I Wonder What Kind Of Message I'm Sending To The Troops (Onion)

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46234

March 13, 2006 | Issue 42•11

I support the troops from the bottom of my heart. But my question is, do they know that? What if I'm somehow sending them the wrong message?

The other day I lost the magnetic yellow ribbon from my car, and I didn't even notice until my neighbor pointed it out. Just think: It could have fallen off days or even weeks before! And there I was: driving up and down all over town just as happy as you please, all but announcing, "Jane Merrick doesn't support our troops!"

I went to the gas station to buy another magnet right away, but they were sold out. So here I am without one. And the way everybody is around here, they'll talk. What if this gets back to the troops somehow?

Or take the other night when my husband and I were watching Leno. He cracked this wiseacre one-liner about the president, and it just busted Ted and me up. Then suddenly, we both trailed off and stared at each other in ominous silence. I'll admit the joke seemed harmless enough, but just imagine those poor soldiers, covered with the arid dust and sand of a foreign land, huddling for cover, engaging in pitched small-arms firefights with enemy insurgents on a daily basis. What would they think if they saw me sprawled out on the living-room sofa set, eating pretzels, cackling with irreverence at the expense of their commander in chief?

...

[Skinner]

1. Brilliant.

The Onion: :thumbsup:

[mdmc]

3. another onion lover

checking in

[raccoon]

2. Thanks for the link. Onion rocks. nt