STUDY: AMBIEN USERS INVADE COUNTRIES IN THEIR SLEEP

[Call me Deacon Blues]

Wake Up With No Memory of Reasons for Invasion, No Exit Strategy

A mounting pile of anecdotal evidence suggests that users of the popular sleep medication Ambien may invade countries in their sleep, and then wake up with no memory of the reasons they invaded, according to a study released today.

The study, conducted by the University of Minnesota, attempts to shed light on a little-known side effect of Ambien, in which users who are fast asleep go on country-invading binges.

More: http://www.borowitzreport.com/

Now I understand!

[NVMojo]

1. hmmm, don't use Ambien but I did have a nightmare recently in which

we were under bombing attack because of Bushfucker.

[MadMaddie]

2. Funny that is a nightmare I had...

[Pirate Smile]

3. "no treatment ...You just have to wait, and after eight years it’s over."

"The University of Minnesota study highlights several other troubling side-effects of Ambien, such as the tendency of Ambien users to concoct incomprehensible prescription drug programs while asleep.

"They wake up having no memory of creating these prescription drug programs and are unable to explain how they work," Dr. Logsdon said.

In what is perhaps the most disturbing revelation in the study, Ambien users may give away control of U.S. ports to foreign interests while totally unconscious.

"Unfortunately, there’s no treatment for these destructive sleep episodes," Dr. Logsdon said. "You just have to wait, and after eight years it’s over." '


The Onion and Borowitz seem too close to reality during this Administration.

[madinmaryland]

4. AMBIEN USERS INVADE VOTING BOOTHS IN THEIR SLEEP

..George W. Bush was re-elected president in 2004.

Could that be the reason it happened?

:tinfoilhat:

[Ian David]

5. And no memory of briefings about levee breaches or planes as weapons

[Fiendish Thingy]

6. So does Bush take Ambien?

I know his father and James Baker used to take Halcyon to deal with jet lag, until it was taken off the market due to psychotic side effects...

[enough]

7. Actually, Colin Powell once said that "everybody takes Ambien."

It was in an interview where somebody asked him about jet-lag. He said he uses Ambien to sleep on planes, but it's no big deal -- "everybody takes Ambien."

Sorry I don't have a link, but I remember it clearly (haven't taken any Ambien that I can remember).

[PA Democrat]

8. Perhaps the Bush administration's heavy use of ambien has more to do

with their guilty consciences than jet lag. Oh wait, thAt would presume that the murderous bastards HAVE a conscience.