"I am So F*ing Angry" by Me

[Katherine Brengle]

I know we've all been going back and forth on this stuff for weeks, but tonight, I had an epiphany:

I am So Fucking Angry

I am watching If These Walls Could Talk (I've seen it before, but I just bought a copy and am watching it for the first time in a few years), and I am having a very strong reaction to it, unlike I have in the past.

When I first saw it, I responded emotionally, but the conclusion that I came to in the end was that we (women) absolutely deserve the RIGHT to an abortion.

Tonight, I started crying so hard (on the third story, the one I can most relate to, mostly because of her age) that it hurt. I was lying on my living room floor sobbing so hard I thought I was going to vomit...

Add to this the reading I have been doing lately, and I am having a really hard time figuring out how I feel.

In my tear-stained haze, this is the best I can do to describe how I am thinking right now... I am so angry.

I am so fucking angry that any woman in the history of the world has had to choose to have an abortion.

I am so fucking angry that I have been told my entire life that I am not good enough, that my body is nothing but a source of shame and filth, something that must be hidden and deodorized and kept discreet and "fresh"...

I am so fucking angry that when I was pregnant with my daughter, I hid it every day for 8 months because I didn't want to hear the inevitable bullshit that I would have from other people as a 22-year old unwed mother-to-be.

I am so fucking angry that I felt the need to even consider having an abortion when I found out that I was pregnant because I didn't think that the society I live in would accept me if I had a baby while I was still in college.

I am so fucking angry that I felt the need to run from my car to Hollywood Video last night because I have to live in fear every single day and night that I will be raped simply because I am a woman.

I am so fucking angry that we women allow this to continue.

I am not angry that men let it continue. I am angry that they do not fully understand, but it is not for them to give me power. My power comes from me. My power comes from the generations upon generations upon generations of women who have come before me, and from the generations to come after I am gone.

Our power should come from a feeling of community. Women standing together shoulder to shoulder, reclaiming the respect and dignity that we deserve.

We vowed to "take back the night" but we never took a good long look at the big picture. We need to take back our lives. We need to take back what it means to be a woman, and stop letting society and government and corporations tell us what it means to be a woman, how to be a woman, how to do it right...

I am so fucking angry, so angry...

What I don't understand is, why doesn't everyone care? Sometimes it feels like... why doesn't anyone care?

[niyad]

1. We care, believe me, WE care-- there is an old saying, "if you're not

angry, you aren't paying attention." a lot of us pay a LOT of attention, and have been working for years on all the issues you mentioned.

women have endured almost unimaginable hardships, just to get to the point we are now--losing our rights every time we turn around, the bad old days coming back again. I keep thinking of the words of a Holly Near song, "Fight Back" (the chorus)

Fight back, in large numbers
Fight back, I can't make it alone.
Fight back, in large numbers and
together we can make a safe home.

[slingsam]

2. i care............

Don't be afraid to be angry........

after which............

you need to find happiness around you!(it's there)

[stellanoir]

3. Oh sweetie

You own your body. Never forget that.

Don't let the legislators or the Pharma dudes or the religious simpletons ever convince you otherwise.

I empathize with your angst.

Just don't let those suckers get you down hon.

Your body is sacred and you know it far better than the "guys without uteruses" who think they have a clue.

Your neighbor to the south.

Bless you dear,

[Katherine Brengle]

7. It's not even just about the abortion issue...

and it isn't really about men...

I want to know when women stopped loving themselves, and each other.

Where did the concepts of sisterhood and companionship and somebody's got your back and a shoulder to cry on and all that go?

Where did it go?

I have never, not once in my entire life, experienced these things... I am 24 years old and I have no idea what it really means to be a woman... only what I have been told by society...

I once called the police on my upstairs neighbors, because I was fairly certain that the woman who lives up there was being beaten up by her husband. I was too afraid to go up and see for myself, which I think is understandable, but I was too scared to ever go up and talk to her, invite her and her baby down for a cup of coffee and a playdate... All I did was call the police. I offered her nothing but a temporary solution to a potentially serious problem (if it was what I thought it was, which I will never know unless I talk to her, which I probably won't, because something inside of me won't allow me to do it).

I feel like thousands of years of anger and frustration and profound sadness are pouring out of me...

[stellanoir]

20. hey

Please come down here in the near future. I've got a shoulder for you dear and am nearby.

I'll take you to my friendly neighborhood power spot and you'll feel better. I swear.

[femrap]

21. I have never thought women stopped loving themselves or

caring for each other (in spite of all the shit patriarchy puts on them)....but a big part of patriarchy is keeping women divided and conquered. I think men understand a lot more than you think. They have the power, want to keep the power, and aren't going to give it up without some sort of fight. They keep us divided by pitting the unmarried women against the married women; the black women against the white women....on and on. And of course, they use organized religion to do some dirty work as well.

I remember when I was in junior high and how some of the girls wanted to fight over certain guys....I wasn't going to play. Hey...if you want him that bad, you can have him. He ain't that great anyway. Society teaches women to compete with other women....I flunked that lesson.

Calling the police was the best thing...I just had that happen to me recently. The police show up and the women says she doesn't mind being pushed nor screamed at with the most hideous of misogynist words. The next day...I was the bad person. She was pissed that I had called the police. I was just glad that the Police showed up...I called them the next day and they were informative and helpful with advice. I would have been more upset if the Police had not helped. It takes all kind...and everyone 'gets it' at different times. My upstairs neighbors just want to be on Jerry Springer, I think. I gotta move!

But you're letting men off the hook way too easy,....they deserve some of your righteous anger IMHO. Women aren't the ones hanging out in parking lots of video stores.

I am twice your age....I am glad to see that you are angry. Anger is a sign of injustice. And thankfully you are expressly that anger in a positive fashion...otherwise you'd get depressed or start growing some kind of weird tumor inside your body...(that's my theory, at least).

I spoke with an elderly man at a Kerry Rally in '04...an attorney with 4 sons. He said that he told his sons that if ever women united, the joke would be over. I do hope we evolve...patriarchy, if it keeps going at this rate, is going to destroy this planet...and lots of men are becoming hip to this. This overly macho, destructive, behavior has got to stop.

[RazzleDazzle]

39. I refused to play that game too

when my first husband volunteered to me that there was Another Woman, I didn't blame HER. Not at ALL!! She had no responsibility for HIS vows. He did. And only him.

See how this works? Patriarchy pits woman against woman in a competition for the most marriageable man, which was critically important for her very survival -- especially in the several millennia prior to 2nd Wave Feminism. A terrific side benefit of competition (there are many for Patriarchy and Men) is that men are pretty much off the hook if/when they stray. Another woman gets blamed instead, not the philanderer. Clever, huh? Also vulnerable to blame in the unfaithfulness episode(s) is the current wife who may often be accused of not having done well enough by her man, or driving him away, etc. -- thus making HER responsible for him keeping his vows or not. I still see this argument here at DU when defending prostitution: men don't get what they need from their wives so they have to turn to prostitutes. (Hint: it's a bunch of hogwash, tho obviously very resistant hogwash.)

Now, while I don't advocate women making a practice of tempting and luring men away from their wives and families, the truth of the matter is that good men in good marriages for the most part can't be lured and tempted away anyway. It's really hard to keep what isn't yours, but only seems so. If some cad of a man, or some no-longer-faithful husband "falls in love" with someone else, the marriage or relationship was already over (or not worth keeping). Blaming the Other Woman lets him off the hook and misplaces the actual blame.

Once I got over the shock of the news my first husband delivered, I realized that this was a blessing in disguise: I could have my own life back from this thoroughly unremarkable, not particularly good marriage. And so I did.

[femrap]

41. Congratulations on your gaining your freedom from

a man that had married UP and couldn't live up to you!

[DURHAM D]

4. We do. We are out here. Sadly, just not enough of us. eom

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

9. 60% of us.

Half keep their yappers shut. :banghead:

[MuseRider]

5. Never ever ever

let anyone else define you.

Age has a way of releasing you from all the bullshit. I wish it was not so but that seems to be the way it has worked for many of us over 50. Maybe it was the time when we were young and things were not as good as they are now (sounds crazy doesn't it?).

It is very hard not to be upset, angry, tearful and simply ballistic these days. Those are good things even if they are uncomfortable. They are what get you through.

Still, never let them get away with defining you.

We will get through this. Tremendous sisterhood came from the last time we fought this (abortion and rights) even if we did not completely succeed. Big power in sisterhood, a force to be reckoned with.

:pals: sister.

[niyad]

6. THANK YOU for reminding us that sisterhood is indeed powerful (and

global)

[Katherine Brengle]

15. thank you so much...

If this nightmare we are in could yield that result, it would be more than worth it.

:hug:

[MuseRider]

19. I guess I had not realized

how isolated young women are these days. Back when I was younger than you are now we were taught that we were to be suspicious of other women, they might have designs on your man after all. :eyes:

I find that very sad and I understand your feelings a lot more after reading through the posts. I find it horribly sad. I learned to appreciate my women friends so much after the womens movement started. We became a force and a more supportive group I have never found.

Is it the impersonal society we have today or is it simply a backlash back to the old ways? Whatever, I would bet it is going to change soon. Start a group if possible, just a lunch group or a book group or just a group that gets together once a week and start talking about these things. That is how a lot of it got started before on campuses I believe.

I wish we were close. I cherish my women friends as much as I do my family. They are so important. WE are important, you are important. You write beautifully and your ideas and sadness come through loud and clear.

:grouphug:

[SeattleGirl]

8. Katherine, what a powerful piece you have written.

I feel absolutely everything you do. Why the hell are we STILL having to fight this fight? Why can't we have the kind of control over our bodies that men have over theirs? Why are our bodies seen as shameful and filthy? Why is our only choice to be a virgin or a whore in the eyes of the world? Why is a woman who accepts and enjoys her sexuality looked upon as some type of freak? As a slut? As a whore? Why are babies turned into punishments for women who dared to have sex? Punishments for women who were raped or were victims of incest? Why can't we just be accepted as fully human?

This is definitely a post that everyone needs to read. Recommended.

[Katherine Brengle]

10. thank you...

I don't know what else to say right now, I am so drained... If this thread hangs around until tomorrow morning, I might be able to actually interact...

[Viva_La_Revolution]

16. I'll kick you in the morning

:hug:

[Katherine Brengle]

17. thanks :)

:hug: back!

[MrScorpio]

11. I care

More than you'll ever know

[Katherine Brengle]

12. It gives me heart to hear that...

I know that there are some out there who care, it just seems that I have never met any of them in my real, face-to-face life...

[RazzleDazzle]

42. I hate to tell you this -- but

unless the new crop of young men are different, the era of men who seemed to actually understand women's issues and GIVE a damn is over too. Even men who profess to usually aren't up to the task when the chips are down, or even if it's too damn inconvenient (and isn't it always?). I can't tell you when I met a truly feminist man the last time. I imagine it's been years. I simply can't remember.

And I'm not talking about lip service (talk is cheap, after all) -- and besides, you can get that here at DU sometimes. I'm talking about COMMITMENT, and stepping up to the plate ON women's issues, reliably. Or hell, even a little UNreliably.

[MuseRider]

46. I know a couple

and they are both DUers. Love them. They were and are there for us. As for others, I know a lot who give us lip service but they are as likely to actually do something as they are as likely to march for peace.

[Mikimouse]

13. I care and I'm here anytime...

I'm a guy and have been an active organizer of two Take Back the Night Marches and memorials. There are those who care, and we try to educate others.

[cally]

14. Oh sweeties

We all have gotten angry, sad, fearful, and just filled with incomprehension at the injustice of it all. The most striking part of your post to me is that you've never experienced the power of sisterhood. Do you think that's true of many women your age. In that, I've been lucky. I got out of college and several women mentored me. We also banded together for changes in our workplace. When did we lose that comraderie?

Is it possible for you to find a women's group around you? How about a women's book group, or a women's bookstore? All of those will make you feel less alone. Here at DU, you are not alone. :grouphug:

[Rowdyboy]

18. All of us with daughters or god-daughters, nieces, mothers, aunts, sisters

and sisters-in-law, we do care. And now, women are fighting back and things are improving. Marginally, I'll admit, but life for women (especially concerning reproductive choice) is far better today than when I was in college (1972-1976). At least, for now, the days of coat-hangers, or back alley abortions (except in SDak) are over.

Your right to personal choice over your body now hangs in the hands of the next supreme court justice to die or retire. Justice Stevens is 85; Justice Ginsburg has had cancer; either could go tomorrow. These must be frightening times to be a woman.

I'm a gay man. Since my partner and I have no interest in children, reproductive rights do not play a role in my immediate life. However, I have a god-daughter who is 22, and nieces ranging in age from 28-16. My friends have daughters and I care about the rights of all those young women. I don't ever want to hear that Katie or Amanda or Beth or Addie died from an infection caused by a botched abortion. Those dark days MUST be forever put behind us.

You are not alone. Don't ever think you are.

[Katherine Brengle]

22. ...

I appreciate your words and your perspective. I know that the OP originated from me watching a movie about abortion, but it isn't really about abortion itself.

The point is, abortion is not right. It is a horrible thing, and should never EVER be necessary (aside from in a serious health/life situation). So-called "elective" abortions would never be necessary if our society fully valued women and if women were taught to love themselves, and each other, and their bodies, and their history...

I'm more mad about the fact that every single aspect of every moment of every day of my life has been scripted by society...

[Rowdyboy]

25. I am sorry...Had I really understood the meaning of your thread I wouldn't

have posted at all....I did not intend to be rude or belittle your beliefs.

That said, I strongly believe in EVERY woman's right to decide for herself, with input from her doctor, on reproductive choice. It is not my choice, it is not your choice, it is not the government's, nor the church's nor the father's choice. It is the choice of the mother. Thats my opinion on that issue.

Sorry I apparently misread the intention of your thread. Hell, you're an angry, upset woman; I'm a placid, gay man. How could I NOT misunderstand.

I wish you well and good night....

[Karenina]

29. There is nothing "wrong" with abortion itself.

It is absolutely necessary in today's world that abortion be a safe and available option to any woman who does not wish to bear a child at any given point in her life, for any reason.

I've never, in my many years abroad, heard a discussion about abortion in a pub, at a party, on the street and I'm quite happy about it. It's a private matter, handled by a woman and her doctor. There's no need for any public discussion about it AT ALL.

[Katherine Brengle]

30. ...

I agree that it needs to be safe and legal, but I hate that it exists. I hate that women and their reproductive power aren't honored as they should be. I hate that communities do not come together to care for children and that instead, one woman is stuck in a house with all of her kids, alone, with no help and no one to just sit and talk to...

It's the whole culture that's got me messed up...

[Karenina]

35. I agree with you wholeheartedly

on the culture issue, what I don't understand is, "but I hate that it exists." It has existed since women got a clue about how their bodies functioned and would exist even if society were utopia. Once you've made a decision about what's right for you and your body, your values, your life, why would you waste a moment harboring such negativity about private decisions other women make?

[Erika]

23. We ARE here for you n/t

[Der Blaue Engel]

24. This reminds me of a poem I wrote years ago

for my girlfriend. It expresses some of the same feelings you're talking about. When I was your age I was an "unwed mother" too and I went through the same thought processes about choice, and I was really angry about the fact that I was treated as though I didn't have the right to choose either way; I was selfish if I aborted, selfish if I had the baby.

Around that time I read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, and I remember being shocked that I actually envied the sense of sisterhood the handmaids had in some respects. What does that say about where we are in this world, that only in oppression we might actually find support among our sisters? I still haven't answered that question, and I'm still angry all the time, and really, really tired of feeling angry all alone...which we aren't. We aren't. The system conspires to make us believe that, but it's a lie. Much like the situation in congress, we are not the ones in power, and it will be very, very hard to wrest power from those who don't play fair, and the temptation is there to blame the powerless for having to fight so damn hard and seeing so little progress, that sometimes you feel you're the only one who still gives a shit. "Divide and conquer" is their agenda, and when that fails: "Make them believe they've been divided. Make them feel alone."

Anyway, here's the poem:

I Am An Angry Woman
By Betty Blue

I Am An Angry Woman
Who has tried to stuff it down
and pretend this fury's self-directed
and believed the charnel of my father's faith
and believed the shame was mine, overribbed

I Am An Angry Woman
Who has been silent when noise was needed
who has been loud without melody
and hears only whispers in her sleep
and cannot make the wind pass through her pipe

I Am An Angry Woman
but I am not angry with you
who soothes my rage
and my brow
and draws the ache from my well till I am spilling over

October 1996

[RazzleDazzle]

45. Beautiful poem. Thank you.

[TygrBright]

26. Sisterhood is nurtured and made possible by many things...

...and we've lost a good many of them.

One of the most powerful is the extended family structure, and we've all but lost that in modern America. That iteration of 'Sisterhood' starts with 'Motherhood' and 'Aunthood' 'Grandmotherhood' and even 'Great-grandmotherhood.' And 'siblinghood' is a powerful part of that, too. How many of today's children grow up as onlies? Or with just one sib? Family relationships, having to learn to share a bedroom with your sister without killing her, having to watch the younger cousins and figure out a way to keep them from raiding the pies at big holiday gatherings, having a heart-to-heart with that older female relative who can 'understand' the stuff you just can't talk about with Mom... All of these experiences help us become 'sisters.'

Shared oppression (THANKS, Patriarchy! (not...)) also nurtures a sense of sisterhood, closeness, etc., but only when the oppression is so pervasive and complete that the oppressors don't feel the least bit threatened by the emotional support bonds among those they're oppressing. Let the Revolution start and the oppressors will figure out ways to drive in wedges, divide and conquer, etc.

Another thing that promotes sisterhood is a sense of safety, relaxation, comfort and good will in our communities. When you know and like your neighbors, feel safe among them, etc., it's easier to share experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc.-- and that's how sisterhood happens.

Given the lack of positive conditions, it's not very surprising that so many of today's young women feel isolated from each other. We don't live in the kind of world where sisterhood "just happens" or grows naturally. If you want it, you have to think about it and make it happen. A few things that work for me include:

Joining an all-female group that has a common focus on some activity or concrete achievement, and will take at least a year (hopefully more) to complete.

Making a long-term commitment to a volunteer program or activity that involves AND benefits other women.

Cajoling your female relatives into making at least a two-year commitment to a "cousins club" that will bring you together for lunch or dinner (potluck, of course!) at least 3 times a year.

They all take time and effort. But the rewards can be enormous.

encouragingly,
Bright

[bling bling]

27. Good post

There are few topics more dear to me than women's equality and rights. I have a tremendous amount of appreciation for the women and men in previous generations who worked so hard so that we can enjoy the rights we have, and I am constantly on guard to preserve them. In my entire life I have never before felt so threatened as I do now by the authorities in power. It makes me angry too.

On the bright side, more and more boys and girls are growing up with the realization that the old male/female stereotypes are old-fashioned and don't apply anymore. The difference between the dynamics of my relationship with my husband and those of our parents is astounding -- and that's just one generation. If we keep teaching our children right, hopefully those old gender stereotypes will die out completely with the older generations.

[RazzleDazzle]

43. In one generation

good point:

On the bright side, more and more boys and girls are growing up with the realization that the old male/female stereotypes are old-fashioned and don't apply anymore. The difference between the dynamics of my relationship with my husband and those of our parents is astounding...

There's another manifestation of that as well, which is quite welcome, and that is that men are much more free to express emotion AND even cry in public. Hug each other too. This is huge because it is precisely that "emotional constipation" I'll call it which cuts men off from their inner selves and which is partially responsible for all the Patriarchy-Run-Amok horrors we all live with and which threaten our very survival as a species (the whole planet herself too).

[Viva_La_Revolution]

28. morning kick

for my sisters

[progressivebydesign]

31. I am SO where you are right now. I appreciate your post a lot.

Can I add to your rant? Because I DO care!

I, too, am tired of feeling like a hunted animal, when I just want to go to the store at night. Many men cannot understand that the chances of them being robbed while being out in the world at night, are pretty slim, but a woman cannot do whatever she'd like, whenever she'd like, because of the threat of being raped. I want to be able to take a walk on an isolated trail during the day, but I can't. I want to be able to go downtown at night by myself, but I can't. Men may only lose their wallet if they encounter a criminal, women lose their bodies. When I read about that survey a few years ago that said 65% of men polled, would rape a women if they could get away with it, makes you really understand what it's like to be a woman.

I am angry that women are buying into the idea that wearing 3" heels, micro-mini skirts, getting breast implants, and acting like they're stupid, is somehow "empowering". I'm tired of reading columns by 20 and 30-something women saying that somehow acting like sex objects is the NEW feminism, when it's simply buying into retailer and advertiser's sham on young women. Acting like you're stupid, dressing to attract sexual attention, and allowing yourself to be a sex object is NOT feminism.

I am angry that the world is STILL run by old white men. It pains me to see how many young girls aspire to be Paris Hilton, rather than the Chairman of the Board of the Hilton Corportation.

I am angry at the number of women that STILL vote however their husband or boyfriend votes, and will change parties just because of that. Think for yourselves.

Women are STILL treated like second class citizens in America. Just becaue more of us work, does not mean we have power. The balance of power in government and corporate America is STILL so fucking lopsided. I'm sick of the concept of "Women's History Month", as though women who achieve something are some sort of anomoly... that we need to have a special month.

Okay.. so.. what do we do about this???

[Tsiyu]

32. Put that anger to work

At your age, you can do so much. You say your anger is at women, but my anger is directed at ANY human who tries to take power from another. Men are as guilty here as women are.

The way our society has been structured - the "single family unit" held up as the supreme role model - is so dangerous for men, women and children. It leads to isolation as you've described. It keeps human beings locked away from each other, staring at propaganda on the tube, afraid to go out and meet the neighbor, to "get involved."

I have been one of those isolated women. I know now that I have to get out in the world if I am going to find the support I need.

One day, around ten years ago, I was feeling as you are, but I was angry at men. They all seemed like such stupid, fucked-up beings to me at that time, always making the choices that would hurt someone or destroy something or someone's sense of self. I felt surrounded by the most negative male energy (this was in Forsyth County, GA, mind) and I honestly felt I would never make it out of there alive. I was despondent and full of indignation. I wanted to scream at every male on the planet, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES? WHY MUST YOU RAPE AND TORMENT AND STEAL AND LIE AND THEN TELL EVERYONE ELSE YOU ARE THE CHOSEN "LEADERS' OF MORALITY? YOU HAVE NO MORALITY!!!!"

I was so disgusted with men trying to tell me they had all the answers when they were fucking up my world left and right with their immorality. By that I mean the sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia etcetera etcetera of many of the men in my world.

To calm myself, I went for a drive in the country. I was ready to explode. It was a beautiful Spring day and before long, as I meandered for miles, I began to notice something odd. Every last person I saw out and about was a female.

Now, I was driving past country homes from the shack to the mansion and every trailer and farmhouse in between. But everywhere. Women. Tending gardens. In the sandbox with the toddler. Riding a horse. Two teenage girls walking hand in hand along the road waved. I saw another woman on a tractor hauling hay to her cattle. A grey-haired woman waved from her flower-laden porch.

I didn't see one single man! It was bizarre. I joked to myself about maybe dying and waking up in Utopia, but in reality, the women I saw just showed me that I was surrounded by a whole lot of female energy, too. It was there when I needed it. I just had to ask.

:hug:

[smirkymonkey]

36. I am feeling the same way you did!

I am just so disgusted by all the aggression, piggishness and insanity going on in the world - most of it perpetrated by men.

[MuseRider]

33. I have not stopped thinking

about you since I read this thread last night.

I hope you are feeling at least better enough to see today that we can make it through this. I don't know what the fresh hell is waiting around the next bend but I can by damned be certain when I tell you that we will all be in it together.

We do care, I care, you obviously care but we are separated now by the way society is now structured. You can do something about it for yourself and hopefully help other women in the process.

The very best lesson I ever learned was that if I just got up and made myself do something that helped others I would end up with far more than I ever gave. I know it is a bit of a cliche but it is the one single honest never fail truth that I know.

We love you, it isn't much coming from a message board but it is there. :hug: again for today.

[Just Me]

34. OMG!!! We care! WE CARE!!!

Wow! You brought tears to my eyes!! :hug:

Powerful thoughts and words and feelings! :wow:

Thank you!!

THANK YOU!!! :hug:

[Breeze54]

37. I'm glad you got this all out!!

That took a lot of courage!!
As a woman, I'm soooo proud of you!!
You are NOT alone!!

And as everyone has said; WE DO CARE!!!

:hug:

[riona]

38. Thank you, Katherine. You are by no means alone.

[RazzleDazzle]

40. Meanwhile, Katherine and everyone else --

this post by our illustrious Admin should reveal, in some of its details or tangential issues, just why the sexism at DU is so rampant and not likely to change:

Sorry, "Anonymous." Democratic Men Are Better in Bed. Just Ask My Wife.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x199099

[Katherine Brengle]

44. ...

I'm not 100% on the problem with Skinner's bit there... I found it mildly amusing...

Maybe I just missed your point altogether--I have gotten to the fuzzy part of today...

[RazzleDazzle]

47. It's

posting cheesecake himself, and gratuitously AFAIC, plus being outspoken about being a consumer of pornography. No help with tamping down DU's rampant sexism from that quarter, namely he who makes the rules. Add to that that a lot of people here really respect these three guys -- so what THEY do (and say) must be okay, right?

All the rest of the piece was just plain juvenile, I thought, not to mention the writing is forced and contrived, which is a shame since I've seen him do some very good writing. But it's the sexism built into the piece I find heartbreaking, tho not in the final analysis surprising.

And really, isn't the whole penis-size and sexual performance issue just a tad too juvenile and "macho man" patriarchal to start with? What place does it have in the discussions here? Or should it have? Zero, IMO.

Wouldn't it be nice if his wife would get her consciousness raised somehow (assuming any of his piece including this was actually true and not just an attempt at humor)?

[wordpix2]

48. we care, Katherine & some of us have been there facing "to abort or not to

abort." :grouphug:

It's very difficult and you're right, society does not empathize with a plight like yours because TAKE A LOOK AT WHO'S RUNNING LOCAL, STATE AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENTS---probably 80-90% are MEN. :banghead:

WE HAVE TO CHANGE THAT PERCENTAGE. Dry up your tears now and don't get mad, :grr:

GET EVEN!

[rucky]

49. "Our power should come from a feeling of community."

That's the heart of it, right there.

:yourock: