Don't GLITCH On Me: Provide the Caption for this Picture and Win $100

[Land Shark]

GLITCH: It can be another word for a crash, or the iceberg's tip of an election fraud, it can take the place of a malfunction or a defect, or obscure a major programming error, but it carries NO BLAME. Glitch happens, you might say with a shrug. Most often, it appears to describe our elections, whenever the corporate media cover the problems in our elections.

GLITCH is a cover-up of one or more of the above. It's used when SNAFU (Situation Normal All Fouled Up) just won't do to obscure fault. Even the phrase "an under-documented software "feature"" in place of glitch carries with it a tinge of satire or sarcasm. Not so, with glitch. Glitch makes what right wingers cartoonize and misunderstand as "moral relativism" look like black/white Calvinism. Glitch accepts every defect just as it is, makes fraud welcome, forgives all error and incompetence, and embraces maximum corporate profit (under the circumstances).

A LOT of us are sick of GLITCH. Of the doublespeak it connotes. Of what it does with our votes. So sick in fact, that I suggested to the distinguished DU member (and computer professional) Glitch that "Don't Tread On Me" really ought to be updated to 2006 to say "DON'T GLITCH ON ME". Because, truth is better. Accuracy is better. Vivid words make superior writing. And glitch, let's face it, sucks.

Glitch obliged, with this wonderful piece of art, and we need your help with a CAPTION, to make this into T-shirts, golf-shirts and so forth. We need people to understand the sense in which we use the word Glitch on this graphic. If you can provide that for us, you get a free Glitch T-shirt, and a $100 prize. So, your nominations, please!! (and for those in need of further inspiration, below are some web-links to help contemplate the many dimensions and interstices of "glitch" from music to art to dictionary definitions.) Assuming we've a winner here, shirts will be in the color of your choice, and are $10 plus any special S/H. Proceeds over cost go to the organization of YOUR choice, should you choose to specify one. (Prob $1-2 per shirt) Email: [e-mail]




LINKS ON THE NATURE OF GLITCH IN ART, MUSIC, POLITICS and CULTURE (the common element appears to be "skull-numbing" and disorganization)

http://www.beflix.com/ (view some Glitch art)

http://members.aol.com/juxtaposal/glitch.htm (listen to music by the band Glitch – describing itself as “skull-numbing, hard-hitting, orgasmic yet sensual and emotional dark Industrial psychedelia goth-industrial electro-core…. From the darkest corner of Dixie, Birmingham, AL.” TRUTH?: It's coming, it's dark and it's skull-numbing....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glitch_(music) (glitch is a genre of electronic music)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glitch (glitch is “a short-lived fault” in a system…. also, “The practise of exploiting glitches in video games is known as "glitching." For example, in an online game someone may use an error in the map to get an advantage. This is sometimes considered cheating, but sometimes just considered part of the game.”)

Webster's Dictionary:
GLITCH
One entry found for glitch.
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps from Yiddish glitsh slippery place, from glitshn (zikh) to slide, glide; akin to Old High German glItan to glide -- more at GLIDE
1 a : a usually minor malfunction <a glitch in a spacecraft's fuel cell>; also : 2BUG 2 b : a minor problem that causes a temporary setback : SNAG
2 : a false or spurious electronic signal

WORD HISTORY: Although glitch seems a word that people would always have found useful, it is first recorded in English in 1962 in the writing of John Glenn: “Another term we adopted to describe some of our problems was ‘glitch.’ ” Glenn then gives the technical sense of the word the astronauts had adopted: “Literally, a glitch is a spike or change in voltage in an electrical current.” It is easy to see why the astronauts, who were engaged in a highly technical endeavor, might have generalized a term from electronics to cover other technical problems. Since then glitch has passed beyond technical use and now covers a wide variety of malfunctions and mishaps.

http://www.wired.com/news/evote/0,2645,65609,00.html (E-Voting Glitch Gives Bush Votes, ----yes, even excellent e-voting reporter Kim Zetter has used this word)

[bleever]

1. "Get your thumb off the scales of Justice!"

[elehhhhna]

60. I checked. Not a thumb. It's a boot.

[Land Shark]

2. Four votes for Greatest, but no replies, C'mon, let's see some comments

if not outright nominations..

on edit: bleever saved the day. Thanks bleever!

[Nothing Without Hope]

3. K & R #5 - Maybe could put a ballot under the snake?

Too many younger Americans may not recognize the historic "Don't Tread On Me" flag, but those who do will appreciate this. Well done!

I do hope you can put a ballot under the snake, as if it's defending it. The edge of the paper ballot could curve up and say "ballot," and maybe there could be a box with an X in it for a vote? Just a thought. I'd hate for the message to go over the heads of people who don't recall that flag.

[Wilms]

9. What ballots?

We're trading them in for glitch generators.

[Land Shark]

11. story is glitch, after they're done 'splainin' that, ain't no room left

for anything else

[Land Shark]

13. a good idea to get a ballot in the picture, thanks Hope

[bleever]

4. "Votes: Machines read 'em, we weep."

[bleever]

5. "In God We Trust. Voting Machines...Not so much."

[Land Shark]

7. In God we trust, all Others we Audit

per an amaryllis ER thread

In God We Trust, In Elections We Audit

[alittlelark]

12. "In God We Trust. Electronic Voting.. not so much"

I just changed one word... The original was great too.

[bleever]

15. I like yours better.

[Land Shark]

16. a good nomination, only "in God we trust" never appeared in america

until after the civil war, and not until well into the 20th century did it become widespread on money (though i think it started in the late 1800s on money) One disadvantage of this nomination is conflating and making part of the "Founders" the phrase in God we trust.

[bleever]

17. I respectfully

think you're right.

:thumbsup:

[Land Shark]

18. I'm afraid I am forced to concur! ; )

[alittlelark]

43. Quite True..... but I'll bet 85% of our citizens don't know that.

[understandinglife]

6. K&R. Oh, and if anyone is interested at what is at stake ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=738841&mesg_id=738841

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=738841&mesg_id=738841

... that is, if you want your children to be able to breath and eat ...


Be The Bu$h Opposition - 24/7

[MissWaverly]

8. The public is a sheep to shear, but if you insult it, it's a wolf

a little saying from Boss Tweed who went down over the Tamany Hall scandal in NY,
Thomas Nast portrayed him as a money bag with a body, there's a great Nast
cartoon of Boss Tweed and his cronies all standing in a circle pointing to the one
next to each one, the caption reads "Who stole the people's money-Twas him!"

[Land Shark]

10. Elections officials/Vendors believe the public can't be trusted to know

how their votes are counted. Kind of an insult to the public, isn't it?

[MissWaverly]

86. I have been thinking about this

What commercial vendor would sell a product that was so frought with problems and then
launch it on such a scale as these individuals have done, there has to be fraud and trickery
involved here. This is a true insult to the America people and a breach of contract. We
want our money back and we want our votes back.

[bleever]

14. "Private voting systems: no receipt, no guarantee."

[eridani]

19. I'd like to add "logic and accuracy testing" to the list of bullshit terms

John Washburne pointed out at the Portland conference last fall that real programmers call "logic and accuracy testing" function testing, and that function testing is only one part of a comprehensive testing plan that reasonably stable and secure software ought to be subject to.

"Function testing" doesn't sound as impressive, does it?

"Glitch" and "logic and accuracy testing" need to be consigned to the same hellhole as "partial birth abortion" and "assault rifle." All are terms specifically introduced into public discourse for the sole reason of spreading obfuscation and bullshit.

[Land Shark]

20. Glitch: Propaganda for the 21st Century

[Nothing Without Hope]

21. Two phrases - ABOVE the snake (which is hopefully guarding a ballot):

"Defend US Democracy"

BELOW the snake:

"With Voter-Verified PAPER BALLOTS"

The two phrases could be on antique-looking long scrolls curving above and below to enclose the snake image.

[Land Shark]

24. great idea on defend democracy

I might add "Don't replace checks and balances with "Glitches""

but that maybe too many words and a bit subtle

[Nothing Without Hope]

30. I think the "glitch" in the image itself is enough and doesn't need to

be repeated in the slogan surrounding the image.

"Voter-verified paper ballots" is, of course, Andy Stephenson's mantra and says it all IMO. The "Defend US Democracy" part is to wake people up to what is at stake and to express that it's worth fighting for. It would also parallel the image message if the snake were guarding a paper ballot.

Still a bit concerned that many will not recognize the "Don't Tread on Me" flag image and will be perplexed by the snake, usually a malignant symbol, and the yellow background, usually a symbol of cowardice or of bad journalism. But good for older Americans, who grew up with that image in their American History courses. Need a different image/slogan for young Americans who probably don't have that same image recognition/response.

[fearnobush]

22. Verify Voting, Or Die.

Nuf said.

[Land Shark]

26. Verify Democracy or Die

otherwise who gives a shit if you verify your own vote and they add a whole bunch or convert all the undervotes?

[Botany]

23. Glitch

GOP Likes It's total Control Hammer

[babylonsister]

25. "You too may have had your vote glitched!"

The word glitch is interesting and one I remember my parents using, but maybe not that many people
have heard of it. The word itself might inspire conversation!

[Land Shark]

Hey Dick!! (Cheney): Go Glitch YOURSELF!!

or just "GO GLITCH YOURSELF" (don't glitch on me in graphic of course)

[EC]

27. Democracy's a bitch, ain't it? ...

or how about: We're on to you and we can do it better....

[sandnsea]

28. GlitchGate

Glad we're finally getting the focus where it should be, the preponderance of glitches that never get investigated. Computers glitch for a reason.

[rman]

29. Glitch - my ass

Unless they're all glitching in favor of some progressive dem candidate this time around. Which they haven't done so far, on the contrary.

[Land Shark]

33. Or, Glitch off

When is someone going to step up and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for all these glitches?

Where's the sense of honor?

[Starfury]

31. "Nip this Glitch in the bud before it bites you in the...."

[Wilms]

32. You won't call it a "glitch" when Democracy is dead.

[Land Shark]

34. Glitch=Dead Democracy. Nobody wants to be a downer, though

[rman]

35. "plausible glitchability"

"Plausible deniability" is the term given to the creation of loose and informal chains of command in government, which allow controversial instructions given by high-ranking officials to be denied if they become public.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plausible_deniability

[Wilms]

36. Glitch is Plausible Deniability n/t

[Land Shark]

37. Plausibly glitchable, in any form a good nomination

[Land Shark]

38. Don't Glitch... One Malfunctioning Democracy Can ruin a whole History

[Melissa G]

39. Gltch is a just another word for vote theft...

Or Glitch is just another word for election fraud

[Kurovski]

40. "Glitch=Switch: Don't Have Your Vote Cast Aside"

"Glitch=Switch:Keep The Vote You Cast"

"Machines Don't Kill Democracy, Glitches Do"

"Machines Don't Kill Votes, Glitches Do"

[Land Shark]

44. If the glitch is on, the switch is on

[EVDebs]

41. Don't farkel on me !

Farkel has been used since the Laugh In days on TV. To 'farkel' something up, as Bush Co. has done takes special effort and planning. This goes beyond mere old English "F" word for agricultural planting of seed references. Maladicta would be too severe and become censored easily. I propose the benign and effective use of FARKEL.

[mia]

42. Glitch means never having to say you're sorry.

:kick:

[EFerrari]

45. kick

[Zan_of_Texas]

46. Computers crash....

Computers crash.
So do democracies run on unverifiable computer voting.

Don't Glitch On Me!

[Land Shark]

47. Excellent choice, this one has LandShark running to his computer

to shorten up the middle line just a bit

Computers Crash
Democracies Crash on Computer Voting
Don't Glitch on Me!

[autorank]

48. Glitch -- Gore Lost It To CHickenshits....thats a major Glitch, maybe

even a SNAFU...Shameful Neocons are Fucking Up.

It's all whatever...

Planned glitches and savvy snafus make for our current dilemma.

Recommended

[bleever]

49. "No Representation without Verification."

Right?

[skids]

50. Life's a glitch, when you Diebold. (and more)

Suffer not a glitch to vote among you.

glitch switch which reich

One glitch, two glitch, red glitch, red glitch

under the ballot box, past the judge's nose, nothing but glitch

[Land Shark]

64. Seuss is what you mean? One glitch, two glitch, red glitch, blue glitch,

a glitch in time, saves nine?

Democracy:
Election's are a glitch, then you DIEbold

[skids]

78. Yes, Seuss. But no, "red glitch, red glitch"

That part was intentional :-)

[Usrename]

51. Rage Against the Machine

there's a song in there, I bet

[annabanana]

52. Are you a Good Glitch? Or a Bad Glitch?

Don't Glitch the Vote!

[Land Shark]

85. reminds me of the good witch and bad witch in the wizard of oz

which is a good metaphor. DON'T LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!

off to see the wizard,
Land Shark

[Festivito]

53. Don't rattle my recount.

OTHER SIDE OF SHIRT:
Vote smartly; count accurately; verify surely: always transparently.
Or, fight viciously.

[LunaC]

54. “ Democracy Not Dystopia"

Dystopia - state in which the condition of life is extremely bad, as from deprivation, oppression, or terror.

[KarmaCorn]

55. "(Don't) Kiss My Glitch!"

[KarmaCorn]

56. "On the Shores Of Lake Glitchegloomy"

[Land Shark]

66. I can dig that, I'm on the shores of gitchee gumee right now

Let's have a short reading, shall we? Keeping in mind that Longfellow was inspired by the rhythm and meter of the Finnish language, and the Finnish national epic, the Kalevala. No glitches in this poem, wonderful paper too.


Hiawatha, a Poem by Longfellow

Should you ask me,
whence these stories?
Whence these legends and traditions,
With the odors of the forest
With the dew and damp of meadows,
With the curling smoke of wigwams,
With the rushing of great rivers,
With their frequent repetitions,
And their wild reverberations
As of thunder in the mountains?


I should answer, I should tell you,
"From the forests and the prairies,
From the great lakes of the Northland,
From the land of the Ojibways,
From the land of the Dacotahs,
From the mountains, moors, and fen-lands
Where the heron, the Shuh-shuh-gah,
Feeds among the reeds and rushes.
I repeat them as I heard them
From the lips of Nawadaha,
The musician, the sweet singer."

{…}

Ye who love the haunts of Nature,
Love the sunshine of the meadow,
Love the shadow of the forest,
Love the wind among the branches,
And the rain-shower and the snow-storm,
And the rushing of great rivers
Through their palisades of pine-trees,
And the thunder in the mountains,
Whose innumerable echoes
Flap like eagles in their eyries;-
Listen to these wild traditions,
To this Song of Hiawatha!

[KarmaCorn]

57. "Do You Have A Glitch In Your Gitalong?"

or "Do You Have A Glitch In Your Hitalong?"

[KarmaCorn]

58. "Are You A Good Glitch, Or A Bad Glitch?"

[KarmaCorn]

59. "Ding Dong, the Glitch Is Dead!"

[KarmaCorn]

61. "Glitchcraft!"

[Land Shark]

67. The Blair Glitch Project?

[KarmaCorn]

62. (On ballot) "Don't Shred On Me"

[mod mom]

63. Don't Glitch on Me/VERIFY THE VOTE.

Sorry I came into the game late and the goods ones have all been stated.

[Land Shark]

65. Don't Glitch On Me: But Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

[Land Shark]

68. As "Glitch" is a meaningless word, the possibilities are endless!

[JunkYardDogg]

69. GLITCH HAPPENS !!!!!!! PHEW!!!

No Brainer

[Land Shark]

70. Electronic Elections: When Glitch Happens

DON'T GLITCH ON ME!

JunkYard Dogg may be on to something

[mod mom]

71. Hey JYD, haven't seen you round these parts lately, welcome back!

[JunkYardDogg]

73. I was Abducted by Space Aliens

Freed by Extraordiary Rendition of Space Sunnis spilling the beans

[Land Shark]

80. You mean you were glitched by space aliens?

[mod mom]

90. Is glitching a form of probing? nt

[mod mom]

89. Cool, did you run in to Sun Ra up there?

[JunkYardDogg]

95. I was taken to Planet Glitch by the Glitchons

They are ruled by King for Life IdiAmen RaRa W the Fog of War God
Held captive in their capital, Rapture D.C.

[JunkYardDogg]

72. "E-Voting-Snakes In, Snakes Out"

[JunkYardDogg]

74. "E-Vote Glitches-Between Being and Nothingness"

Maxed out Existentialism

[JunkYardDogg]

75. E-Voting Glitch Slapped Democracy Dead

N/T

[Land Shark]

81. E-Voting: A Glitch Slap to Democracy

[JunkYardDogg]

94. That's Good

You can Dance to it
Got a good beat
Good Harmony

[JunkYardDogg]

76. E-Vote Machine $3,500, Rigged, Corrupt Elections Priceless

Who wants to be a Millionaire

[JunkYardDogg]

77. "E-Vote Glitches-Fast Track to Totalitarianism"

N/T

[Patsy Stone]

79. Machine glitches = vote switches n/t

[Land Shark]

82. no glitch = no switch. until they get good at it

[Melissa G]

83. G.L.I.T.C.H.....

G OP or (George)
L eaves
I nstallation
To
Corrupt
Hackers

[Land Shark]

84. D.L.C. C.H.U.C.K.L.E. Democrats Laughingly Compromised ....

Chuch Hagel Understands Congressional Knowledge Lacks Enthusiasm

[Melissa G]

97. GOP Leaves It To Computer Hackers

My Husband said i blew it.. this was the correct thing he suggested..

[The Straight Story]

87. Pull my lever ya glitch (More)

They got the vote 'OUT' with a glitch in

My glock beats your glitch

I went to vote and all I got was this lousy glitch

vote out evoting

got glitch?

[Land Shark]

88. Yeah, lotsa people in elections got GLITCHY RIGGER FINGERS

Your glock beats my glitch, perhaps, but my glitch cleans your glock, and I gotta glitchy rigger finger

[The Straight Story]

91. Paper trail or vapor trail? (nt)

[JunkYardDogg]

93. Perfect

Dat's a Guud Won

[The Straight Story]

92. Your vote is like gilligan's island, full of castaways (more)

Your e-vote never dies, it just glitches away.

E-Voting is like a box of chocolates, you never know who you're gonna pick

E-voting, random number generators, lottery. See the pattern?

This your vote on an e-voting machine----->

[Land Shark]

96. Don't Glitch on Me: Glitch Your Own &*$!% Vote

[bleever]

98. "How do you know you really voted?"

And really, after I posted "No Representation without Verification" I expected everyone to rise up unanimously and demand I immediately get the hundred damn dollars.



:rofl:

[Land Shark]

99. No Representation with Voter-Verification?

[bleever]

100. No Representation without Documentation?

BTW: LMAO over response #18.

:thumbsup:

[Land Shark]

103. No Certification without Public Verification

[The Straight Story]

101. Give me my vote, or give me death (nt)

[JimDandy]

102. E-Voting: The Air Apparent n/t

[Land Shark]

104. Yup, the Air Apparent to Democracy

[roseBudd]

105. Computers count the votes so no one can see...

They sat **** won, I say prove it to me

[Land Shark]

106. Prove it, indeed

[kster]

107. Scanned Vote Counts + Hand Vote Counts

Scanned Vote Counts

+ Hand Vote Counts



Fixes the glitches.