Driving With The Brakes On - Democratic Underground

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Fri Mar-10-06 01:52 AM
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Driving With The Brakes On

Skinner told DU a personal story of an experience-- giving a friend a ride to a women’s clinic for an abortion-- that reminded me of this song called “Driving With The Brakes On.” His simple story of a simple act of kindness spoke volumes-- in those complex moments, simple kindness matters. Like simply supporting someone in a decision that you might not make for your self; like acknowledging that you have no idea what you might actually do if it WAS your decision; like knowing that there is no way you can know what is right for that person; like giving the friend a ride to the clinic, without judgment.

The song tells the story of a couple driving back home, “now the kid has gone.” It is a story of pain and ambivalence, love and indifference, moving through the night between what was and what will be.

Driving through the long night
Trying to figure who's right and who's wrong
Now the kid has gone. i sit belted up tight,
She sucks on a match light, glowing bronze, steering on.
And i might be more of a man if i stopped this in it's tracks
And said, come on, let's go home. but she's got the wheel,
And i've got nothing except what i have on.

When you're driving with the brakes on
When you're swimming with your boots on,
It's hard to say you love someone
And it's hard to say you don't

Trying to keep the mood right, trying to steer the conversation from
The thing we've done.
She shuts up the ashtray, and i say it's a long way back now hon
She just yawns. and we might get lost someplace
So desolate that no one where we're from would ever come
But she's got the wheel and i've got to deal from now on.

But unless the moon falls tonight, unless continents collide,
Nothing's gonna make me, break from her side.

When you're driving with the brakes on
When you're swimming with your boots on,
It's hard to say you love someone
And it's hard to say you don't

“Trying to figure who’s right and who’s wrong.” I read Skinner’s story on International Women’s Day, the week of the Hate Wing bigot vote in South Dakota-- DU was jumping with threads on abortion rights and gender issues. It finally became clear that the acrimony on both “sides” is so far gone-- like a couple who care for each other but can’t hear each other through all the old hurts........In the song, the man knows "she's got the wheel and i've got to deal from now on."

And if we can find a way to hear each other on DU; and if women can say what we want to say in the way we want to and request or DEMAND that we not be bullied; if that is ever possible on DU, I would like to suggest that a respectful, simple, approach-- like “Driving through the long night,” rather than, “Trying to figure who's right and who's wrong”...........

Allow me to suggest that the men who get anxious and threatened that we are talking about THEM or ALL MEN, stop and imagine what if they were trying to relate to someone in a really basic way:

“...supporting someone in a decision that you might not make for your self; like acknowledging that you have no idea what you might actually do if it WAS your decision; like knowing that there is no way you can know what is right for that person; like helping a friend, without judgment.”

If you can imagine that kind of simple humanity, with no agenda, and it’s not about abortion, it’s about just BEING-- if you can imagine that sort of cooperation, and listen, without knee-jerk reactions, without fear................

We can get a lot further faster better maybe if we swim without boots on.

:loveya: :evilgrin:

Justin Currie
Del Amitri - Driving With The Brakes On
Album: Twisted

When you're driving with the brakes on
When you're swimming with your boots on,
It's hard to say you love DU
And it's hard to say you don't