A well-connected good ole boy is building next door.

[The Backlash Cometh]

First, let me give you some background. Years ago when I began to get involved in citizen activism because something smelled wrong in my community, I learned that the good ole boys were not opposed to abusing their connections to get even with their "enemies." I learned this when I worked on a local magazine and one day the magazine printed an article written by my neighbor and it was replete with errors. No one had edited it. I didn't get along with this particular neighbor and I was terrified that she would think I had it print like that on purpose, so I went running to the shadow editor of the magazine and asked to have the article reprinted in the next magazine with corrections. He asked why, and I gave him the details of our grudge. He asked what she did for a living and I told him that she worked in a local school. His faced scrunched up meanlike and he said, "I know the principal and if she gives you a hard time I can get her fired!" Then he proceeded to tell him how he stopped a speeder in his neighborhood and when the speeder tried to give him a hard time, he said he knew the Chief of police in the city and could have him arrested.

No, I don't believe this was idle boasting. As I mentioned at the beginning, I got into citizen activism because something smelled wrong in my community. I only stopped when my children reached the high school years, because I realized that they could be hurt in some way.

Anyway, a well-connected good ole boy is building next door and now I'm wondering the impact it's going to have on my life. I already know that he does not approve of me. The last time we crossed paths on the soccer fields, the man and his wife sent me poisoned darts as we exchanged glances. My backyard garden was my sanctuary and now I have this concern that this man will be using his clout to make life miserable for me.

There's no question that after he builds, I need to put up a fence, but, aside from that, what does someone do when your neighbor is someone who can pull strings and hurt your husband in his business, or even affect your kid's chances of getting into a local college? How does someone go about living in the enemy camp?

[Metta]

1. Surround your property with a big ball of light.

For real. Also, put a circle around it, too; on the ground. If your property isn't round, then run infinite circles from one part to another. You'll need to add to the light everyday for awhile until you know it's fully charged. Have family members contribute,too. Also, just ignore the vibes from the neighbors and be your upbeat selves to them. When they find they can't hook you into their misery, they'll stop trying.

[The Backlash Cometh]

2. I said a good ole boy was building next door, not Satan.

[Metta]

5. Hey, you want protection or not?

This'll work on changing their vibe. They don't have to have horns. This is a peace thing not a harmful spell.

[TankLV]

41. Some people don't understand the higher spiritual things.

They are free to use or disgard the tools available to them, or to believe them at all.

[The Backlash Cometh]

48. Don't worry Tank.

When the time comes, I'll probably have circles, crystals, crosses, grow garlic along the border and burn incense. Right now, I'm hoping that the good karma of my garden will carry me through.

[TankLV]

58. Don't forget to keep your sense of humor.

And your loved ones CLOSE.

And try not to pay attention to the direction of your neighbor.

Ignore him.

Spending countless waking hours on what he will do/not do is useless.

If you worry that he will do something, and doesn't, it was a waste of time.

And if you worry that he will do something and he does it, you've lengthened your misery time.

Try to enjoy yourself and your loved ones, and literally ignore the bastards.

Giving them attention only feeds their negativity/hatred/etc.

[The Backlash Cometh]

59. Good advice. Thanks.

[Catch22Dem]

6. HAHAHAHA

Yeah, I'm not sure what that was all about. :D

[0007]

36. LOL!! Thank you!

[MADem]

3. Don't wait--put your fence up NOW

That way it won't look like you are shutting him out after he settles in. When he moves in, the thing will be part of the landscape. Make sure you get a surveyor to pin the property for you, so there are no issues about the property lines. Get the biggest fence allowable, and make it solid on the side that faces him, even if you have lattice or pickets on the rest of it. Maybe a few fast growing trees up against the fence wouldn't be a bad idea, either, if your plot can accomodate them.

If he mentions anything about it, a good excuse is that the dust and dirt from construction work were aggravating your allergies.

[The Backlash Cometh]

8. The fast growing trees are a good idea.

He's planning to put up a hedge, but there's only one kind of hedge that really grows straight up. If he puts up a hedge that requires a lot of trimming, it means he'll be on my side of the property, just like my neighbor on the other side. The biggest obstacle to the fence comes from my hubby. I think when I do it, I'll do both sides. Personally, I'll feel liberated when it happens.

[MADem]

12. Hey, good fences make good neighbors

I had an asshole neighbor with the biggest yard in the hood, who nonetheless "encroached" on my considerably smaller plot by about five feet (which he did while I was serving my nation overseas, the prick)--landscaping, the whole nine yards. When you spend that kind of dough, it does behoove one to check the property lines out. He figured he could get away with it, but he figured wrong.

I got home, and decided it was high time I got me a fence for the puppy dawg--and put it right up against my plot pins. The rest of the abutting neighbors saw what an asshole he was, and they all had their plots pinned, too. Turns out, the fucker was helping himself to a swathe of EVERYONE's yard!

[The Backlash Cometh]

21. I learned about adverse possession when I moved into this Republican

county. Sons of bitches will take your common ground from you, then call you anti-social when you stop talking to them, or if you try to educate the other neighbors about what they've done. You handled the situation beautifully.

What I think is incredibly ironic is that if I were a Republican, I would be in a beautiful position to take over about three feet of the good ole boy's property. It seems our sprinkler system encroaches on HIS property but we never noticed it before because the original owner installed it and because we never staked a line until a couple of weeks ago. His property was wooded so there was no immediate need before now. I'm not surprised the original owners did something wacky. The whole sprinkler system is wacky. It falls ten feet short of our property line in the back, the zones don't make any sense, and in one place, the line and the pvc go in different directions. I have no idea what they were thinking.

But, they've left us with an interesting situation. I told my husband that if we were Republican, we'd file an adverse possession claim against the property, but since we're not, it means a lost weekend trying to set the heads right on our property. I told him to put them in five inches into our property line, because the city requires three inches for a fence.

[MADem]

16. Here's a few suggestions!

http://greenwoodnursery.com/page.cfm/168

If you can't get the spouse to buy into a fence, then fix it so you can't see the asshole for the trees!

[The Backlash Cometh]

22. You are the best. Thank you!

[maine_raptor]

11. A couple of points on putting up a fence.

First, before you put up the fence, check the local zoning to be sure you are in FULL compliance. That way he hasn't anything to get you with.

Second, I do not know the laws where you are, but here in Maine, if you put the fence even one inch behind the line, you have ceeded him that inch. Have the surveyor mark with stakes and string the line (if possible). And make sure those that put up the fence follow that line.

Third, get written permission from him for the fence putter-uppers to use his land while they perfom the task. This way they cannot be charged with tresspassing. Take pictures of the job site before, during, and after the project. That way there will be a record of what was done in case he tries to clam damage.

This all may seem like a lot of trouble to go thru, but its actually a lot less than the trouble of a protracted lawsuit.

Good luck.

[MADem]

13. Now, if you put pins or concrete surveyor's marks on your line,

you shouldn't have to go all the way to the edge. That kind of ruins it for people who, say, want to put up a small picket with a hedge or flowering plants in front of it....

[maine_raptor]

14. Check your laws

After a period of time has passed, the land on the other side of the fence will become his. In the states where this is true, the putting up of a new fence is considered the establishment of a new boundry. Here in Maine, the period is 20 years. I have several abutters that I send a certified return receipt letter to every 15 years. That action was dictated by the fencing that the folks I bought the property from did, and was recommended to me by the lawyer I hired for the closing way back then.

[The Backlash Cometh]

24. I don't know how I'll get permission, but I'll try.

We have to put them up three inches from the property line. If we have money, I might inlay flat brick so it doesn't look like I ceded the property. Also, the bottom of the fence must be three inches from the ground. That's to allow for run-off from our roofs.

[TankLV]

42. Good fences make good neighbors.

It's not just a silly saying.

I'd also recommend that they take PICTURES of every view and square inch possible of his property - near and far from that neighbor's property.

It will come in handy in case that neighbor trys to claim damages that didn't exist before, or deny NEW damages THEY created that didn't exist before.

Be sure to get a TRUSTED LICENSED professional to do a GUARANTEED survey before putting up that fence, too.

And for god sake - don't put up so much as a TOOL SHED without a BUILDING PERMIT (yes, most jurisdictions REQUIRE one for even a DOG HOUSE) and make sure they are errected no closer than the back and side yard setbacks allow - usually 5 feet fromt he property line.

I speak from experience - there was a similar "bad blood" in my community, and the idiot neighbor went around the neighborhood photographing all those tool sheds and EVERYONE was cited and had to pay damages AND have them moved WITH the proper Building Permits!

[The Backlash Cometh]

49. All good advice. Thanks.

[Catch22Dem]

4. Kill 'em with kindness

That's what I always do.

[The Backlash Cometh]

9. I swear I can not do this to save my life.

I know what you're talking about, and my daughter and husband do it well enough, but it must be a cultural thing and I just can't bring myself to "play" someone. For one thing, they might keep coming back because they just don't get it.

[seabeyond]

7. play nice... you are better than this

you guys dont have to be buddy and friends. a wave hi here and there isnt a big deal. and most importantly.... enjoy life

[The Backlash Cometh]

10. I'm big on waving. I'm that neighbor you'll never get to know, but who

waves driving in and out of her garage. And that's for the people I like.

[MADem]

15. Wow, you're one of those GREAT neighbors!!!

Wish you lived near me!

I used to live in a hood down DC way across the street from friken Gladys Kravitz!!!!* She was CONSTANTLY wanting to "engage" and I swear, it was like she was lying in wait at times--it got so I'd reconnoiter before heading out to go to work, or going to the damn mailbox! I started parking around the side of the house just to avoid the yak, yak, yak!!!

*For those who do not remember Gladys, she was the nosy neighbor on Bewitched.

[seabeyond]

17. funny you two. have said hi to all of my neighbors

and the big wave from there on out.......

backlash, i have a neighbor with two pits, first moved here was three rotweillers. confederate flag flying. 58 guns, silencers and a couple machine guns were confiscated when the swat team went in a couple falls ago. been dealing drugs (i think meth) for all the years i have been here. runs a generator cause no electricity or running water for that matter, which really bothers me. when swat went in they also condemned it and promised they wouldnt be back. they take a pickup truck and a trailor hooked on of trash out every couple months whether they need to or not. gun shots go off at all hours. brother and i talking in my kitchen and a gun went off, we both backed away from the window as we continued to talk. didnt even realize it until my oldest son said from dining room, dont worry mom, i am crawling on the floor.

so what the hell. i have been living with that for 8 years.

[The Backlash Cometh]

26. That's bad.

My main concerns are that this guy is going to get to my daughter's soccer coach, who he knows very well, or stop her from getting accepted into a Florida college, because that's where his connections lie.

[seabeyond]

30. i live in the reddest of red panhandle of texas. that would just be

tooo much of pig for most conservatives. i do know what you talk about the small town, big city attitude. over 200k here, but everyone knows everyones business. and it is certainly who knows who. for the longest of time i had to watch who knew i opposed bush, it was kinda half hazard. i didnt put kerry sign in yard cause everyone knows this house and husband owns a business, as dad does too. but.... i had kerry on car. after election i now have an array of 8 wonderfully colorful bumperstickers. so.... i park car out in the boondocks at country club so not in face.

i have gotten connected into aisd, the repug party primary race, and other parts of community last 6 months. husband has finally told his money friends i am a staunch democrat, and doesnt behoove repugs to be calling my house, after a to do with candidate in repug primary.

i think all is mellowing out to i am the accentric woman from calif..... new yorkers are yankees (they dont cotton to), calif are whackos so we get a little more grace, wink

point of my story...... all the people i know, not many of the die hard repugs would take it out on a kid for college. not unless there was a real mccoy type fued going on. and as much as i get pissed living in this area, and get pissed what i hear these money people mouth off, i have never found myself in fued mentality. i even went to a repug dinner a month ago, assured there would be democrats, and there was not. first i was quiet and out of place. within an hour though, llol lol.... i was asking the repugs to stop letting governor go into a church to sign discriminatory legislation into our state constitution. not going to allow academics to teach my child a made up story from bible as fact. (creationism). and it is not the liberal agenda yawl need to go after in panhandle of texas. there is no liberal in panhandle of texas. it is the corrupt repug you are going against. be honest and say it out loud instead of going after an illusion.

[The Backlash Cometh]

32. "...it is the corrupt repug" I'm going after. I'll remember that.

Problem is that giving and asking for "favors" is an old time good ole boy activity. We call it corrupt, they just think they're being sociable.

[seabeyond]

33. corrupt. i guess that would depend what you are talking about

as unfair as it is. i wanted my child in a specific school district. i went to all i knew, people on aisd board, old timers here in town. ultimately it was left to principle, and we got in, ..... but..... who knows if it wasnt because someone said something to someone. i also have people that call me, that ask things of me. people i know, trust, wanting something from me, like finding a job for a kid. or getting a friend into rehab. networking. now, for our governor to call our state senator and tell him to support the good ole boy representitive in this area, or he was going to have hell in austin, pisses me off

i would use who ever i could find in our university system to get my child in. but to keep a child out..... that is corrupt

i want to bring our black communities voice into the system here. i was talking to a friend a month ago, after kings funeral that i wanted to hear the black voice in this community speak out against whites telling them what they were suppose to say. he told me a while ago, the blacks in this community shut up, for their reasons. they are allowed to be part of the system, they have a vote and i want them active so they do go out and vote. i am meeting with a pastor next week, from calif, use to be with the panthers, lol lol and we are going to talk about what we want to do in this town. nOW...... you can darn well bet, i am going to use the people i have met, be it the people in plan parenthood, that shows some sense of liberalism, or the dem party, if i can find them. they arent in the telephone book. people on the board of education seem to be liberal though they call themselves repugs. a dem cant be elected.

i am from calif, i didnt get the old boy network, but a decade and a half, i get it. and you can damn well bet i am going to use it for all it is worth

[The Backlash Cometh]

34. Since you're an outsider in that state, just a word of warning.

Be sure you find the liberal faction of the Democratic party. We have Democrats here too, but they have backroom relationships with the Republicans through the Chamber of Commerce. I call them old guard Dems.

[seabeyond]

35. hm...... well rumor has it they hang out at a library, or barnes and

noble, which would be a blast for me, but...... lol lol i have no way of contacting. i dont know, smoke signals.... lol lol. hey

i can be many things. i was in the christian private school system, with fundies for 6 years. refused their lists of rules to be a good christian, i and my family just were..... "good christians". you know, loving, nice, kind, happy. lol lol. they couldn't help but grudgingly give it to us.

i can play with the best of them. about the only thing i really excel at.

but would be interesting to see. we are in texas after all

[The Backlash Cometh]

38. You are a very strong person. I admire you.

[seabeyond]

40. back at you, backlash... n/t

[TankLV]

45. I think they have a secret handshake - and the men wear colored shirts.

No - wait - that's GAY persons.

I'm all mixed up.

Now you know how WE feel!

[The Backlash Cometh]

19. We have one of those on our soccer teams. And I just finally told

her to stop asking so many questions. If a strange man came to talk to me and my husband while we were on a soccer field, she'd have an excuse to come over and ask if he was a college scout. This is a true story. She managed to walk from the other side of the field with a cell phone in her ear and just casually ask as she walked by, "Who was that man? I hear there are scouts on the field, is he one of them?"

Today's Glady's Kravitz would be like that. With a cell phone in her ear as she asks you personal questions. So you know that everybody will know your business before you walk in your front door.

[TankLV]

43. ABNER!

[flordehinojos]

18. a nice tall wood fence will keep the sanctuary of your back yard.

in the meantime, disarm him if you can. always say "goodmorning, evening," (or whatevertime of day). always be polite. don't buy into his meanness and never let him know you fear him or his wife.

[The Backlash Cometh]

27. I am going to try. I am really going to try.

[NNN0LHI]

20. I suggest a pack of pit bulls n/t

[Roland99]

23. Methinks you're making a mountain out of a molehill and you're looking to

actually create a problem.


But, good fences make good neighbors.

[The Backlash Cometh]

28. I hope you're right. I would love to be wrong on this one.

[Tsiyu]

25. "Trust one who has gone through it"

Listen carefully: you must make him think you are batshit crazy.

Don't worry about your reputation at this point. Make the guy think you are a Voodoo priestess who can put a whammy on him.

Let him overhear you talking about a spell you cast making another guy impotent cuz he was messing with you. Laugh and cackle about it.

Hang creepy stuff in the trees and play loud, freaky music of your choice. Have motion sensing lights everywhere and if you catch the rat near your property scare the hell out of him. A spotlight is crucial.

If you don't mind guns, make sure he knows you have some. Clean your 12-gauge where he can see it.

I have had some badass neighbors, but they all ended up leaving me alone. And I'm an itty bitty woman LOL!!!! :evilgrin:

[The Backlash Cometh]

29. But what if he has connections to the Taliban Christian rightest?

They're crazier. I might come home to find them standing along my property line, holding candles for their prayer line.

;-)

[Tsiyu]

31. Get some pigs, then

Or throw a bunch of old used toilets in the yard :)

If you can't scare 'em, at least bring down their property values!!!! ;)

[mandomom]

37. Ignore him and return to polictial activism.

Otherwise our nation is dead.

[The Backlash Cometh]

39. I'm sure the time will come.

All these things couldn't be happening to me unless it was building up to something.

[hyphenate]

44. I would also vote for a fence, quickly

Although I would suggest one of those tall, barricade type fences. As for reason, it's very simple: you're putting in a pool. Most states demand that you have a secure fencing system when you are putting in a pool because children could otherwise wander into the pool area and drown.

And if the pool takes a couple of years of research to "put in" you will have the high fence to prevent them from peering into your yard to start with.

A suggestion from my step-brother--he said Oleander grows rapidly. However, it's not allowed everywhere for planting, so check with the city planners before putting it in. He said the root system goes down 2 feet, but it's quick to spread beyond that, and so you might need the fence to keep it from spreading into his yeard next door.

[TankLV]

46. On the wood fence thing - I think this is probably the best choice.

Construct the fence in panels FIRST, then errect it in pieces along the property line - that way you don't have to step onto HIS property line. Errect the posts first, then attach the panels to the posts.

Get something like CEDAR or at least REDWOOD - cedar is more insect resistant than redwood, but the two are the most insect resistant than anything else.

Coat the post bottoms with CREOSOTE or another recommended below-grade wood coating that will "help" make the posts LAST LONGER. Just remember, no matter what you do, you will have to REPLACE the posts and wood fence in about 20-30 years, depending on maintenance.

And remember to paint or finish BOTH SIDES of the fence before you errect it - it will make the fence last longer.

And check your codes, but make sure that that neighbor does not plant any vines or attach anything to YOUR fence - it's YOUR property, and he could damage it (I'm assuming that he would be unwilling to go halvsies with you for installing/constructing it in the first place).

Also, anything that grows over the property line, whether on yours or his, no matter whose side the plant is on, is responsible and has the permission to REMOVE it back to the property line - trees included. That can ruin nice trees that grow too large. Fruit trees that drop fruit on his property can be a future cause of irritation. Hedges or other similar plants would be the best bet.

Just remember, nothing is forever. My parents used to have a really crappy neighbor for most of their existence at their home, but they finally died or moved, and a new neighbor moved in - nice young couple - who replaced the fence with an open "x" type 3 foot tall ranch fence instead of a "fort sumter type 10 foot tall spite fence" so they could keep an eye on my then elderly parents. It was a watchful set of eyes that was very much appreciated in more than one instance when something (sudden illness) happened.

[The Backlash Cometh]

55. Great post. Thanks Tank.

[The Backlash Cometh]

50. Thanks for input.

Maybe if the guy realizes I'm going to put up an ugly old fence, he might put a nice one of his own and save me the trouble.

[davsand]

47. A bit of advice from one who has lived with good and bad neighbors.

I'd build that fence or put in the hedge, and I'd make sure to keep it as legal and squeaky clean as I could. I do suggest, also, that you make it a point to try and be "neighborly" to them.

"Neighborly" has different meanings in different places. Here in the tiny little town and rural area I grew up in, it means that you wave when you see them, you make some small talk when the need arises, and most important, you treat them with respect.

I have two neighbors next door that are both in their late 70's or early 80's. They are as sweet as can be to us. The day we moved in she showed up with a plate of cookies fresh out of the oven.

I have an asparagus bed in the back of the house that grows out of control, and I give them asparagus every summer. She brings over cakes or cookies and I take them bread. We see them once or twice a month, but it makes for a much happier environ when I'm not disliking the folks next door.

Let me contrast this to the guy I lived next door to that tied his BARKING dog out under our bedroom window every morning at 5:30 am. Every evening he'd let his dog run loose in MY yard to poop. Finally, I got tired of it and I took the dog "home" after I caught it in my yard.

I knocked on the door and explained I'd caught the dog in my yard and I wanted to bring it home to them because I didn't want them to get ticketed by animal control. I also was petting the dog and talking about the fact that we didn't want the dog to get hit by the cars in the neighborhood.

Not ONE word of thank you, not one nice thing to say, they just took the dog in the house and slammed the door in my face.

A few days later after the dog barked outside my bedroom window for about 45 minutes, I called over there and asked them if they'd mind either moving the dog to another location on the property or else bring it inside so it would stop barking. They hung up on me and started putting the dog outside my bedroom window ALL night.

A few days later SHE called me up and started screaming and swearing at me about the dog.

I maintain good relations with my neighbors up to a point. I'll bend over backward to get along, but once they demonstrate that my happiness means nothing to them I'll do what I have to.

I called the police with a noise complaint. The barking continued. I called animal control. It continued. I called the city attorney and the Mayor's office, and STILL that damn dog was tied outside my bedroom window 24/7. I was pissed.

They were in repeat violation of the city noise ordinances. I explained to them (the owners of the barking menace) that I could easily call the police EVERY freaking day for the rest of the time they had that dog tied under my window, and that I would happily call animal control EVERY time I saw that dog in my yard. It was up to them...

The dog vanished.

Wild irony in all of this? The guy next door was a GOP City Council member. Because he, and his wife, and the barking dog pissed me off, I got involved in a campaign for a new Mayor and Dem City councilman. That was HOW I got started with the local Dem party.

Anyhow--you should probably build that fence, you should probably also make plans to be cordial with the new neighbors, and you never know--it might be enough to make you get into politics even more than you are now!

Who knows--you could be the next "good old boy"!!!!



Laura

[The Backlash Cometh]

52. Good ole gals can be just as bad.

No kidding.

[Cleita]

53. About the dog poop, my son-in-law scoops it up and deposits

it on the front door of the dog's owner. I'm not sure I would recommend it though. However, my son-in-law is a really big guy and no one messes with him.

[Cleita]

51. Go over and welcome him to the nieghborhood with a

casserole or cookies, whatever is done in your neighborhood. Remember you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you are going to have to live next door to this person, try to smooth the wrinkles in your relationship. It doesn't mean you can't be true to your beliefs. It means keep your dealings and conversation with this person on a friendly non-confrontational level.

[The Backlash Cometh]

56. Well, we're going to redue the sprinkler system so we're off his

property. That's got to count for something.

[The Straight Story]

54. Call homeland security

Tell them he has some guys named Abdul coming over there a lot and he a load of fertilzer in a big truck sitting in his yard.

Wait until he pulls his 'I know people' and then tell him you do as well. Then Homeland folks show up :)


Or just ignore him :)

[The Backlash Cometh]

57. I'm happy to ignore people, but for some reason, it just pisses them

off. But ignoring is better than hanging around and letting them get too comfortable so they can affirm their prejudices to you and expect you to confirm them.