Someone got a new Thesarus!(LTE Huntsville Times (al)) You gotta see this!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Okay, have at it! This was published yesterday in our local paper.

Just be genuine

Have others ever noticed that Democrats are always talking about a strategy?

During the primary process, political advisers tell their candidates to appeal to the left and then move to the center once they become the party's candidate. John Kerry, and Al Gore before him, pleaded with their handlers to come up with a way to make the public find them acceptable. What is wrong with just being genuine?

We have a president who never looks at a poll or opinion survey.

Democrats are untrammeled in splenetic effluvium designed to denigrate any utterance from a Republican. Before Bush can complete a sentence Democrats will unleash a congeries of rebarbative puerile innuendo.

The Democrat party has lost its greatness. It has no quiddity. Put a hundred or a thousand Democrats in a room and find a common thread and all that unites them is abortion.

Their leader, Howard Dean, persists in an ineffable contumacious view of his fellow Americans. The invidious janissaries of the left have co-opted the message and purpose of the party's epigoni.

Democrats should disabuse themselves of their shibboleths of democracy in favor of embracing its dynamic practice. Look at their penchant for the filibuster.

Democrats should abandon their pettifoggery if they are to even approach a peripeteia of their circumstances. Americans are not stupid, especially Southern Americans.

Quoting Richard Whately, "Everyone wishes to have truth on his side but it is not everyone that sincerely wishes to be on the side of truth."

Richard L. Fre***,

Madison, 35757

http://www.al.com/opinion/huntsvilletimes/index.ssf?/base/opinion/1141294872281030.xml&coll=1

Bolding by me.

[WCGreen]

1. God I can't believe how well that flows....

Like a sewer...

After a brainstorm.....

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

5. LOL! I wonder if he speaks that way?

[banana republican]

77. sh* I hope my pc doesn't crash

after the scotch got spilled.......

[Bucky]

81. Yes, I've got my congery of rebarbative puerile innuendo ready to go

Wait, not "ready to go." I mean I've got it "embraced to perambulate."

[OhioBlue]

2. damn liberal elites

in their ivory towers that don't know how to connect with the "regular folk".....

[Syrinx]

3. language is for communication, I thought

This guy doesn't communicate very well, does he?

[Maestro]

4. Somebody trying to sound educated

ends up sounding completely out of touch with the common man and an idiot to boot.

[xchrom]

6. that is hysterical!

[greyl]

7. Holy freeging shnit!

And he still fucked up. (epigoni? haha)

[PA Democrat]

8. LOL! "Just be genuine" !?!

I'd advise Mr. Fre** to abandon his pretentious bullshit if he expects anyone in HIS party to understand him..

[acmavm]

9. Sounds like a pompous ass with no ability to communicate. If he really

does talk like that, I'll bet there are few listeners and his conversations are pretty one sided.

[11 Bravo]

10. That is some funny shit.

If that dude ever seeks employment in the field of parodying pompous jackasses, I'll write him a recommendation.

[countingbluecars]

11. I can't terminate

expressing mirth by emitting inarticulate sounds.

[SoCalDem]

12. I wonder if they would publish a letter from YOU

Congratulating Richard L on his recent birthday, and the excellent usage of his Mother's gift to him.. Roget knew a lot of words, didn't he :)

[dogday]

13. I'll take two syllable words for a 100 Alex

talking about someone who is full of themselves...

[pacalo]

14. OMG. Your heading says it all for me, Tom.

[BrotherBuzz]

15. LOL, a new William F Buckley Jr. in the making?

:rofl:

[mainer]

16. George Will is now writing LTTE? n/t

[Lone_Star_Dem]

17. He certainly didn't expect republicans to understand him

My guess is that he was attempting to create a dialog that would impress any Democrats reading his letter. Instead he gave us a nice laugh at his expense.

You just know he sat back and was all proud and smug with himself when he was finished too. :P

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

22. My 75 year old father brought me the clipping thinking I might

get a chuckle out of it.

[dorkulon]

18. It's the Bill Buckley method

Compensate for your pathetic arguments with an impenetrable vocabulary, so dummies will think you're so smart, yuo must make sense.

See also Krauthammer, Blankley, Will.

[central scrutinizer]

26. There are equivalents in mathematics

1. Proof by cumbersome notation: requires at least four foreign alphabets to define your new terms

2. Proof by vigorous handwaving

more at:

http://www.cs.uiuc.edu/class/fa05/cs173/oldhtml/aides/how-to-prove-it.html

[dorkulon]

50. Nice

Handwaving is a most effective tactic when your booming voice just isn't enough.

[hootinholler]

66. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...

Baffle them with bullshit.

-Hoot

[Frank Cannon]

84. deleted

[MADem]

87. Buckley has the lizard-tongue thing going on too

He pulls a Kimodo dragon face, just in case his bullshit words don't do the intimidating trick!!

[The Backlash Cometh]

19. To put it in his own words: "What is wrong with just being genuine?"

[Tsiyu]

79. Nice!

Same thing I was thinking. Unless the guy actually talks that way in real life, he's trying to "gain acceptance" by pretending to actually use those words in his everyday speech.

Dimson wouldn't understand any of it, in case the guy was wondering if ** might read his special letter.

[Coexist]

20. Dennis Miller? Is that you?

[Clark2008]

21. Bahahahahahahaha!

Bahahahahahahahaha!

:rofl:

I wonder if "Bahahahahahaha" is in Mr. Fre**'s thesaurus.

:rofl:

[im10ashus]

23. Splenetic effluvium??

What the hell? We have smelly spleens?

:rofl:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

24. (I'm checking mine now)

Yes. It smells...

I feel dizzy.......*

[TahitiNut]

36. i.e. "bile" (ancient)

:shrug: It was once regarded as one of the "humours" - black bile.

[im10ashus]

85. We are full of black bile?

Well, if that means we have had it up to our gills, I'll buy it. :shrug:

[Ken Burch]

101. At least its UNTRAMMELED splenetic effluvium

When that stuff gets trammeled, boy howdy, you can't never get it out of the rug.

[central scrutinizer]

25. He's channeling Spiro Agnew!!!

"Nattering nabobs of negativism"

[silverweb]

27. ROFL!

Dear Richard does seem to know how to use a thesaurus, but that's doesn't do a damn thing to improve his illogic or abominable communication. Here's a translation:

Democrats are untrammeled in splenetic ill-humored effluvium exhalation designed to denigrate any utterance from a Republican. Before Bush can complete a sentence Democrats will unleash a congeries collection of rebarbative repellant puerile childish innuendo.

The Democratic (it's an adjective, idiot!) party has lost its greatness. It has no quiddity essence. Put a hundred or a thousand Democrats in a room and find a common thread and all that unites them is abortion.

Their leader, Howard Dean, persists in an ineffable indescribably contumacious rebellious view of his fellow Americans. The invidious ill-willed janissaries loyal supporters of the left have co-opted the message and purpose of the party's epigoni second-rate imitators.

Democrats should disabuse themselves of their shibboleths outsider catchwords of democracy in favor of embracing its dynamic practice. Look at their penchant for the filibuster.

Democrats should abandon their pettifoggery petty quibbling if they are to even approach a peripeteia sudden reversal of their circumstances. Americans are not stupid, especially Southern Americans.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

29. LOL! Nicely done! You should send that to the paper as a rebuttal.

[silverweb]

32. Thanks!

It's merely a translation, hardly a rebuttal. I did this for our amusement, nothing more. Frankly, I can't be bothered composing a "rebuttal" to nonsensically illogical slander.

Besides, if as he claims, southern Americans are "not stupid," readers of the Huntsville paper don't need a translation, right?

:evilgrin:

[Random_Australian]

30. Wrong Janissary

I prefer "Warrior of the Ottoman Turks who had also learned a trade such as plumbing or carpentry"

[silverweb]

33. LOL

Yeah, I liked that one better, too, but decided in favor of brevity.

:D

[TreasonousBastard]

28. Hey! "Pettifoggery" is one of my favorite words, but...

this guy just doesn't understand you gotta use alliteration:

"perfidious puerile pettifoggery"

"effete effluvium"

Ya gets the idea, right?

Fucking dumbass didn't.

[silverweb]

34. You're absolutely right.

He blew a great opportunity.

[MaraJade]

56. I rather like

"Hugger Mugger" myself. . .

[eppur_se_muova]

31. "quiddity" is not in bold?

He seems to have no idea what "untrammeled" means.

[redwitch]

35. eschew obfuscation!

:eyes:

[silverweb]

38. Absolutely!

As the writer says, "Just be genuine" -- like him, of course!

:rofl:

[Jazzgirl]

37. I wanna know....

what the hell does "quiddity" mean??

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[silverweb]

40. Here you go...

quid·di·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kwd-t)
n. pl. quid·di·ties

(1) The real nature of a thing; the essence.
(2) A hairsplitting distinction; a quibble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Beaverhausen]

42. I thought it was the game Harry Potter played!

[hootinholler]

65. Dang I thought it had to do with English Pounds

which are called quids.

-Hoot

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

41. Found it!

quid·di·ty Pronunciation (kwd-t)
n. pl. quid·di·ties
1. The real nature of a thing; the essence.
2. A hairsplitting distinction; a quibble.

[soup]

47. Word of the Day - Monday December 30, 2002

Took him awhile to gather enough obscure words to put this tripe together, hey?

I'm with you. :rofl:

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

39. Paging "Confederacy of Dunces"!!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

52. What a wonderful book! Recognize this?

Perhaps the best way to introduce this novel -- which on my third reading of it astounds me even more than the first -- is to tell of my first encounter with it. While I was teaching at Loyola in 1976 I began to get telephone calls from a lady unknown from me. What she proposed was preposterous. It was not that she had written a couple of chapters of a novel and wanted to get into my class. It was that her son, who was dead, had written an entire novel during the early sixties, a big novel, and she wanted me to read it. Why would I want to do that? I asked her. Because it is a great novel, she said.

Over the years I have become very good at getting out of things I don't want to do. And if ever there was something I didn't want to do, this was surely it: to deal with the mother of a dead novelist and, worst of all, to have to read a manuscript that she said was great, and that, as it turned out, was a badly smeared, scarcely readable carbon....

http://www.levity.com/corduroy/toole.htm

[dorkulon]

53. I kind of hated it

Unsympathetic characters, hardly a plot...just found it kind of ugly and underwhelming. I must be missing something, because a lot of people love this book, but for me, I thought it was immensely overrated.

Just my opinion.

:shrug:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

55. That's why Baskin's has 31 flavors...

We all don't like the same things. (Thank God!)

[bobbieinok]

91. dustbowl picture (thought so but had to check)

from Let Us Now Praise Famous Men ????

http://www.ralphmag.org/AU/famous-men.html

In his introduction to Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, Agee tells us that what he has done is not art, certainly not Art, don't call it art. He tells us it is something else again --- perhaps a disease, perhaps a fury, and if we are to understand it, we are to put Beethoven's Seventh or Schubert's C-Major Symphony on the phonograph and "turn it up loud" and then "get down on the floor" and "jam your ear as close into the loudspeaker as you can get it and stay there, breathing as lightly as possible, and not moving, and neither eating nor smoking nor drinking."

You won't hear it nicely. If it hurts you, be glad of it. As near as you will ever get, you are inside the music; not only inside it, you are it; your body is no longer your shape and substance, it is the shape and substance of the music.

This, he wants us to know, is how we are to understand his work.

Let us now praise famous men and our fathers that begat us. The quotation is from Sirach --- also known as Ecclesiasticus --- one of the Apocrypha of the Old Testament. The irony of the words is obvious and biting, for Agee is describing, minutely, the least famous, the poorest of the poor, the men (and women, and children) who lived in and around central Alabama in the middle of the depression, in the summer of 1936.

more....

****

Agee's son wrote an incredible book, Twelve Years: An American Boyhood in East Germany. If you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. It's the closest I've ever gotten to a possible answer to the question 'What would it be like to be an American growing up in a communist country?' (I think Joel was about 7 when he and his mom and his step-father moved to East Germany at the end of WWII.)

(from Twelve years : an American boyhood in East Germany / Joel Agee.
Bibliographic record and links to related information available from the Library of Congress catalog
Information from electronic data provided by the publisher.)

Joel Agee, the son of James Agee, was raised for twelve years in East Germany, where his stepfather, the novelist Bodo Uhse, was a member of the privileged communist intelligentsia. This is the story of how young Joel failed to become a good communist, becoming instead a fine writer.

"A wonderfully evocative memoir. . . . Agee evoked for me the atmosphere of postwar Berlin more vividly than the actual experience of it--and I was there." --Christopher Lehmann-Haupt, New York Times

"One of those rare personal memoirs that brings to life a whole country and an epoch." --Christopher Isherwood

[eppur_se_muova]

43. "Look at their penchant for the filibuster."

"Democrats should disabuse themselves of their shibboleths of democracy in favor of embracing its dynamic practice. Look at their penchant for the filibuster."

The filibuster, of course, is a tool for the "dynamic practice of democracy". We didn't get the first, so we don't have the second. Don't need no fancy words to say that.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

48. Aren't the Repubs the last to filibuster a nominee? (Fortas/LBJ)

[anarch]

44. you gotta admit, that one line has a nice ring to it

I mean, "Democrats should abandon their pettifoggery if they are to even approach a peripeteia of their circumstances." It's got that sound-bite quality that makes for a great slogan. It just rolls off the tongue, really.

[FreedomAngel82]

45. It's the DEMOCRATIC party!

Ugh! Anyone who says "democrat party" doesn't deserve to hear me listen to their nonsense after that.

[Kansas Wyatt]

46. Bravo!!!

The Right Wing can no longer spin the Mega Disasters following their Dearly Beloved Glorious Leader Bush, so they try to make themselves out to be educated geniuses with their use of language that people to not understand. In doing so, they make themselves appear like the educated 'elitists' that they always denounce the Democrats as being.

Meanwhile, the poor working stiffs, who the Right Wing has been leading around the by the noses, cannot comprehend what it means and only dismisses it as the talk of one of those educated 'elitists' that are against them. So maybe they will draw the conclusion that this educated 'elitist' is praising Bush and attacking the Democrats, even though they now know Bush is hurting them and maybe the Democrats have been unfairly vilified the last ten years.

[WoodrowFan]

49. somebody got a "1 word a day" calendar for Christmas.. (NT)

[eppur_se_muova]

62. Have there been *that* many days since Christmas? How time flies! nt

[MissB]

51. Thank you for the laugh.

Yes, it appears that he really did use a thesaurus in an attempt to sound more educated. Damn pity it backfired.

[tom_paine]

54. I don't think I have ever hear such a disingenuous use of high-falutin'

language since the third grade.

And by disningenuous I mean insincere, uncandid, unfrank, mealy-mouthed, dishonest, empty, hollow, fabricated, invented, maqnufactured, concocted, hatched, trumped-up, made-up, cooked-up, falsehearted, false, duplicitous and double-dealing.

:evilgrin:

[Swamp Rat]

57. Well-done! Let me offer my most enthusiastic contrafibularities with

velocitous extramuralisation.



I would be interfrastically anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused such pericumbobulation if the author was not offered pendigestatery interludicules for such fine work. :D

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

58. Uhhhhh.... Okay?

:toast:

[Swamp Rat]

59. I guess you have to be a BlackAdder fan.

:D

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

86. My favorite episode "Bob"....anyone I know with that name hears my special

Blackadder pronunciation of "Bub". MKJ

[Swamp Rat]

88. HA! Tom Servo!

I dig your avatar. :D

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

93. LMAO! It's "Bub", Swamp Rat, You Rock!

Thank goodness I wasn't taking a drink when I saw the pic! MKJ

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: (it's a BlackAdder thing).


BTW, somehow I just knew you'd be a Tom Servo fan. :)

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

90. Wow, I've missed the series!

[Swamp Rat]

100. If you like British comedy, it's the cream of the crop.

Rent/buy the DVDs asap!

Check out the BBC guide:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/blackadder/

[Lorien]

64. Lol! I love Blackadder!

"sir, I have a cunning plan...."

[Swamp Rat]

89. Private S. Baldrick

"George: Charlie Chaplin, Baldrick. What do you make of him?

Baldrick: Oh sir, he's as funny as a vegetable that's grown into a rude and amusing shape, sir."

[holboz]

103. Blackadder Rules! My mind went to that exact episode! EOM.

[Writer]

60. This and other brilliant works can be found in...

Richard's Miscellany of Factional Conceit: A Purveyor of Controvertible Verisimilitude

Forward by Stephen Tyrone Colbert

[Blue_Tires]

61. that shit hurts my eyes

[Pryderi]

63. Someone should write a response.

[Avalon Sparks]

67. Reminds me of...

Reminds me of the episode on "Friends" when Joey used the Thesarus feature on the computer to edit his letter to an adoption agency as a reference for Monica and Chandler....

The letter was so damn funny, and it was signed.....


Sincerely,
Baby Kangeroo

[madeline_con]

73. ROFLMAO!

:rofl:

[magellan]

68. What a pantload of prevaricating partisan prattle

He needs to be disarmed of his new thesaurus before he hurts himself.

[madeline_con]

72. LOL! No doubt!

:rofl:

[coda]

69. " We have a president who never looks at a poll or opinion survey. "

It doesn't count when Rove reads them to :shrug:?

Perhaps you meant PDB's.

-

" We're going to need everything that we can possibly muster, not only in this state and in the region, but the nation, to respond to this event."

- FEMA Head Michael Brown, during a pre-Katrina tele-conference with President Bush


Max Mayfield of the National Hurricane Center warned that the possibility of counterclockwise winds and storm surges causing the levees at Lake Pontchartrain to be overrun afterwards was "obviously a very, very grave concern".

-

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

- President Bush, four days after the storm

-

"I believe the title was, 'Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside the United States'."

- National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, in testimony before the 911 Commission

[madeline_con]

74. Well, he doesn't read after all. n/t

:eyes:

[Ouabache]

70. He is a redneck with a thesaurus

that line at the end gives him away..."Americans are not stupid, especially Southern Americans."

[soup]

80. SouthERN Americans

Okay, now it makes sense. When I read it, I was laughing so hard there were tears streaming down my face. By the time I got to that blip of brilliance, here's what I saw:

"Americans are not stupid, especially South Americans."

Guess an extra syllable now and then may be necessary.

me ----> :crazy:

edit to correct spelling of 'an' LOL

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

83. My brain went the same way. "Southern Americans?

I've never heard it put that way before.

[madeline_con]

71. "Democrats should abandon their pettifoggery ..."

This guy should abandon his verbosity. Un Buh leevable! :eyes:

[BuyingThyme]

75. Smooth as soap under a duck's river.

[Peter Frank]

76. On the scarface of it...

...I'd add that the flounders caught by the skin if their teets could make a better soupy sales message.

[lumpy]

78. The letter signed Geo.W.Bush ?

just curious

[Buns_of_Fire]

82. We were just insulted, weren't we?

It must have taken a hell of a long time to extrapolate that letter from "Yer mother wears army boots and she dresses you funny." :shrug:

[Divine Discontent]

92. HA! cool post n/t

[Poiuyt]

94. That letter is so cromulent!

[boobooday]

95. contumacious janissaries -- that's my porn name!

It means "stubbornly rebellious loyalist" which doesn't really make sense, but hey . . . when has that ever stopped a Bushbot?

What's really shocking is that the newspaper printed this.

And the funniest part is the profound quote at the end is written in regular old English. Because nobody ever made a profound quote using the word epigoni, which sounds like a kind of pasta . . . and which he used incorrectly.

Rebarbative puerile innuendo! :rofl:

[Redstone]

96. That's a fucking riot. thanks for posting it.

Redstone

[immoderate]

97. A good laff!

Thanks for posting.

--IMM

[NuttyFluffers]

98. Shaggy, Mr. Bombastic, is that you?

http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/shaggy/photos/collection/imageSize/large/image/11
"it wasn't me..."

**** this has been your oblique pop culture reference for the evening. thank you, and good night. ****

[Dem2theMax]

99. Wouldn't you love to see * (try to) read this letter to the nation,

and then have to explain what it means (without ANY help?) :evilgrin:

[leftofthedial]

102. "The invidious janissaries of the left"

sounds like a really bad band