Dick Cheney's Suite Demands:Sprite, 68 Degrees, Fox News, Extra Lamps

[kpete]

Dick Cheney's Suite Demands
Veep's "rider" requires Sprite, 68 degrees, TVs tuned to Fox News

MARCH 23--After posting the performance contracts of artists like Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, and U2, The Smoking Gun has finally obtained the backstage demands of a real rock star. That's right, below you'll find a copy of Vice President Dick Cheney's standard "tour" rider. The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol's "Downtime Suite" needs to be outfitted. While the vice president's requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite. And when Cheney is traveling with his wife Lynne, the second family's suite needs an additional two bottles of sparkling water. Mrs. Cheney's H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers. The document, prepared by the vice president's advance team, was obtained by TSG after it was provided to a hotel employee prior to a Cheney visit. When we asked Cheney spokesperson Jenny Mayfield about the document's reference to gifts that hotels might leave in the suite for the vice president, she told us she was unable to address that question since she had not seen the "downtime requirements" rider (she asked for a copy, which we declined to provide in advance of its publication here). At our source's request, we've blacked out the handwritten name and Washington, D.C. phone number of a Cheney staffer. As for the notations regarding extra lamps, specific newspapers, and a carafe, it is unclear whether they were added by an advance team staffer or a hotel official.



http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0322061cheney1.html

[Atman]

1. No wonder he thinks the war is going well!

"All televisions turned to FOX News"

:rofl:

What a "Dick."

[wordpix2]

2. Love It! We need more of this "private info." See how Dickie likes to be

spied on! hahahahaha

[savemefromdumbya]

3. You mean he's incapable of switching lights on

he's more disabled than I thought!

[brainshrub]

11. If you helped kill as many people he has,

wouldn't you be scared of the dark?

[QuettaKid]

16. I read that and first thought was he is

just a-skeered of the dark. BOO!!

[Skidmore]

24. All that wasted energy.

[Mad_Dem_X]

4. Ha! I was just about to post this!

Fox News only...big f'ing surprise.

[sharp_stick]

5. That's not as bad as I expected

That would be really easy to set up. The every tv tuned to faux isn't a surprise, what the hell else would quickdraw watch?

I worked for my University entertainment committee and some of those bands were outrageous. Weezer, still a mediocre band IMO demanded, not requested triple ply toilet paper. They damn near refused to show when we told them that we couldn't find it. We had to remind their manager about the contract a couple of times.

Another band, I forget who, demanded a certain brand of potato chip that was not available in our region so we had to FedEx them in and the assholes never even touched them.

[hexola]

7. Really...So what...?

I dont really see what the big deal is...

Rock bands put that stuff in riders to make sure people are reading them!

[shain from kane]

6. No brown M & Ms. They all must be green, the color of

money.

[Canuckistanian]

8. What? No Borg-type charging station?

Defib machines? Iron lungs? Hypebaric chambers? Oxygen tanks?

He must carry all that stuff with him.

[Stephanie]

That microwave could mess with his pacemaker!

Couldn't it? :)

[janx]

9. The location of the ice machine...

is always important! ;-)

[Botany]

10. It is real! Boy how long before this goes nuclear on the internet.

I just called the #

"V.P. advance this is Dan."

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[TAPat]

12. Dickie's afraid of the dark!!!! nt

[Botany]

17. That does make sense ....

.... for security reasons alone. But still what a greedy bastard ...... he is a frigging
millionaire and wants gifts? What possible material good could he still want and or
need.

These people really think they are Kings.

Clinton spent the night in a hotel not far from my house and I know people who
worked there and said the he was truly a nice guy and spent time with the staff
being a nice guy.

[Blust8]

Diet Caffeine Free Sprite?

Isn't all Sprite caffeine free?

[MilesColtrane]

13. Where is the request for the blood of young virgins?

And, what the hell is a "Super Volunteer"? ....someone willing to donate organs?

[wicket]

14. The Pampered Prince of Darkness

n/t

[shain from kane]

21. Jabba the Hutt n/t

[shain from kane]

22. Who disclosed the "undisclosed location"?, n/t

[Bushwick Bill]

15. "Gift" is code for whore.

;-)

[LeftNYC]

18. When not on "downtime"

Mr. Cheney likes a shotgun and a few beers.

[Rob H.]

19. No basket of live puppies for him to snack on?

He must bring those along himself.

Too funny (and typical) that the TV has to be tuned to Fox News, The Offical Propaganda Arm of the Bush White House™.

[northzax]

20. perrier?

that's FRENCH, ain't it? why does Mrs. Cheney hate America? Why?

[Ganja Ninja]

23. Can someone please tell me what the hell is a Super Volunteer?

Is that like someone you can shoot in the face and then they apologize?

[Botany]

25. They look like this:

google republican women

[shain from kane]

26. Where's her purple heart bandaid? n/t

[underpants]

27. Here is that nasty skank

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

28. Covering up the canker sore on her

chin from sucking ass

[Javaman]

29. And one crashcart. nt

[Chiyo-chichi]

30. God forbid he should have to touch the remote control

and flip around to find Faux News. He might get a disease from the commoner who stayed in the room before him.

[JackBeck]

31. 68 degrees???

He better start cranking up that heat because I hear Hell is a tiny bit warmer.