It hurts to be outcast

[undergroundpanther]

Another reason why social dominance ruins human beings..



Children who are ostracized by their classmates are more likely to withdraw from activities and score lower on standardized tests, U.S. researchers say.

Peer-group rejection also can lead to long-term psychological damage -- a problem that affects boys and girls equally, says Eric Buhs of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.

"We're talking about kids whose classmates don't let them sit with them in the cafeteria," Buhs told The Washington Post. "This is what happens when a whole group demonstrates, 'We don't want you around.'"

http://www.physorg.com/news11790.html

[newswolf56]

1. Thanks for posting -- not that I didn't already know this, but...

others need to read it on their pathways to developing empathy: the first step toward meaningful socioeconomic reform.

[Syrinx]

2. a major revelation

From the Duh files. (I'm not criticizing undergroundpanther.) It's just that I could have told you the obvious without any big "study."

[Greyhound]

5. See, that's where you're wrong. We don't know anything, until it's been

studied and approved by "experts". :sarcasm:(just in case)

[undergroundpanther]

6. I know

I just think it's validation that's all.
For everyone who is a jerk trying to excuse themselves by claiming it's the victims fault for being too sensitive,this is backing the victims up.

[Syrinx]

8. I agree

It's good to have the data to back up the obvious. It's just sad that we need to back up the obvious. It would be better if the obvious were accepted, and the phd's could concentrate on things we don't already know. Hope that makes sense... it's getting late. ;)

[H2O Man]

13. I think the value

is for communicating this to those who are in the playground gang that picks on the victim. What may seem obvious to the victim, and to those standing outside the picture, should never be assumed to be equally obvious to everyone. Oh that it should be, but it very simply is not. And that includes many in the gang, as well as the adults who are tasked with supervising the playground.

[NMMNG]

3. While I already know this from my hellish childhood,

It's something that cannot be overstated to those who do the bullying and ostracizing, or to those who allow it to continue.

[undergroundpanther]

7. And this is why I posted it.

To people hurt by bullies it is obvious..to the fortunate who never felt the sting of bullying ,if they want to really become compassionate,they need to become sensitized to these issues.

[unschooler]

10. I think there are precious few, if any, who survived 7th grade w/o

getting to experience being ostracized or bullied at least some of the time.

[undergroundpanther]

4. Cyber bullies people finally realize they harm too.

Next time someone is a jerk on DU,and gets "snarky" at someone,personally..and makes someone a target..The "bully joker" should realize they are actually hurting someone else with thier 'snarking'.To sensitive people this is obvious,but to people less sensitive and more prone to obliviousness about others feelings it isn't.Science is beginning to validate the need for empathy and sensitivity in our actions and in our speech.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Online bullying taking a toll on kids
Bullies are found as much in cyberspace as on the playground, a survey found.
According to a study by Internet group MSN, more than 10 percent of British teenagers said they have been bullied online via instant messaging and e-mail.

Moreover, 44 percent of those surveyed said they knew of someone who had been bullied in cyberspace, while about one-third said bullies were actually hacking into the e-mail accounts of their targets.

http://www.physorg.com/news11788.html

[unschooler]

9. It does hurt, and adults need to stop turning a blind eye to

this unacceptable behavior. Kids do this because parents, teachers and other adults who wouldn't dream of letting them break the school dress code or use the wrong fork at the dinner table seem to think there is nothing they can do to stop this sort of antisocial behavior. In my imaginary school (where I am the Supreme Ruler), kids who do this get to sit next to the unwanted target of their rejection at lunch every day for the next month!:evilgrin:

[DoYouEverWonder]

12. I am lucky that at least one such school exists

My son attends a very small private alternative school. The big number one rule that is taught from the first day you walk through the door is that no 'put-downs' are allowed. No one is allowed to do harm to anyone else. Any transgression is quickly dealt with. It is amazing the difference it makes when the adults refuse to allow kids to be mean to each other.

At one point, I took my son out for a year to attend a special charter school for kids with reading disabilities. The difference was night and day. The safety patrol kids were the worst. After numerous threats from a safety patrol kid, I told my son to go to a teacher next time it happened and to get some help. The teacher asked him, "what do you want me to do about it?" Needless to say, I had a major fit and my son soon went back to the 'good' school. Thank god they go from K through HS and we don't have go back to the real world any time soon.

[unschooler]

15. You mean adults actually expect and get decent behavior from kids?

But I thought kids were hardwired to be jerks.... :sarcasm:

Actually, your son's school sounds WONDERFUL...!

[nicknameless]

11. I posted this link months ago.

It is the very best source I've come across regarding bullying and the damage it causes.

http://www.bullyonline.org

On the left side of the webpage, there's a section on "Bully Injury": How bullying injures your health, understanding psychiatric injury, stress, denial, trauma, PTSD, self-harm, suicide.

There is a tremendous amount of information at that site, plus additional helpful links.

It is my opinion, that if bullies knew about the harm they cause, they wouldn't care.
They're cowards and sociopaths (no conscience & no remorse). Harming/intimidating others gives them a sense of power.
It's the responsibility of society to provide the negative consequences.

[sweetheart]

14. shakespeare understood that

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.

-shakespeare sonnet 29