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"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark to read." Groucho Marx
Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Unknown
“You’re all perfectly safe, by the way. I took off my shoes at the airport. The terrorists hate the smell of feet." Kurt Vonnegut
"Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear." -Harry S. Truman
"Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth." - Roberto Clemente
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” GW Bush Aug. 5, 2004
America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable. -Hunter S. Thompson
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." - H.L. Mencken
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt, The Kansas City Star, May 7, 1918
I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for. -- Howard Dean
Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph: Haile Selassie
"Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him." : King Baudouin I: King of Belgium
Remember: With passion and the right attitude, anyone can cook. Wait, that's "play punk rock." Never mind.
"Never eat more than you can lift" Miss Piggy
"Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!" -- W. C. Fields
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." Groucho Marx
"Once you let go of the need to express your thoughts to your family, you suddenly feel much lighter," Wilmot said. "You just float along blissfully, finally liberated from the burden of having any presence at all. It's sort of like getting to return to the womb. Which is way more enjoyable than trying to explain to a tableful of Celine Dion fans why you can't stand her." The Onion
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means "put down."-- Bob Newhart
"Why do we have to live in the dumb country? Why can't we be the hip country? Why can't we be one of those countries where the President has a permanent tan, expensive suits, a Versace mistress and there's pictures of them screwing on a boat but nobody cares because that's amoré? Why can't we be that country instead of the one with the midget dating show." Bill Maher
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla. -- Mitch Ratcliffe
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. -- August Strindberg
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx
"Over?..Nothing is over until we decide it is...was it over when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor?"-J. Belushi
"...the differences between the conservative and the radical seem to spring mainly from their attitude toward the future. Fear of the future causes us to lean against and cling to the present, while faith in the future renders us receptive to change. " - Eric Hoffer
"When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong you cannot be too conservative. " - Martin Luther King
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy: that is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith economist and author
"All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been effeminated by position or nature, born halt and blind, through luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence; Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear." -William E. Gladstone
"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead." -Leo C. Rosten
"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid." Richard Braunstein
Thomas Jefferson wrote in 1798, after one of his defeats, "A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt... If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake."
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