SP Scientology Episode: I figured out the real reason...

[jmowreader]

the Scientologists are going batshit.

It's not because Parker and Stone are portraying Tom Cruise as a lunatic. Everyone knows that already.

It's because they come just a hair too close to the truth about Scientology's recruitment practices.

I gave up trying to watch it after 10 minutes or so (because YouTube's QuickTime videos don't sync the audio and video on my machine) but here's what I saw:

1. Cartman ridicules Stan for not wanting to spend money on entertainment, all Stan's friends abandon him
2. Stan accepts the offer of a "free Scientology personality test"
3. The "free personality test," in which innocuous questions such as "do you sometimes like to whistle for fun?" are asked, determines that Stan is a mentally-screwed-up little boy and only Scientology can cure him
4. Stan is required to get together a couple hundred dollars for a Scientology auditing session

After that it gets far-fetched, but right up until this very second, the whole show has presented proforma Scientology recruitment doctrine: find someone who's basically okay, tell them their life is shit unless they join the Church, then bilk them out of all of their money.

If you were one of the high officers in Scientology, would you want this getting around? Well, neither would the people who run Scientology.

[Beelzebud]

1. The whole section with Xinu is true Scientology stuff too.

The part about the galactic overlord and the aliens being dropped in a volcano, only to possess our souls thousands of years later, is all true scientology "teachings".

I mean, it's not a burning bush, virgin birth, and resurrection, but it's pretty far out there.

[flyingfysh]

2. a good source for information on Scientology

is www.xenu.net, "Operation Clambake". The clam reference is due to the idea that people evolved from clams. Scientology has tried to shut down this web site, without success.

[Javaman]

4. So I'm guilty of cannibalism????? ahhhhhhh!!!

dickheads.

[Canuckistanian]

8. I thought ex-members were called "clams"

I read "A Piece of Blue Sky" and I thought it was a derogatory term.

[pitohui]

3. you missed the best part

most of the show seemed to be an excuse to say, "mr. cruise, please come out of the closet" about 900 times

they also had a long episode with a notice "scientologists actually believe this" while they describe the usual theta/alien/volcano crap

i think the episode bordered on the libelous once cruise, travolta, and r. kelly get in the closet and i wouldn't have written the story to slam individuals in that way, but i guess they're legal since they're public figures, don't much blame cruise for going over-the-top tho

but this show the little i've seen of it is always mean-spirited so maybe if i were cruise i would have just ignored it and not given them the publicity or the attention they're obviously seeking

i think he and scientology make a big mistake by paying any attention to this type of humor

if your beliefs can't stand a little black humor then how strong are those beliefs really?

[flyingfysh]

5. another blog ran into trouble over this stuff

The "far-fetched" stuff about the space alien Xenu is considered an "advanced spiritual secret" of Scientology, for which you have to pay many thousands of dollars.

Some of this nonsense was quoted on slashdot.org (a technical site for computer nerds), and Scientology used legal threats to force slashdot.org to remove the posts.

[immoderate]

6. I got the scientology questionnaire twice.

Both times I got rejected. I hear nobody gets rejected. Am I too screwed up for scientology?:shrug: I thought that wasn't possible.

--IMM

[unblock]

10. more likely you're not suggestible/gullible.

they're not going to waste their time on someone who's more trouble than it's worth.

[sendero]

7. I think you are right...

.... back in the late 70s a close friend was approached, along with his wife, by a scientologist. They did the test, and then dude says, you need $300 for the next step. My friend said "hey, I don't have that kind of money laying around" and the dude says "don't you have something you can hock?".

It was at this point that my friend realized this was a scam. He told the dude "no thanks".

[spag68]

9. scientology

I don't know if you are aware, but all this crap was concieved by a sf writer L Ron Hubbard. His books are barely worth reading.
, he just wasn't that good.

[eppur_se_muova]

12. And he created it as part of a WAGER with John W. Campbell Jr.

Campbell believed a lot of 'paranormal' or 'psi' claims (ESP, telepathy, teleportation, etc.). This led to arguments among the inner circle of SF writers about just what it was and wasn't reasonable to believe. Hubbard insisted that he could INVENT a religion and have thousands of followers within 10 years (IIRC, I may not have the details right). So basically he was saying that people are so gullible you can get them to believe anything, as long as you make an enticing story out of it. This was a rebut to Campbell and others who argued that "so many people" wouldn't believe in psi if there wasn't something to it. So Hubbard invented Dianetics/Scientology, and proved his point that people will swallow anything -- which proves that this is a bad line of argument to take (but which doesn't DISPROVE psi, in the strictest logical sense -- just shows this line of argument is not proof). Hairsplitters will know the difference.

Now, does someone want to clue the believers in on this?

[walldude]

11. Any religion that demands money is full of shit.

Period.

[Coexist]

13. Truthfully... since that episode - every time I pass a "Stress Test" booth

for Scientologists, I burst out laughing - so do my kids.

The people at the tables are never too pleased - my son (the smartass) will make a "C'mon Stan" comment.

They know. They know.