Only in America

[Catherine Vincent]

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes and candy bars at the front.

Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. While contemplating surgery for being to fat.

Only in America..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Plus hire a rent a cop with a gun that would make Barney Fife look like Dirty Harry.

Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America.....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Don't forget screws in three's and nails by the dozen.

Only in America..do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

I chuckled on some of them. :-)

[jeff30997]

1. LOL! Good stuff.

:)

[Midnight Rambler]

2. Also, the word "monosyllabic," isn't

n/t

[Minnesota Libra]

3. Thanks for the smile - I will indeed pass it on nt

[walldude]

4. Whose list is this? Sounds like George Carlin or

Lewis Black.. great stuff here...

[Catherine Vincent]

7. A friend of mine emailed it to me.

I'll have to ask where he got it from.

[omulcol]

5. Thanks for that ...

Made me ... and the wife ... smile all the way through !

:hi: :hi:

[sakabatou]

6. To answer this question:

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

That material is fucking heavy. There is no way a stock plane would get off the ground if it were made from that material.