Chertoff was locked out of the DHS office building for hours today!

[napi21]

Just heard this on Bernie Ward'ss show. Apparently, DHS had a new security system installed because they believed the building wasn't secure, but Chertoff was the only one who knew the code to gain entry, and HE FORGOT IT! He also had a security question, but he forgot that too!

Bernie said Chertoff was still locked outside of the building at 2:30 this afternoon!

Bernie is rolling on the floor laughing, and SO AM I!!!!!!

[upi402]

1. makes good sense to lock him out

monkeys could do better

[tyedyeto]

2. ROTFLMAO!

He forgot the codes?????

And he is entrusted to keep our country safe?

[napi21]

4. Actually, we're probably better off with him locked out!

At least he can't do anything disasterous from the sidewalk!

[aquart]

3. Damn.

I hoped you were going to tell me it was to execute a warrant on his office.

[The_Casual_Observer]

5. It's a damn good thing that Osama wasn't chasing after him

with an anthrax bomb or something today!!!

[arcane1]

6. damn, if only that could have meant something...

starts with an R, ends with a TION

[rodeodance]

7. funny, thanks

[Withywindle]

8. Yet another demonstration of the futility of satire. n/t

[NYC]

9. So, everybody was locked out of the building?

If Chertoff was the only one who knew the code, everyone was locked out of the DHS building.

Unless everyone else got in before the code was changed. Did he knock?

Doesn't this make you feel secure?

Edit: Who needs The Onion?

[Swamp Rat]

10. LOL!

You know, you are right. I haven't read the Onion for quite a while (not that I don't like it).

It's just that (sur)REALITY is much more entertaining these days. :D

[Pachamama]

25. Sometimes, Truth is stranger than fiction...

So, for a short while today, the homeland actually was secure....

:hi: Swamp'r!

[Swamp Rat]

31. Way'at Pachamama!!

:hi: :hug:

[Pachamama]

34. Back at'cha Swamp Rodent!

:hug:

[BR_Parkway]

21. They don't work there 24 hours? So, terrorists are only allowed

to attack us between 9 and 5? There should be a warning sign around these people - Keystone Kops isn't even enough.

[rumpel]

11. this so funny. I have a tummy ache from

:rofl:

thanks, I have had a really trying day dealing with the financial institutions. This made my day. Now I can go to bed. karma works in wonderous ways.

[burythehatchet]

12. This can't be true

If it is, Jon Stewart can do a 3 hour special on it.

[Tsiyu]

13. And some of us worry that these people will "take over" allof us

:rofl:

I picture Chertoff standing outside the door, his fly open, drooling and scratching his head.

[file83]

14. "Security Question"? He's Chertoff! Let him in! Are we to believe he

had to make a phone call to ADT or some shit? Don't tell me the DHS is outsourcing their security systems to private contractors. Please don't tell me that.

The Director of DHS can't get into his office, but highjacked airplanes can hit the Pentagon. George Washington just rolled over in his grave.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

18. Actually, yes, they are... I think I read

that Wackenhut provides security for the old Naval Comm Station where DHS is located.

which is, for those of you who don't know, Nebraska Ave and Mass Ave, NW, Washington, DC

does that make me a terror suspect?

[C_U_L8R]

15. Skeletor should have his own

skeleton key

[MADem]

16. Well, get a load of THIS!!! Covert operators listed on the WEB!!!

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/13032006/323/cia-personnel-offices-easily-found-internet.html

CHICAGO (AFP) - The names of CIA personnel, including covert operatives, internal telephone numbers and locations of two dozen CIA installations can be found through Internet searches, a US newspaper reported.

Through online services that provide public, legally obtained information for a fee, a reporter netted a directory of 2,600 Central Intelligence Agency employees and 50 internal phone numbers, according to a Chicago Tribune investigation.

The Chicago daily also discovered the identities of CIA operatives assigned to US embassies in Europe.

At the request of the CIA, the newspaper did not release the names of the operatives. It did quote an unnamed source saying CIA director Porter Goss was "horrified" at the discovery....

This guy is as incompetent as Chertoff! Ya gotta ask yourself, WHO in this administration IS, in fact, competent? I think we're down to the person who makes the wee cowboy his peanut butter sandwiches, and the grounds crew at the WH....

[katinmn]

20. Oops!

:+

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

17. it was probably hacked by the DOD cabal

that is too funny.

almost as funny as McClelland and the Army of the Potomac being stuck in the mud in the Civil War

[kanrok]

19. Who says Homeland Security isn't effective now?

What a hoot.

[AllegroRondo]

22. I hope someone emailed the Daily Show

and Olbermann!

[eppur_se_muova]

23. Hilarious...but I was hoping it was a hint that he should "spend more time

with his family."

YER DOIN' A GREAT JOB CHERTY!

(It had to be said :evilgrin:)

[mb7588a]

24. the hilarity is in the plausibility. nt.

[Justice Is Comin]

27. He probably didn't know the door

opened --- in.

[proud patriot]

26. way to go chert

:eyes:

[leftofthedial]

28. heck of a job, Chertie

[Generic Other]

29. That is funny but scary

That guy is as incompetant as...well...as all the rest of them!

[NastyRiffraff]

30. Hard to tell these days....

Which stories come from The Onion and which are real.

Soon, The Onion will publish real, true stories like this one and no one will know the difference.

Some jokes just write themselves.

[in_cog_ni_to]

32. OMG! They're all a bunch of BUMBLING IDIOTS!

:rofl: He forgot the code and password and didn't have the presence of mind to right it down for safe keeping?:rofl:

[spacelady]

33. "Whassup?" Chertoff - "I forgot the code" Pssst what's the code?

Chertoff, "I forgot, man c'mon let me in!"
Security, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
Chertoff, " I AM the Director."
Security, "No, Man that's not it."
Chertoff, "I AM YOUR BOSS!!"
Security, "What's the code?"
Chertoff, "You are Fired!"
Security, "Not even Close."
Chertoff, "YEEEEAAAARRRGH!!!"
Security, "You're getting warmer!"
Chertoff, "I'm coming in anyway, you asshole"
Security, "BANG"

[Garbo 2004]

35. Source of story: Andy Borowitz's satire/humor column. It's satire.

Unless, that is, one believes this also happened:

As of late this afternoon, Mr. Chertoff was still standing outside the building waiting to gain entry after a locksmith who was called turned out to be from Dubai and had to be sent away.

Mr. Chertoff also declined Vice President Dick Cheney's offer to shoot off the lock on the building for fear that Mr. Cheney might hit the Department of Agriculture building across the street.

Borowitz's column here: http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_32799.shtml