and gold.

But you, the bottom 99%, well, I suggest you move to a state that grows a lot of food. This way, when the economy collapses you can still survive off the land while the urban dwellers kill each other over canned Hormel Chili and Slim Jims.

I hear the Dakotas are pretty empty. Pretty much any of the square states. Lots of corn and stuff to nibble on. You can make popcorn. Mmmm, popcorn's good, huh?

But I've run the economy into the ground, exported out vital manufacturing to a Communist nuclear-armed country with a population problem and replaced it with service-industry jobs, and doubled the national debt so my base, the top 1% of taxpayers, can sit on their ass and collect lightly-taxed interest on the debt. The massive debt I've run up gives two hundred billion dollars a year to my base, taxed at only 15%.

I don't give a shit about the environment, I've raped away basic civil rights, and it gives me a massive tingle in my loins to wage war.

If you're not scared now, you'll never be.

Thank you, and God Bless America.