Contraception leads to homosexuality

[LiviaOlivia]

Thursday, March 16, 2006
Contraceptives: Satan's Own Frito Pie

Mary Worthington
No Room for Contraception

Dear Miss Worthington,

I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled upon your organization's website this evening. Unlike other members of the forced childbirth lobby, you aren't afraid to talk about the evil of non-procreative sex and the invention that made it possible, contraception.

I have always believed that the advent of sex-for-fun was the catalyst for such societal evils as "the nooner" and "the quickie," but I must admit that I hadn't considered the relationship between contraception and homosexuality until I read your article. It certainly makes sense. Once sex was separated from procreation, it was inevitable that men would succumb to homosexuality's siren song.

I am disappointed , however, that you did not address the relationship between masturbation and contraceptives. Certainly, this is another practice that can be tied to cultural changes that occurred when sex-for-the-hell-of-it became acceptable.

I think that's why so few men do as I do and store their spermatazoan-Americans in mason jars down in the cellar. The advent of non-procreative sex cheapens the value of their squiggly little sperm-baby lives to the point where the average man thinks nothing of murdering billions of them during the time it takes to watch an episode of Dragnet.

~snip~

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2006_03_12_patriotboy_archive.html#114248630833345744

[NVMojo]

1. WTF!?!?!?! LOL!!!

[underpants]

5. Recruiting "top drawer blacks" for the GOP

Adele Fergusen
Kitsap Peninsula Business Journal

Dear Mrs. Fergusen,

I think you answered your own question about why black people aren't flocking to the Republican Party. If, as you point out, slavery was a godsend to them, then surely, they're still angry at Lincoln, the first Republican president, for freeing them. If it wasn't for him, they'd still be enjoying all of the fruits slavery had to offer, things like: hand-me-downs from the big house; forced breeding; free scarification; the joy that comes from seeing your children selected for housework or sold to a master who doesn't beat them during rape; and the comfort that comes from knowing one's place in the world.

[sutz12]

2. I guess Bill Maher was right.....

the real reason they are against same sex marriage is that they think it might be more fun.

[Warpy]

10. They obviously think it's more addictive than heroin

and if they ever try it, they'll never be able to go back to the wife.

[RazzleDazzle]

28. why do you think it's called homoPHOBIA??? Eh?

It's not that homosexuality is in and of itself SO attractive (for those who aren't gay), but rather that those who are closeted (even -- no, make that especially -- from themselves) have a very difficult time hadnling the temptation.

Seriously.

Wish i'd have kept the article, but a decade or more ago there was an article in one of the big city newspapers about a study wherein they hooked some men up to sensors of some type and showed them homoerotic pictures. Those who were most anti-gay were the most aroused by the homoerotic material. True. Somebody ought to look that study up.

[InvisibleTouch]

29. I read that same study.

I don't have a copy of it either, but I know the one you mean. Makes a lot of sense, if you think about it, given that so many people can't accept themselves as they are.

[RumpusCat]

12. This is the only logical answer

I mean, gays aren't afraid of being lured away by heterosexuality--in fact, the ex-gay organizations make it sound like a huge daily battle to resist the gay urgin's! It just makes me wonder how humans managed to survive and reproduce this long without everyone sucumbing to Teh Gay and just going buck-wild. :shrug:

[FlaGranny]

13. Hey, they're just trying to

suppress their own homosexual urges. They believe everyone must have them, if they do.

[BR_Parkway]

36. That's why they scream so loudly that it's simply a choice - my reply

is always to ask them 1) how many times a day they have a homosexual urge and 2) how often are they successful at "choosing" not to act on it

Boy, you talk about being able to hear a pin drop in the silence after that one...

[FlaGranny]

37. Good one! n/t

[cali]

3. Love it.

k&r

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

4. Do these people know ANYTHING about ancient cultures?

Non-homosexual men had sex with other men quite frequently and centuries before contraception.

[northernsoul]

20. Do they know anything about ANY culture at all?

They don't need none of that fancy book-learnin', filling folks' heads with facts and whatnot.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

21. Good point.

:thumbsup:

[ChairmanAgnostic]

27. sure thing. In fact, there is a yogurt company starting up down the road.

Oh wait. You meant something else?

[northernsoul]

35. Yogurt?! Ain't that French?

I done heard that eatin' yougrt'll turn you queer.

</sarcasm>

[blogslut]

6. Jesus' General

Best. Blog. Ever.

[depakid]

24. The guy is brilliant

Some of the best satire on the web.

[karlrschneider]

7. Um, I think your satirometer needs calibrating

:D

[gollygee]

8. HAHAHA

oh god that's funny.

I'm guessing gay people don't worry too much about contraception.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

14. not true, 2 gay males result in ultra-gays. 2 Females? = Ann Coulter

Ergo, if anything, contraception is even more important for gays.

Ultragays are also known as stealth gays. They have magical powers. They sneak into cafeterias and spread their gay genes to others simply by touching salt shakers and paper cup dispensers. They also are known to beam gay thoughts into unsuspecting catholic priests causing the innocent priests to attack young children who act too sexy. lastly, simply by seeking equal protection under the law, ultra-gays beam even more evil ideas into good x-tian families, and exert mind control over them. This causes the good people to divorce, have affairs, abuse and beat their spouses, drink cheap beer and belch and fart simultaneously while driving their pick-ups to a country and western bar.

Of course, two women cannot love each other. Nor can two men. It says so their bible. Just ignore those parts about David claving his lover, etc.

[havocmom]

9. So, how come all the homosexuals came from STRAIGHT UNIONS

where birth control was not used or failed? :evilgrin:

[jmowreader]

30. Their dads never showed them their penises

Didn't you hear James Dobson? "If you want to raise your son to be not gay, shower with him and show him your penis. This way he will know that because his father has a penis and his father is not gay, his son will know that it's not okay to be gay."

I don't know about you guys, but I would think that if I wanted my son to grow up to be not gay, I'd start showing him all the pictures of vaginas I could get my hands on, so he'd get interested in them. Showing your son penises? Sounds counterproductive to me!

[havocmom]

31. Your approach makes a more sense than Dodson's.

But, some guys like brunettes and showing them a lot of pictures of blonds won't seem to change their preference. Some guys like blonds, some prefer brunettes, some prefer guys. I fail to see a problem with any of it. ;)

Dobson thinking he can 'make' a heterosexual is Dobson with his head up his own ass ;)

[varkam]

11. I just read Fergies article on slavery...

She opens up by referring to her "black brothers and sisters". You tell 'em, boo.

[CatholicEdHead]

15. WTF?

This makes no sense at all.

:wtf: :wtf:

[PleadTheFirst]

16. "Spermatazoan-Americans" - LOL!!!!

[unblock]

17. isn't it interesting how homophobes insist homosexuality is so SEDUCTIVE?

homosexuality's siren song????


this is so revealing of their own repressed homosexual desires, and their inability to cope with that other than through hatred.

[varkam]

33. Hit the nail on the head. n/t

[Ioo]

18. "spermatazoan-Americans" You are sick!!! ROFMAO (NT)

[Bridget Burke]

19. Could this be "satire"?

[genieroze]

22. Should change sites name to sickboy. lol

:wtf:

edited to add, I had to bookmark that site. Does he really send these out or does he just post them on his blog? The other letters gave me a chuckle too.

Love this pic

[blogslut]

25. He sends them

Sometimes he even gets answers. His Amazon book reviews are pretty fabulous as well.

[genieroze]

26. I wonder if these wing nuts take him seriously. lol

[Canuckistanian]

34. He's been sending letters out like this for years

Picture a sexually warped Bob Boudelang who is trying to agree with the nuttiest of the wingnuts.

[Canuckistanian]

23. Ah, the General

I would recognize his writing anywhere. He's an expert on "little soldiers" even though his is AWOL.

[Deja Q]

32. You mean, if not for procreation, all men would be honkin' the horn?!

Snorkelin' the sausage?

Spittin' seed!?

That writer needs to be medicated far more than I do.