This was Sent to me by... My Republican In-Laws??!!

[Dem Agog]

Actually, they're not quite my in-laws. I don't know what they are. My husband's sister married a Republican. His whole family is Republican, but they all seem to be nice people, so best my husband can figure out, they're just painfully stupid. Anyway, his mother sent this to my mother-in-law... And all the Republican-in-law wrote was:

"I don't usually send these on but this is funny. - Sue"

My mother-in-law (my husband's family are all intelligent and decent, and therefore Democrats, two were just stupid enough to marry Republicans) just forwarded it on to me with, "And this comes from a Republican! Maybe there is hope! Mom"

I wonder what it all means. If Sue believes enough of this to find it funny then what the f--k are she and her family members doing voting for *?



What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad
guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then
demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health
care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the
best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense,
but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is
solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for
your recovery.

Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will
be born or who might be born( in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing
orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other
people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. those are pretty funny, especially the one about the UN sanctions.

Great stuff.

[KingFlorez]

2. Is this a good sign?

Republicans usually go crazy when they get that kind of stuff, not forward it

[Iris]

13. Unless they are so stupid they think it all make sense.

[TahitiNut]

15. That's what I'm betting. Reichbots read it and feel affirmed!

It all makes sense to them and, instead of seeing the contradictions, feel it's like a Party Platform! :evilgrin:

[Iris]

16. Glad I'm not the only skeptic around here!

[Flirtus]

3. i got it, too

from an elderly gay man.

Either your 'relative' thinks it's funny and doesn't understand it OR we can only hope they are beginning to see the light.

[Bozita]

4. Superb! ... Now sending emails

[The Backlash Cometh]

5. "My husband's sister married a Republican."

LOL!

[Dem Agog]

9. We still love her...

We only question her choice in men. Sad thing is, he's truly a nice guy. And he really seems to like me. I like him well enough, but I just can't respect him because of who he blindly supports.

We were talking about this last night (my husband and I) and the best we can figure is that he's such a nice guy, and so eager to please, his family is filled with Republicans so he just became one himself without truly thinking what he was supporting. And you know, old style/old school Republicans (back when they truly were fiscal conservatives, etc.) aren't the same as this new breed. But slapping the same label on a totally different horse seems to have slipped past these folks.

[TAPat]

6. I think your husband is right

they are just painfully (and dangerously) stupid! :)

[salin]

7. Not to be a wet blanket

it could just be that it was sent to her - and she forwarded it to someone she thought would appreciate it - whether or not she agreed with it.

Then again if she found it appalling, or hitting to close to home, she wouldn't have sent it at all - so it could be hopeful.

[Dem Agog]

8. You might be right...

But she did send it to a number of people, not just my mother-in-law. Who knows?

I am amused, and yet utterly befuddled.

[salin]

10. sent more broadly is a good sign...

more than a 'gift of a laugh' to my 'token dem friend'. Perhaps she is part of that big shift among GOPers that is now uncomfortable with their pres and congress - to the point of finding ridicule - funny. A big step towards being able to break away to, at the least, independence and split tickets when voting.

[KharmaTrain]

11. It's Getting to the "We Really Didn't Mean It" Time

Lately I've heard a number of my Repugnican acquaintances (can't really call them friends cause I could never trust 'em) start playing the "well I didn't expect him to be this bad" or "this isn't what I voted for". Call it boooosh fatigue or boooosh buyer's regret...but the rats are jumping ship and trying to find a way to do it that makes it look like it wasn't them that was wrong, but booosh (it's what he would do, wouldn't it???).

It's like we're supposed to ignore all that's happened in the past as though all these troubles manifested by Repugnican rule just came from Mars or was caused by the Clennis (even though I'm glad to say that meme is finally starting to play out). They still claim Democrats have "no answers"...but won't shut up long enough to listen. Now that the shit is hitting the fan, they are now saying that we didn't yell loud enough. Screw 'em all.

As I told a nice lady in virginia last night...anyone who voted for boooosh last year is immoral. They knew the war was based on lies, the economy was being savaged and they still voted for 4 more years of this corruption and destruction. Sorry, there's preciosu little these people can do to help the situation than to STFU!

[man4allcats]

12. Thanks for this. I have forwarded the portion in bold type to

my worthless Rethuglican senators John Cornyn and Kay Bailey Hutchison and to my worthless Rethuglican congressman John Culberson. What can I say? I just couldn't resist. :evilgrin:

[texpatriot2004]

14. What a great list. Funny and true, unfortunately nm