We need another Tuna under the Bed thread - 6 weeks worth.

[FormerRepublican]

OK, I'm a little stressed. I need a bit of government humor to make my day. So I thought about the very entertaining Tuna under the Bed thread we had here a while back. I've been watching the bird flu thing and wondering how horribly the government is going to screw it up if it goes pandemic. So I thought I'd pass along a little of their "help" for you all.

Here's an article I've seen before:

"Federal officials on a nationwide awareness tour urged communities to prepare in advance for worst-case scenarios, including a possible six-week quarantine, if avian flu becomes a virus transmitted from person to person."

http://www.capegazette.com/storiescurrent/0206/avianfluthreat022406.html

So, basically, the government is saying they might force you to stay in your home for 6 weeks quarantine, but they aren't going to give you squat so you better stock up.

Makes the Tuna under the Bed thing make a bit more sense, eh?

Now how do you think Americans are going to react if this thing hits, they get quarantined for 6 weeks, and they don't have 500 cans of tuna under the bed? I suspect the guns will come out and they'll go hunting, quarantine or no... Hmm. More Bush planning.

I sense a set-up for the Bush Dictatorship to arise, courtesy of gun toting quarantine breakers...

[TomInTib]

1. Mid- October sounds pretty good. Either 2006 or '08.

I am betting '08.

[benburch]

2. There will be some dead feds if they try this.

Not that *I* would personally do such a thing, but I know exactly how this will sit with the Militias!

[NYC]

3. Some people have sofabeds.

Do you think a hundred cans of tuna will fold up nicely?

[FormerRepublican]

5. That's why tuna comes in foil pouches, too.

;)

[NYC]

13. Foil pouches, duct tape.

We can create a patchwork quilt. Cats will love it.

[MissB]

4. Not many people have pantries.

And by pantries, I mean stocks of food, not a physical pantry. People are used to going to the store and grabbing a gallon of milk on the way home. Urban dwellers are likely to adjust poorly whereas rural folks can probably handle it fine.

[Arkansas Granny]

6. I'm not so sure about rural folks handling it fine. Some of those

rural folks are just city folks playing at being country folks because they built a house out there. The rural folks who can farm and garden might do just fine, but self sufficiency is getting to be a lost art in many parts of the country.

[RufusEarl]

7. My wife and i started stocking up last year!

[elehhhhna]

8. Huh? Does mercury kill avain flu?!! COOL!

[FormerRepublican]

9. No, but it kills us so we don't have to worry about avian flu...

Er... something like that. :rofl:

[Quantess]

10. Did the spokesman give any reason...why under the bed?

As if people don't have a pantry or cupboards for their canned food? I'm guessing the rationale is: if you keep your precious tuna under the bed, your roommates won't be able to steal it from you when all his/her tuna supplies run out?

Better yet, keep tuna under your pillow. :crazy:
Otherwise someone could steal your tuna can while you're sleeping!

Looters will smash store windows and grab all the cans of tuna they can carry, when the bird flu hits.
:freak:

[zippy890]

11. DON'T FORGET THE POWDERED MILK!!!

That goes under the bed with the tuna.

or under a different bed, but under A BED-- IMPORTANT-
to get it right. our learless feeders are smart about these
things

[MountainLaurel]

12. Quarantine for six weeks?

In my apartment for six weeks?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Our tiny little yard would be three-foot-deep in dogshit within a week if we didn't take the critters out three times a day.

[Tsiyu]

14. My hens gave me 11 eggs the last two days

If the government doesn't kill my birds, I'll have egg salad, poached eggs, omeletes, fried eggs, quiche (egg pie for all you Redneck Socialists), even Easter Eggs, and I don't have to color them. My hens lay white, brown, pink, light blue and pale green eggs!


The birds WERE my survival plan. They are plenty of peoples' "survival plan" all over the world. Funny how even that little bit of self-sufficiency is threatened.