Cheney's suite demands - from thesmokinggun.com

[terrya]

Make sure that DECAF coffee is being brewed, dammit! :eyes:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0322061cheney1.html

[Skidmore]

1. Too freaking important to push the buttons on the remote.

However, this explains why he never seems to know what is actually happening in the world--watches Fox all the time.

[Maddy McCall]

2. It's just too funny that his TVs must be on Fox.

That's just so, well, expected.

[grytpype]

9. What else, Nickelodeon?

[Nomen Tuum]

3. What, No Gun?

Shocked, I tell you, I'm just shocked...

[tanyev]

4. Diet Caffeine Free Sprite?

Isn't all Sprite caffeine free?

[soothsayer]

14. yep

[DemonFighterLives]

5. he deserves handcuffs and a trip to the Hague

Don't forget the birdshot and a disposable friend.
GFY cheney!
:argh:

[madokie]

8. not a dam thing less

and make sure the cuffs are real, real tight. Bastard he is.

[Squeech]

6. WTF

All lights turned on?

The Vice President of the Oil Administration wants to contractually require you to waste kilowatts?

What a guy!

[notadmblnd]

7. have all the lights turned on?

Don't tell me this monster is afraid of the dark?

[meganmonkey]

11. I'm guessing it's a security thing?

Dunno :shrug:

[1932]

19. it's a spend money on energy thing

that's how he gets rich

[Lerkfish]

12. no, Asmodeus doesn't want to reveal his true form to the underlings

[Virginia Dare]

10. Dicky boy has to have all the lights on...

Afraid of the dark, you know. What if the temperature is 67 degrees or 69 degrees? Does somebody's ass get fired?

:puke:

[AAARRRGGGHHH]

28. Nope

Somebody's ass gets shot. I heard that Harry Whittington only had 3 bottles of water in his fridge and, well, you know the rest ...

[Canuckistanian]

13. LOL

Mrs. Cheney's H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers.

I'm surprised that this document wasn't classified immediately.

I hope the Iranians aren't seeing this....

[bridgit]

15. "decaf", are you shitting me; he acts like he's popping crank & crack...

soaked espresso beans :rofl:

[im10ashus]

16. It's so funny to see the words "Cheney" and "Smoking Gun"...

...in the same sentence.

:rofl:

And what's with all the lamps? :shrug:

[Sammy Pepys]

17. More modest than I thought, honestly.....

Though I imagine USSS probably handles a great deal of his official stuff. He can probably do it all on Air Force 2 anyway.

[4_TN_TITANS]

31. I too was surprised at the modesty

This in no way seems unreasonable for someone in his position, even if it's a little quirky.

As for me,

1. joints pre-rolled on dresser
2. chilled Jack Daniels in the refrigerator.
3. no less than two playboy bunnies, one in bedroom, one in parlor.

etc.

:rofl:

[Lochloosa]

18. Perrier Water for the wife.....huhhhh shouldn't that be Freedom Water?

[Catchawave]

20. I'd like to see Bush's suite demands .....

heh.heh.heh.

[trof]

21. Left out the box of 20 ga. birdshot shells.

[Buns_of_Fire]

22. Not really all that outrageous -- but they left out page 2...

where it calls for the still-warm heart of a freshly-killed virgin.

[izzybeans]

24. It Must be beating, served with fresh garnish, some rosemary, thyme

and a hint of black pepper.

That and the Perrier seem fitting.

[phusion]

25. and the spinal fluid of 6-week old infants n/t

[progressoid]

23. Fox is his version of PPV Porn.

[trof]

26. Anybody know what a "Super Volunteer" is?

"Please also make sure that someone on the team or a Super Volunteer (on radio) is there to receive the motorcade on arrival."

Are the Super Volunteers the guys who pose as Fox News people and/or Secret Service agents?
Just wondered.

[lebkuchen]

27. Our military in Iraq would have been happy w/uncontaminated H2O

Cheney's Halliburton provided them with water roughly 2x the normal contamination of untreated water from the Euphrates River.

[DearAbby]

29. "And I dont want those damned danty mints on my pillow either"

Cheney was caught growling..."I want my own lambs wool blankie too"

"Where's my shotgun?"

[LynneSin]

30. Look what happened to the last guy that gave him regular coffee

[The Witch]

32. Oh! Emm! Geeeee!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

all TVs turned to FOX NEWS, DAMNIT!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

THANK YOU for posting this!!!!! My daily happies are accounted for!!