Democrats face an unprecedented challenge in 2006.

[Jackpine Radical]

What with Dubai-a Bush crashing in the polls, Cheney at 18%, people starting to catch on to the Diebold machines, the Abramoff scandals, the new Katrina tapes, the deficit, Iraq turning into shit right before our eyes, the medicare drug disaster, and any number of other impending calamities about to overtake the Puggies, it will not be easy for the Dems to completely blow it in 2006. But I have total faith in them. They'll manage to screw up royally somehow, and will end up forcing a larger majority on the startled Puggies in both houses.

[Pirate Smile]

1. Yes, that is the Onion's latest piece.

[Jackpine Radical]

3. I didn't see it--honest!

I plead ignorance. Most people find my credibility very high on this matter.

[Pirate Smile]

5. Well, The Onion has been a little freaky during the Bush years

because it just seems a little too accurate sometimes.

Here it is:

It won't let me copy and paste it for some reason.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45793

[Jackpine Radical]

7. Thanks for the link.

It's impossible to satirize these people, alright. I know--I've tried, and they keep beating me by actually doing crazier things than I can come up with in fiction.

[Pirate Smile]

9. It reminds me of Sarah Vowell on The Daily Show talking about

how she cried during Bush's 2001 inauguration because she was worried he would hurt the clean water and the economy. She said now she is amazed at her lack of imagination as to the more expansive damage he would actually cause.

I feel the same way. I knew he would be terrible. I had no idea he could actually be as terrible and damaging to the Country and World as he actually has been :wow:

[Synnical]

13. Thanks for the link

That's great.

I was able to copy and paste, perhaps the DHS, NSA, INS, FBI, CIA, DIA, et al have spotted your sedition already? ;-)

Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness

February 27, 2006 | Issue 42•09

WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.

"We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. "It will take some doing, but we're in this for the long and pointless haul."


House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi reaffirms the Democratic Party’s promise to remain marginalized.

"We can lose this," Reid added. "All it takes is a little lack of backbone."

Despite plummeting poll numbers for the G.O.P nationwide and an upcoming election in which all House seats and 33 Senate seats are up for contention, Democrats pledged to maintain their party's sheepish resignation.

"In times like these, when the American public is palpably dismayed with the political status quo, it is crucial that Democrats remain unfocused and defer to the larger, smarter, and better-equipped Republican machine," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said. "If we play our cards right, we will be intimidated to the point of total paralysis."

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) cited the Bush Administration's bungled response to Hurricane Katrina as a model for Democrats.

"Grandmothers drowning in nursing homes, families losing everything, communities torn apart—and the ruling party just sat and watched," Lieberman said. "I'm here to promise that we Democrats will find a way to let you down just like that."

According to Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), Democrats are not willing to sacrifice their core values—indecision, incoherence, and disorganization—for the sake of short-term electoral gain.

"Don't lose faithlessness, Democrats," Kennedy said. "The next election is ours to lose. To those who say we can't, I say: Remember Michael Dukakis. Remember Al Gore. Remember John Kerry."

Kennedy said that, even if the Democrats were to regain the upper hand in the midterm elections, they would still need to agree on a platform and chart a legislative agenda—an obstacle he called "insurmountable."

"Universal health care, the war in Iraq, civil liberties, a living wage, gun control—we're not even close to a consensus within our own ranks," Kennedy said. "And even if we were, we wouldn't know how to implement that consensus."

Democratic Party faithful cheer on their leaders’ resolutely defeatist agenda.

"Some rising stars with leadership potential like Obama (D-IL) and Spitzer have emerged, but don't worry: We've still got some infight left in us," Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said. "Over the last decade, we've found a reliably losing formula, and we're sticking with it."

Dean reminded Democratic candidates to "stay on our unclear message, maintain a defensive, reactive posture, and keep an elitist distance from voters."

Political consultant and Democratic operative James Carville said that, if properly disseminated, the message of hopelessness could be the Democrats' most effective in more than a decade.

"For the first time in a long time, we're really connecting with the American people, who are also feeling hopeless," Carville said. "If we can harness that and run on it in '06, I believe we can finish a strong second."

[midnight]

2. Well, when you put it that way.

But first we have to have the abitlity to audit the vote.

[European Socialist]

4. yup, bad karma for 5 years of playing it safe. Hope to be wrong.

[Flabbergasted]

6. That's my feeling as well.

[emulatorloo]

8. Prediction: Rove preparing a new OSAMA-tron® tape, in which

the OSAMA-tron® endorses the DNC. That should keep the pubs in power.

[European Socialist]

10. And the DNC brings one of Osama's wives to the U.S. for a late term abort

[Synnical]

11. Ah, but Shrub has admitted that bin Laden helped him

Not that the Dems will point this out, not for the least of reasons, is that they cannot get any press.

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/28/bush.binladen.reut/

Report: Bush thinks bin Laden tape helped re-election bid

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 Posted: 0133 GMT (0933 HKT)


President Bush answers questions during his meeting with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi on Tuesday.

QUICKVOTE
Did Osama bin Laden help to re-elect George W. Bush?

Results: Did Osama bin Laden help to re-elect George W. Bush?
Yes 73%

21261 votes
No 27%

7871 votes
Total: 29132 votes

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- President Bush said his 2004 re-election victory over Sen. John Kerry was inadvertently aided by Osama bin Laden, The Washington Examiner newspaper reported Tuesday.

<snip>
Bush's comments in the Washington newspaper were excerpts from the new book "Strategery" by Bill Sammon, a longtime White House correspondent.

"What does it mean? Is it going to help? Is it going to hurt?" Bush told Sammon of the bin Laden tapes.

"Anything that drops in at the end of a campaign that is not already decided creates all kinds of anxieties, because you're not sure of the effect.

"I thought it was going to help," Bush said.

"I thought it would help remind people that if bin Laden doesn't want Bush to be the president, something must be right with Bush."

[emulatorloo]

12. related blogger report

Feb 25th - I think this was before the Bush "Osama Helped Me" story came out

http://headingleft.blogspot.com/2006/02/co-7-hanging-out-with-john-kerry.html

<snip>

Senator Kerry shared his views on the last election. He admitted he had made some mistakes, particularly not spending enough money to push back against the lies they were telling about his military record. Still, he said that he was winning that election with just a few days to go when a recording of Osama surfaced. The media talked about nothing else for several days, and it flattened out his momentum. He felt that it cost him just enough votes in Ohio to save Karl Rove from looking like the poor strategist he really is. I have my own theory about Ohio, but then I have a theory about Florida too, if Al Gore ever wants to hear it.

<snip>

[Synnical]

14. So you're saying bin Laden helped Kerry?

[emulatorloo]

15. No

Kerry says he was winning (i guess per thier internal polling) before the Osama tape came out.

Then Osama tape got played over and over on cable news.

Scared enough people in Ohio (and elsewhere) who were leaning Kerry so that they voted for Bush instead of Kerry.

(personally I think it should have helped Kerry -- it should have made people think "Why the heck is this guy making tapes? Bush shoulda got him already!!!!" But for some reason the wavering people I talked to about it felt that "I have to vote for Bush now! Bush will protect us!" - go figure)

[upi402]

16. i still run into rightards all the time. they're desperately trying to

convince themselves that all is fine, by trying to convince ME!