It's The Media's Fault!

[Caoimhe]

I have no idea who the original author is, but I found this rant to be especially appropriate for Dubya's "happy horseshit" tour! (found it on a yahoo message board and another slightly different version here http://bradsbrain.blogspot.com/ Sorry if you've all seen this before but it begs to be read!

It's the Media's fault!

"It's the liberals. It's the ACLU. It's Clinton. It's Monica. It's the "climate of permissiveness". It's France. It's the liberal media. It's Clinton's p*nis. It's Hillary. It's Gov. Dean. We never could have known they'd fly planes into buildings. "No actionable intelligence". They didn't tell us to do anything. O'Neill's lying. Clarke's lying. General Shinseki's lying. The Union of Concerned Scientists is lying. Our own weapons inspector David Kay's lying. Wilson's lying. John Dean's lying. Newsweek lied! CBS lied! Everyone's lying but us. We had to lie. We never lied.

Plame outed herself. Her husband outed her. The liberals outed her. No one outed her, since everyone already knew her covert identity. Rove had nothing to do with it. No comment. Lib'ral, lib'ral, lib'ral.

It's the libs trying to pull Schiavo's feeding tube. It doesn't matter that DeLay pulled his own dad's feeding tube. "Culture of life". It's Janet Jackson's boobs; it's the Statue of Justice's boobs. Reading the news might cloud my judgement. It's the "decade our government...blinded itself to our enemies". It's the homosexuals wanting to marry. "Restore honor and dignity to the White House". A decision to go to war wasn't a decision to go to war. "No actionable intelligence". It's the pledge of allegiance. They're taking God out of America. Osama didn't tell us when, how, where, and by what means he'd attack, and he didn't leave a forwarding address. The 9/11 panel is biased against us. Saddam = Al Qaida. Saddam = Al Qaida.

Chalabi's an honorable man and I believe everything he says about WMDs. Chalabi's a crook and he passed secrets to Iran. Chalabi's the liberals' fault because they didn't shoot us when we started using his "intelligence". Chalabi? I don't know any 'Chalabi'!

It's just a few dead-enders. They'll be gone when we capture Saddam. They'll be gone when we capture Saddam's sons. They'll be gone when we hand over "sovereignty". They'll be gone when Iraq has elections. They'll be gone in 12 years. They'll never be gone.

We fight them in London so we don't have to fight them, er, uh, well, can't get fooled again!

Bolton didn't lie! He just knowingly gave incorrect answers under oath.

Aw, so what's another ISLAMIC STATE in the mideast? It's not like Bush has made it a home for terrorists or anything!

No one could have anticipated that a category 5 hurricane aimed directly at New Orleans would have destroyed it! No one could have anticipated that they might need federal assistance quickly! Of course no one's in charge of accepting the generous aid offered by other nations -- isn't that the mayor's responsibility? Being a judging supervisor for the Arabian Horse Association is ample experience to head FEMA! It's the mayor's fault! It's the governor's fault! It's Howard Dean's fault! It's CBS's fault! It's the Monica Crime! Ted Kennedy killed Mary Jo! Libtards killed Terry Schiavo! Wah! Wahhhhhhh!

It's all these former staffers hawking their books. Money never corrupted anyone. "I'm a uniter, not a divider!" It's the stem cells. It's the feminazis, the intellectual elitists, and the ecoterrorists.

It's Cthulhu. It's the martians.

It's anyone but Bush."

I have some more to add.

It's Harry's fault, he walked into the shotgun blast. The deficit is not a problem. Let's raise the debt ceiling. The record setting deficit is the Democrats fault! It's the culture of death. It's abortion..erm I mean murder! It's just Bush Bashing. It's cut and run. Flip and Flop. Up or Down. It's the Blame America Firsters! Get a brain, morans! Why don't you join Al Queda if you hate America so much? You must support the President in war time. Big Screen TVs being looted! Aruba Aruba! It's all because of nineleven. You don't want to get attacked again do you? I am the war president. I am the peace president. I didn't want war. It's Cindy Sheehan's fault!

It's not a civil war! Insurgency! Sectarian Fighting. It's the terrorists fault. They hate us for killing those who hate us for killing those who hate us for killing those who.. um.. make pies in the sky directly over the horizon. Give me a second here to collect my thoughts. It comes down to this. Radical, foreign born jesus-hating lesbian fundamentalists, whose goal it is to recruit terrorists that Tony Blair did, didn't know about to operate secret prisons. I mean, no I didn't say secret prisons. What secret prisons? We don't torture. We need to be able to torture. Yellow Cake. Patty Cake. Wow, Brazil is big!

[JeffR]

1. Love your additions

Yellow Cake. Patty Cake.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thread of the week, IMHO.

[Caoimhe]

2. Thanks

it's sortof like beat poetry in dubya-ese. Guess everyone else has already seen it. Or maybe some pretty white girl is missing in Peoria.

[JeffR]

3. I have a post on my journal

Near the bottom of the page, about John Kerry and dubya-ese.