Letter to A Child I Haven't Met Yet

[ulysses]

I posted this three years ago this month and hadn't read it since Christopher came to us until today. Rings even more true for me today.

To my child:

It will be years before you read this. The fact is that you're not born yet, maybe not even conceived. I don't know when we will get the call from your birthmother asking about what kind of people we are so, waiting, I imagine what kind of person you will be.

And I wonder what kind of world it is into which you will be born and raised. As I write this, our country wobbles on the edge of an unjust war, our economy is a wreck and the freedoms that I and all the adults who will know and love you were raised to expect are being eroded. By the time you read this, the very water you drink could be sold to you by a company far away that cares only about profit. I try to be hopeful about the future, but right now I'm fearful.

I understand now how some folks can want to not bring a child into a world plagued by war, but I can't share their feelings. To be honest, your mother and I need you. There is something basic in people that hopes for a better future, and you are, or will be, the embodiment of that for us. The knowledge that there are hundreds of thousands of children in Iraq this morning who represent that same hope for their parents, yet who are sick for lack of medicine or in grave danger of being killed when this invasion starts, keeps me awake at night.

By the time you read this letter, all this will be either ancient history or part of your current reality. You will have your own set of issues as you become conscious of the world around you, and with luck, we will have raised you to be a questioning, thinking person, capable of getting past the fog of dubious news and opinion with which we are bombarded every day. No matter what I say as I get older and crankier, hold on to your dreams and what you know to be right and never, ever let anyone tell you to shut up and sit down.

Love,

Dad

[wicket]

1. Beautiful, thanks for sharing

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

4. Kicked and recommended. It's been a long time ago since 1968,

and I recall thinking these sorts of things to myself as I went through my pregnancy with my daughter, now 37 years old -- the kind of a world am I bringing a child in to when so many people were assassinated in just a short period of time (Martin Luther King -- Malcolm X -- Bobby Kennedy as well as JFK back in 1963, just a month before I was married to her father.)

Now my daughter and son-in-law have two wonderful children of their own who live in the same town. I also had a son in 1969 who is now married to my beautiful daughter-in-law, and they have two boys of their own in Utah.

I'm again thinking of all of the pain and the death in this world and wonder if it has all been worth it. Maybe these twelve people would have been better off not knowing what it is to live in this corrupt world under this sham-of-a-government that doesn't even have a clue as to what's up ahead.

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated. The photos of the dead children in today's news were horrific. I'm still cringing just thinking about all of the world's problems that America is contributing to under this sick government.

Stay calm. That's what I'm trying to do.

Radio_Lady in Oregon

[ulysses]

9. your daughter is my age.

I was thinking of the pictures that came out yesterday of those children when I found this post. :(

[RubyDuby in GA]

2. This sounds amazingly like a discussion my husband and I had

not too long ago. Thanks for reposting this. I didn't see it the first time.

I have no doubt in my mind that Christopher will be raised to be a questioning, thinking person. How could he not be with two such loving, kind-hearted, good people raising him?

:hug:

[ulysses]

3. thanks, hon.

:hug: How's Carter Dean? :D

[RubyDuby in GA]

6. Large and in charge!

He likes jelly beans and popsicles - together. And don't get between me and an ICEE machine - it could be hazardous to your health. I keep telling myself: it's just 13 more weeks, 13 more weeks....

:)

ps. Your post made me cry. It was wonderful - just what a dad should be saying to his new son now.

[ulysses]

7. I'd never heard of an icee fixation.

:D Glad y'all are doing well.

[jbnow]

5. Christopher and every precious child

and adult who brings more love in the world matter so much.

The world is crazy now but even in the best of times bad things can happen.

In bad times...love is all the more important. I can't express this well. But thanks for sharing.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

8. Thanks, Uly. K&R

Nicely done.

[ulysses]

10. hey, man!

I meant to comment on your thread about your sister the other day. Nicely done back to you. :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

11. That was beautiful.

I think Christopher has two very caring parents who will teach him to think for himself, to care about others, and to care about the world in which he lives. Bless you, your wife, and your beautiful child.

[tomreedtoon]

12. Your child is now a low-paid menial worker...

...because the children saved from abortion will be employed as domestics, garbagemen, cannon fodder for the Iraq War and other low-paid jobs, as long as they accept being paid wages lower than the illegal immigrants. See this post:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=679095&mesg_id=679095

[ulysses]

13. yeah, I saw that.

Idiot repukes.

[lostnfound]

14. So beautiful. Thanks. nt

[ulysses]

15. thanks.

and you're welcome. :)

[CornField]

16. Ulysses, you made me cry first thing in the morning

:hug: What a beautiful and honest letter.

I have journals for each of my three children. I don't write in them each day, but try to add something at least once a week -- something cute they've done, developmental milestones, my thoughts on life, my belief in them and in the world. I recently started letting my oldest daughter (14) read from her first book. She'd been feeling depressed, unloved and heading through those rocky teenage years. I think the journal provided her a window into something that is so hard to adequately express otherwise -- that we love her beyond reason and without condition.

I hope you continue to write to/for Christopher. I don't think there is anything else which can touch a child more deeply.

Thanks for sharing!

[ulysses]

17. thanks.

I've got a journal started for Chris, but I haven't written anything in it in a while. I need to get that out this weekend.

[CottonBear]

18. I just read your "Letter to A Child I Haven't Met Yet." I'm crying.

What a beautiful letter. Christopher (beautiful boy!) is so very lucky to have you both as loving parents. He is a special and beloved child who is so very fortunate to have found you and Mrs. Ulysses.

My own father died, suddenly, when I was 17. I have no such letter from him. We were a typical conservative, Southern, Presbyterian famly, We didn't show emotion or share our true feelings with each other. Such a shame and such regret. I never said (that I can remember) "I love you" to him before he died. I didn't know he would die in surgery. Children don't think of death. They always have hope.

Christopher is so very lucky: he has you both as loving parents and guides. He and both of you are blessed and are so fortunate to have found each other. Never forget to tell each other you love each other.

Peace. CB

[ulysses]

20. hey, CB

Thanks for posting about your dad. I can't imagine losing a parent so young. Cheryl lost her dad four years ago, and even at the age she was then the loss is fresh.

Peace to you, my friend.

John

[CottonBear]

21. Being a dad will be the most important & special thing you ever do.

Christopher will be in awe of you. You will be his man, his dad and you and Cheryl will be his most important people in his life.
You are both so very blessed to have a son who is is so precious and loved. Let him know that.

I am so sorry to hear about Cheryl's dad. It does not matter when one's dad passes, it is never easy. Cheryl, please know, that, with time, he will draw closer to you. At first, he will seem so far away. However, with time, he will draw closer to you and sit on your shoulder and in your thoughts. It may take many years. He will always be with you. Just think of him and talk to him (I do to my Dad.)

Peace. Kim

[Kukesa]

19. Kick! nt