Words have consequences, so picking the right words

[alfredo]

matters. That is what this letter is about. This is my letter to the editor.


Escalation is now "surge", torture is now "Coercion Techniques, and failure is "Success that hasn't occurred yet." Changing from an emotionally charged term to something that doesn't have that emotional charge is useful when you have a truth you want to hide. I guess that is why Bush calls himself "the decider." It sounds so much better than dictator.


I wanted to add transfer tubes as a substitute for body bags, but the rule of three is my ruler.


Do you feel the first part is difficult to follow? If it is, how would you change it?

[Hav]

1. .

I liked it. Short, clear and it reveals their tactics.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

2. I Think You Did Perfectly Fine. And I Applaud You For Not Using The Word Douchebag!

:applause:

Seriously though, fine job. :)

[alfredo]

10. If I had to choose between Douchebag and

Motherfucker, I would have to go with Douchebag. Even if it was meant in the best way, Motherfucker sounds so dirty.

[CrispyQ]

3. It's perfect as is.

:thumbsup:

[NJCher]

4. refer to bush in the first sentence

Such as "...in Bush's America..."

or "In the bush dictionary..."

I like your letter. Send it!



Cher

[alfredo]

8. I like "In Bush's America."

[ClassWarrior]

5. Other than punctuation and capitalizations...

...looks great! Nice job.

NGU.

[alfredo]

7. You think the words inside the quotes should be

capitalized? What punctuation should be changed. I tend to go comma crazy.

[PA Democrat]

6. I love it.

And opinion page editors love short letters because they are easier to squeeze in than a lenghty one.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

9. I think it's great!

Short and sweet.

the phrase, "when you have a truth you want to hide." could be separated from the rest of the sentence by three periods. That "pause" would emphasize that key thought.

[northofdenali]

11. Great letter, alfredo.

I agree with adding "in Bush's America", and want you to notify us when it's published! :applause:

[alfredo]

12. Thanks. Will do. I just have to make sure to check the

paper every day to see if it is printed.

I made a few changes. I'm not happy until I can find at least one word to remove.


In Bush's America escalation is now "surge", torture is now "coercion techniques." Failure is "success that hasn't occurred yet." Changing an emotionally charged term to something that doesn't have that emotional charge is useful when you have a truth you want to hide. I guess that is why Bush calls himself "the decider." It sounds so much better than dictator.


There was an "and" and a "from" that needed to find a new home. This sentence still needs a bit of work:

Changing an emotionally charged term to something that doesn't have that emotional charge is useful when you have a truth you want to hide.

Maybe:

Changing an emotionally charged term to something that doesn't have that emotional charge is useful when you want to sugarcoat reality.

Maybe I should leave it as is.

Thanks

[GenDem]

13. That is an excellent LTTE

Just in time for the state of the union! Good luck, I think it has a great chance of getting published.

[alfredo]

14. thanks. I just sent it in.

Here is the draft I sent:

In Bush's America escalation is now "surge", torture is "coercion techniques." Failure is "success that hasn't occurred yet." Changing an emotionally charged term to something that doesn't have that emotional charge is useful when you have a truth you want to hide. I guess that is why Bush calls himself "the decider." It sounds so much better than "the dictator."

I went with "the dictator" to refer back to his statement where he said ''If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier — so long as I'm the dictator.''

[Richard Steele]

15. ACK! I finally read this thread JUST after you sent the letter!

My nit-picking point is now MOOT.
Probably for the best, all things considered.

So let me just say "well done", and leave it at that.

You will, of course, be sure to tell us if
the paper prints your letter, right?

[alfredo]

18. AAAARRRGGHHH!!!! I know it isn't perfect, especially the

sentence about hiding a truth. I know if I spend too much time on a letter I will never send it.

[Richard Steele]

21. No, that sentence was GREAT! You done good with that one.

My little quibble was the whole "escalation/surge" thing.

I felt it lacked the necessary IMPACT for a lead-in,
because the word "escalation" itself was originally
used as a bland, benign military term.

Just as the government called a (hypothetical) nuclear
power plant explosion an "unscheduled energetic disassembly",
during the late Vietnam era they paraphrased "sending more kids
to die in a war we all know perfectly Goddamn well we frickin LOST
awhile ago" as "escalation".

ESCALATION itself is a bland, moral-neutral weasel-word already.
So the whole "escalation/surge" comparison lacks the
gut-punch IMPACT necessary for the top seat on your triumvirate
of newspeak, InMyHumbleOpinion.

[alfredo]

22. The cover was blown on escalation and it took on a negative

connotation. To us boomers escalation is a four letter word. I wanted to use escalation/surge because it is on everybody's mind. I could have used a lot of other examples but I wanted to keep it simple. Comedians and orators use the rule of three.


Friends, Romans, Countrymen

Three men walk into a bar

Wine women and song




I wanted to point out that bush calling himself "the decider" is yet another example of obfuscation. The examples I used are just there to support the money shot at the end.

[calimary]

17. Excellent letter, alfredo! Excellent points that need to be made and

underscored. I hope they run it. Make sure you let us know!

:thumbsup:

[alfredo]

19. They will. They have no taste at all.

[Telly Savalas]

16. You forgot one

Douchebag is now "senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute".

[alfredo]

20. He's the one that brings the donuts.