OMG1111 "The Homos are gonna take over, spread aids all over the place,

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

and then... There goes the military!"

From Washington Journal (CSPAN)
March 4, 2006

Remember. You heard it here 2nd.

:crazy:

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Well, that was completely unhelpful.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

2. I just wanted to share the ignorance before my head exploded.

It's amazing that these people (The CSPAN caller)can figure out how to breathe.

[Daphne08]

3. Yes, I also heard that caller.

And they dare to call us 'unhinged' ??? :crazy:

[mrcheerful]

4. Well some chuckle head from OK stated that america was the new Israel

it said that in the bible. Problem is with that is we are talking about the morons who wrote the bible were under the impression the world was flat and there was no conception of any new parts of the world that were unknown. You sailed to far out to sea and you fell off the edge of the world. Funny how they never think about any of these little pesky things called facts before they open their mouths.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

5. Hey, if homos took over the military

I think we wouldn't jump into wars quite as readily, and I'll bet we'd look a lot spiffier, too.

[im10ashus]

9. Nothing like my morning coffee spewed forth.

:rofl:

As a former military man, who happens to be a big homo, I couldn't agree more.

[xchrom]

14. you certainly would!

look spiffier i mean.

they'd redesign those uniforms every two years like clockwork -- and you had better bet that therer be summer weight unis as well as winter weight unis.

and a lot more horses on parades, too you bet.

can't ya just feel the angst growing over at freeptard land right now?

[TallahasseeGrannie]

16. And I'm hearing marching cadences

with eight part harmony and a counter tenor. More medals, more horses. Lots more parades. We'd have so much damned fun we wouldn't have time to think of war.

Bases will be way more interesting...imagine what a gay army could do with retro quanset huts and the like?

[xchrom]

17. and think of the transformation that would happen in the px?

the electronic toys that no guy or gal can live with out would be there in spades!

speakers, turn tables and dvd and cd players -- with everything a do it yourselfer could ever, ever dream of -- all so you could hear that funky beat every where you go!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

19. 80'a music every Thursday night

and ladies night Fridays. Yep, we'd have a good time.

[kestrel91316]

18. Well the whole time my dad was in the USAF (20-some yrs)

they DID have summer and winter uniforms, lol.

Summer was khaki colored lightweight slacks and short-sleeved shirt, no tie. Headgear was his dark blue cap or maybe a khaki cap????, I forget what them call them. It folded flat into a rectangle.

Winter was dark blue wool dress jacket and pants, with long-sleeved light blue shirt, and tie. Headgear was the hat with the brim, but I think maybe as a less formal alternative he could wear the cap above?

On edit: When he was flying he went to work in his flight suit with the flight jacket, and the cap.

[xchrom]

21. the possibilities are endless!

that's what's sooo cool about uniforms!

[Obamanaut]

15. TG, you frequently make my day. Thanks. n/t

[Devlzown]

6. I would remind the caller that

if we're spreading aids all over the place, we do need partners.:evilgrin:

[NWHarkness]

7. Um, if the homos took over

wouldn't fighting AIDS be one of their top priorities?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

10. Didn't you hear the caller. The Gay agenda is to spread aids

and then take over the military.

Hmmm.

[CAG]

8. I caught that one, too; he opened up by saying dems would raise taxes

I think he hit on all of Rushbo's main scare tactics.

I'm sure even most repubs hearing that simpleton were shaking their heads.

[Warchild]

11. The real agenda

The Homosexual Agenda

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.


8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell them you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for them. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "loan" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to see him again.


8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a call," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.


8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.


8:07 a.m. Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you've heard about Matt Lauer are true. Decide they must be.


8:30 a.m. Italian or domestic? Decide to go with three-button Italian and the only shirt that is clean.


8:45 a.m. Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Revos or Armanis? Go with Revos.


9:35 a.m. Stroll into office.


9:36 a.m. Close door to office and call best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend's boyfriend but quickly add "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, just as long as you love him."


10:15 a.m. Leave office, telling your secretary you are "meeting with a client." Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of her eyes (or the cloying "poem" she has tacked to her cubicle wall).


10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade.


11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Hammer Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passe.


12:00pm Tan. Schedule back-waxing in time for Saturday party where you know you will end up shirtless.


12:30 p.m. Pay trainer for anabolic steroids and schedule a workout. Shower, taking ten minutes to knot your tie while you check-out your best friend's boyfriend undress with the calculation of someone used to wearing a t-back and having dollars stuffed in their crotch.


1:00 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from AOL M4M chat for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maître d' recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.


2:30 p.m. "Dessert at your place." Find out, once again, people lie on AOL.


3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.


4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.


4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.


6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Malbec.


6:47 P.M. Bake Ketamine for weekend. Test recipe.

7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, "Over!"

7:40 P.M. Stop looking at the photographic displays at Abercrombie & Fitch and go to a cool store to begin shopping.

8:30 p.m. Light dinner with catty homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be "over" by the time it gets its first review in the local paper.


10:30 p.m. Cocktails at a debauched gay bar, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can't navigate a crowd with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Stoli in a cheap plastic cup in the other. Make audible remark about how "trashy" people who still think smoking is acceptable are.


12:00 a.m. "Nightcap at your place." Find out that people lie in bars, too.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

13. Have you read American Psycho?

You just described Pat Bateman!

Yikes!

[Warchild]

22. No...

..but I've heard of it....and I didnt write the Homosexual Agenda piece, I meant to include the link to it....it's on that hilarious send up website

http://bettybowers.com

that satirizes the fundie rightwing....

[WePurrsevere]

12. When they're as whacked out as this idiot sounds I think they actually

help us.

There's a rather large independantly owned online auction board I occasionally post on that has a "Crossfire" area where there are currently a few similar RW nutcases (maybe even worse) that even the more "old style Republicans" there are telling they're full of crap, are making the party look bad. It's sort of fun to watch their heads explode as the Liberal majority and the old style Repubs take them on and beat them with FACTS. :D

edited to add: BTW I really like your "sinking" graphic... very nicely done.

[Coexist]

20. then the feminazis will ruin motherhood. eom