The Children of Rape

[dave29]

More than any issue, the subject of abortion drives me mad. I never have an answer when people ask me if I am "pro-life" or "pro-choice", because I have problems with the moral consistency on both sides of the argument - and I think both terms are disingenuous. I often find myself looking for a "third way", but that doesn't seem to fit well in an alive/not alive structure.

On the one hand, the right demands we protect the unborn, creating a "culture" around life... and follows through by supporting the death penalty, social inequality, idiotic health care and wars of choice.

The left, of course, is the opposite, arguing for a womans right to choose whether or not to keep an unborn child... following through by demanding we protect all life, offering solutions for healthcare, social inequality, the end of the death penalty and striving to end wars.

These arguments devolve into the moral relatavism incorporated by both sides to knee-jerk support their point of view. Each is of course arguing for life... they just want to be able to choose when it can be ended.

The left bemoans the treatment of peoples of all races, sexes and genders as they live on the planet, but wind back the clock, and the very meaning of life becomes a scientific and cold view of the unborn... rationalizing it's human potential into a conglomeration of cells (which I would submit are themselves alive) - devoid of meaning.

The right argues for personal responsibility (choice?), yet rationalize the entire lives of humans into structures that lead to intolerance, cruelty, greed, and the general crushing of the proverbial post-womb spirit. Get back to the womb though, and you find the sacred cradle of life whereupon God himself has hung a "Do Not Disturb" sign.

It's enough to make me scream, and I do, from time to time. The fact is that neither side of this complicated issue "owns" life. Sure, both sides have chosen specific points during which they can end it, but neither faith nor science have adequately explained, at least to me, what life is, when it begins, and why either women or Republicans have "the right" to terminate it at the point of their choosing.

I am not trying to trivialize the magnitude of the convictions behind "choice" or "life", just trying to point out why I think this issue continues to haunt our culture, and will, until we adequately understand life itself. I am of course speaking from the safe vantage point of being male, and not having to carry a child into the world. I have never had a problem with women getting abortions, nor would I judge them based on the very fact that I just don't know what the correct moral choice is here, and it seems unseemly for me, not having to carry a child, to make the call. My gut tells me in times of Solomon-like disposition that the "pro-responsibility" argument is the best option I have, but it does not resolve the underlying issues.

To make matters worse, I have a friend who is the child of rape. His mother's religious convictions instructed her to keep him, and for that reason, he is alive today.

He votes Republican because of his deep seated belief that the pro-choice argument is the left's way of saying we wish he was dead. If it wasn't for this issue he would vote for the Democrat every time. In fact, he wanted to vote for Gore.

I've argued with him (very delicately) that Republicans do not value life beyond the womb, not even remotely, but he always responds that he does, and his only way to remain consistent on the issue is to vote with those that are "pro life". Any attempt to get him to see the other point of view is seen as an attempt to get him to rationalize his way out of his very existence.

So now, researching my own history, I found that not too far back in the genetic chain I acquired some Native American blood (of which I have always been proud). Further research uncovered that I came across that blood by rape. In fact, the victimized woman on the side of the family in question was from a devoutly Christian background... and the family wanted to disown the child... after it was born. The argument is now inextricably intertwined with my own existence. The whole thing makes my head spin.

Looking at the problem in grand swaths of time, one could argue we are all the children of rape at some point in our histories. Of course, the "choice" to end the pregnancy has not always been present, and perhaps science has finally forced our hand into dealing with this fundamental issue.

How do we evolve here?

Where is the moral high ground? I certainly do not know. I would not presume to tell women what to do with their bodies, but I am uncomfortable with the way we deal with it on the left. Do we value life to it's origin? Do we know what it's origin is? Is it the very first heartbeat of an unborn child? Is it the moment sperm meets egg? Do we have the right to choose what the origin of life is?

No one will agree.

I would also tell those on the right who are pro-life to follow through with that philosophy post-womb... where they can make the most difference. I'm sick of life in general sucking so much because of their "culture of life" causing so much death, and their generally blatent disregard for their own arguments.

Sigh.

[David Zephyr]

1. It is a woman's choice. The law is settled. There is no argument.

I really don't know why we have to keep trying to make a woman's right to govern her own body more acceptable to those who disagree.

I don't give a damn what pro-life Democrats think about this.

I am sick of so-called liberals and self-professed progressives wavering on this issue. Either you stand with women now or you do not.

I personally hope that Casey is challenged in Pennsylvania. I am sickened that our Party is supporting him.

David Zephyr

[dave29]

6. The law is never settled

it's dangerous to think otherwise.

I am not "pro life" FYI, at least not in the conventional sense. I also come from a long line of feminists. My brother, who is homosexual, was President of the feminist club at his high school, which I think is the coolest thing ever.

Perhaps I did not adequately express where my loyalties lie.

Having said that, and pointed out I think governance of one's own body trumps what any one person or government might think, I'd just like to say I was expressing my personal feelings on the subject, and illuminate why I have issues.

You of course have every right to think whatever you want about it, but I won't stoop to excessively defend my progressive street cred.

[Warpy]

7. It's really a very basic right to self defense.

A pregnancy threatens a woman's health, finances, social support system, and LIFE. It must be voluntary. Period.

David, thanks for reminding me that good guys are still out there. Y'all get drowned out by the bad guys all too often.

As for the child of rape, don't forget his mother CHOSE to bear him and CHOSE to keep him as her own. Choice can go either way. That is the point.

A government that feels entitled to ban abortion can later feel entitled to compel it, as it does in China. Remind your proslavery buddies of that. I do.

[Catrina]

8. Well, I agree with the OP ~ it is NOT a black and white, or right or left

issue ~ it is not 'you are either with us or against us', and no, it is not always a 'woman's choice' nor should it be. Two people, not one, create the need for a decision about abortion. Why should the burden always be placed on the woman?

The fact that the issue is so divisive does have to do with the fact, as the OP pointed out, that there is no definitive, scientific answer to when 'life' begins, so we take sides ~ families have been split over this, I know mine has.

And it is not enough to take Kerry's position, that he himself was opposed to it in his own personal life but refuses to impose his views on others, if you are talking to a rabid, rightwing anti-abortion advocate. You are 'either with them or against them'. He was vilified by the right for taking that position.

Maybe when we all stop expecting everyone to agree with us, we'll end this nightmare. One thing is certain, the right will make this THE issue for the next election, oblitering all others, if we allow it. This is the real reason for states like S.Dakota banning abortion.

I hope the 'left' doesn't fall for it again ~ because one thing is for sure, if the right wins in November, none of these issues will matter at all nor will there be any debate about them ~

[TallahasseeGrannie]

11. I agree

and this is the issue in my life which has conflicted me the most. I have come to my own decisions but it took 50 years.

[lukasahero]

12. "Either you stand with women now or you do not." Thank you. eom

[patdem]

2. No one who is pro choice DEMANDS you abort because of rape, but

those anti choice people DEMANDS you have a child even because of rape. I very much doubt if a woman if FORCED to have a child due to rape will raise a well rounded child. Sorry...NO ONE ON THE PRO CHOICE SIDE DEMANDS ANYONE GET AN ABORTION FOR ANY REASON!

[lildreamer316]

3. Thank you

for addressing both sides so well. I have had a slight problem (actually more than slight)with the fact that I almost aborted my now 2 year old beautiful baby boy. I am not sure I will ever get past a nagging guilt about it. However;I have had an abortion before and do not regret that decision. It is such a debate we need to have....

[dave29]

on the flip

my mother decided not to abort her last child, who was "unplanned". My beautiful sister (the fifth child in our family) was born with a genetic disorder that profoundly changed the life of our family, but most profoundly, my mothers. I wish I could say it was for the better, but her life has been so much more difficult than it would have been otherwise. She would never say it, but I know she thinks it.

These are always such difficult issues to deal with.

[IsIt1984Yet]

4. Dupe.

oops.

[IsIt1984Yet]

5. Yes, I think most people feel like you do.

However, I was very bothered by your friend's comment "his deep seated belief that the pro-choice argument is the left's way of saying we wish he was dead".

If abortion rights are left in tact, his mother STILL had/has the CHOICE to carry a child to term and live her life according to her OWN religious/moral beliefs. Weak arguement for banning abortions.

But you're right, no one will ever agree. Which, to me, is the most important reason for leaving the decision up to a woman and her physician. Choice doesn't force beliefs onto people. Banning does.

[CovertOP]

9. By design

it is. They want it you see. Nothing causes more pain and anguish for the maximum numbers of years as an unloved child. Think of the crime it will bring. Think of the broke homes it will create. Think of the cannon fodder it will create when the only choice a young man has in life is the "Reeks and Wrecks" or the Army.
It's either that or possibly "Clockwork Orange World".

[TahitiNut]

10. There is no BLANKET choice.

Every choice is an individual choice ... and MUST remain so. It's only when we presume to infringe in simplistic categories upon individual choices that we face the conundrum... a conundrum created by the presumption itself.

Each and every person's body, male or female, must be regarded as soveriegn territory ... just like it's another country. We, and our government, have no more legitimacy imposing laws on those sovereign territories than we do imposing our laws on Nepal or Tibet.

[stillcool]

13. and I am an orphan...

my mom had cancer before I was born...when she got radiation treatments they covered her womb...She died when I was a year old. How many times was that told to me?...and like everything else about my childhood, of which I have zero memory...I repeat little factoids as though I were a doll and someone pulled my string. The reason why this issue is so difficult is because people are not dolls with strings. They all have their own reasons for doing, or not doing....and in a free society "choice" is everything. None of us has any 'choice' in the life we are given, but hopefully learn to make choices. For years past adulthood I stayed in the doll-like, choice-less world, the only one I knew, where life just kept happening. I had no likes, or dislikes, didn't dare to dream or want, my only goal was to be 'okay'. My perspective on life keeps getting reaffirmed....like my father, there are veterans returning from a psychological hell, from which there will be no escape. I wonder who will raise their children and how they will fair. Neglect, abuse, the lack of truth, the lack of any sense of self, and the always constant...why? Your friend is lucky...many of us are not.

[dave29]

14. you are right

and that is a perspective I had not thought of.

[SheilaT]

15. The whole point of choice

is that no one is forced to do something she doesn't want to do, whether it's bear an unwanted baby or to forcibly abort an "undesirable" pregnancy.

Unplanned is not always the same as unwanted. but unwanted babies are rarely cherished, loved, and nurtured as should be the birthright of every human being.

The other (and to me more important) aspect is that women always have and always will have abortions. Women will resort to desperate measures to rid themselves of an unwanted fetus. If they are absolutely illegal, as in Romania under Ceausescu, babies will be abandoned after birth. The other side of the coin is the situation in China where women are forced to abort babies they want. In either case, it's the woman's right to choose which is being horribly violate.

In a perfect world no rape or incest would ever occur, and no pregnancy would ever happen except those desired by both parents. But we don't live in a perfect world.

Someone wrote an excellent novel back in the sixties, I believe the title was The Afternoon Women in which a doctor became a provider of abortions back in the day when it was illegal. It came about because he'd always been vocally opposed to the termination of pregnancy, and when his own daughter became pregnant out of wedlock (it would have been in the 50's) and knew her father's strong feelings on the matter, sought out an illegal abortion which killed her. A year or two later a young woman came to him asking him to terminate her pregnancy, and when he asked the young lady what in the world ever made her think he'd be willing to do so, she said, "Because of what happened to your daughter." He didn't help that young woman, but it got him to thinking, and when the next woman asked him for help, he did so. Eventually, much of his practice became the doing of illegal, but medically safe abortions. The title refers to the fact that in time, his afternoons were set aside for abortions. Everyone in the town knew and eventually he was betrayed to the authorities.

It's an interesting look at the era. Keep in mind that it was written several years before Roe v. Wade. I think that even those of us old enough to remember those days have forgotten what it was truly like.

To reiterate: Making abortions illegal will not eliminate them. It will only drive them underground, killing and maiming women in the process. And isn't it ironic that those most opposed to abortion are also most opposed to the very measures which would make them less common, such as good sex education, ready access to birth control including the morning after pill.