Would you go undercover as a republican...?

[bliss_eternal]

...for the sake of research? If say for example you were writing a story for a newspaper or magazine? Or perhaps creating a documentary?

I'm merely curious. I know some of you from time to time visit the various boards on the internet, which is amazing to me. I don't think I could handle the crap they spew for any length of time--so I wondered if anyone could or would go under cover in person for a considerable length of time?

For the sake of discussion, what would your right wing persona be? Wo would you saw you are, what career would you have, etc.?

:hi:
bliss_e. :)

[Hardrada]

1. I would never feel clean again.

So I guess NOT.

[bliss_eternal]

3. LOL--neither would I.

I've thought about it, in the sense of it would be make an interesting essay. But, I couldn't personally stomach it.
I can't even handle Fox news.

[OKDem08]

2. only as one of the Billionaires for Bush...purely satire

[Viva_La_Revolution]

4. I would do anything for my country

but I wouldn't be able to pull it off. I'd have to make up a story about having seizures, cause if I was made to what FAUX I'd have a fit that would be hard to explain otherwise.

[bliss_eternal]

11. LMAO--that's fair.

:rofl: I'd have to include some sort of disorder that included projectile vomiting. :puke:

[Savannah Progressive]

5. OK, can we be serious for a moment?

There are a couple reasons not to.

1) Repugniks are amazingly transparent. Take the lowest common denominator, package it for Joe Six-pack, and you have the Repugnik Message. They don't hide anything. Granted, they do talk in code now, having learned that their blatant racist homophobic message isn't welcome, but that is easily viewable from afar, without the need to go undercover.

2) What would you gain? As we all know, Repugniks are the lowbrows from hell, and they don't take the time to consider, learn, or even give minimal thought to any issue, so what could we manage to gain by infiltration of their ranks?

3) How long would the therapy take to get the agent in question to be able to conduct a normal conversation with an intelligent person again? After months of monosyllabic conversations, punctuated by grunts and drooling, would our agent be able to rejoin us either without therapy, or without re-training in logic and common sense?

4) How long would our agent be in place before found out? When they are giving one of their many rants about how Ronald Reagan was a genius and berated by morons instead of heralded as the god-sent savior, would our understandable twitching give us away? When they announce that the war in Iraq is right on the path to wards victory, would our eye rolling be controllable? Would we be able to control our snickers or derisive comments? I assure you that the plants they shove in here are unable to, which is why they are found out so easily, and so quickly.

As normal and adjusted beings, we object to blatant lies being told in our presence.

Just as a test, try typing some freeper type lines, which I will italicize below, and see how you react. If you click your tongue, roll your eyes, twitch, or have a gag reflex approach, you can't pretend to be a Repugnik. Obviously, if you projectile vomit on the keyboard, you are out of the running, but that isn't a bad thing.

Please understand that typing this is difficult, and any spelling errors are probably due to the massive convulsions I am enduring at even thinking about typing this nonsense.

Ronald Reagan was the greatest President since George Washington started the job.

George W. is the second Greatest, he pappy was probably third, but might come in fourth.

Clinton is responsible for all evil in our world.

Ann Coulter is witty, well educated, and quite attractive.

Rush Limbaugh is always right.

If you can't even read those, without laughing, or giving some other sign you find it complete crap, then you can't pretend to be a Repugnik.

Come on folks, the Repugniks are so predictable, we know what they're going to do months ahead of time. Heck, I wouldn't put it past them to outsource the building of the fence they propose on the Mexican Boarder to the Chinese.

[mark11727]

7. Five minutes after the first beer, I'd blow my cover ...

Yelling "Oh Sean, ya so fulla shit!!!"

That's all folks! :evilgrin:

[bliss_eternal]

13. Yah--that might give you away...

...:rofl:

[bliss_eternal]

12. This is by far

the funniest thing I ever read! :rofl:

I'm guessing that if I couldn't get through any of your test without laughing hysterically I wouldn't make it...

:rofl::spray::rofl::spray::rofl::spray::rofl::spray::rofl::spray::rofl:

[musical_soul]

34. They're Republicans, not hypnotists.

Of course I could keep it up and come out alive. lol.

[darkmaestro019]

6. Ha. I'm a queer white guy with blueblack dreads to my waist. No chance.

And even if I weren't I could never stomach it. I might go "undercover" as one if I weren't there in person, because I believe very firmly in knowing thy enemy.

[bliss_eternal]

14. They would happily take you in

so they could attempt to exploit you for the glbt vote.

[darkmaestro019]

35. yyyyyyeah, maybe....but I'm also very very non-Christian and poor.

Though I suppose they could go "See how inclusive we are!"

[bliss_eternal]

50. Yes, and they would ALL want to take pictures w/you

to show how charitable they are. They actually posed for pictures w/a poor guy. Next convention, we all help him find Jesus--:crazy:

[darkmaestro019]

90. OMG, now I really am tempted to do that, lol (joking, but...)

...I've done some adult type work, hee......I'm sure they'd be real happy to find that out after the you know what eating grin in the picture with lil old me : )

Oh wait. Gannon. And I can type and moderately spell; maybe they'd let me be a press agent or whatever he was.....I have almost his exact resume, except I've never been a literal prostitute. Ah well. There's always someone better qualified than you, I guess.

[Dem2theMax]

8. I couldn't be that stupid, even if I tried.

In all honesty, I couldn't do it. I'd probably have a stroke. Just seeing a * bumper sticker is enough to get my blood pressure up. Pretend to be a freeper? I'd rather stick needles in my eyes! :crazy:

[bliss_eternal]

15. bleeding from the eyes vs.

pretending to be a bushbot...ok, I guess that wouldn't work. LOL! :hi:

[NMMNG]

9. I couldn't do it

I'm not capable of acting that cruel, and spewing that hateful filth, even for the purposes of research. Nor could I tolerate being in their lair for any amount of time. I'd have a permanent migraine and my blood would be boiling non-stop. :grr:

[bliss_eternal]

16. I hear ya' Buffy--

I know that I couldn't either.

[rucky]

10. I'd make a really really bad Republican.

I twitch when I lie.

Maybe I can be the Twitching Republican?

[bliss_eternal]

17. Why not?

The boy king has that smirk, and that weird eye tick. A little twitching? They wouldn't even notice.

[Bluebear]

18. Yes. Please choose which disguise I should wear:

[bliss_eternal]

21. The confederate diaper thingy would be hot!

:rofl: Otherwise, a goofy bow tie and suspenders--you could work that whole Fucker Carlson thing!

[Gabi Hayes]

59. can you look like this?

[Gabi Hayes]

61. typical republican brain on Bush

[ClintonTyree]

19. I could.......

my brother is a died in the wool freeper so I know the lingo and which things to hate and which things not to. I wouldn't feel clean for quite some time, but I could do it. For research's sake ONLY though!

[bliss_eternal]

22. You wouldn't be afraid of being sucked into it completely?

They've got some sort of brainwashing machine, I just know they do... :scared:

[DFW]

20. I'd never be able to keep a straight face

I can blow up once in a while, but to keep myself in
a state of constant anger and hate, vowing to know as truth
that which any mentally handicapped pre-schooler could spot
as a lie? I mean I never even went to acting school. How would
I be able to keep up such a pretense?

The answer is: I wouldn't

[bliss_eternal]

23. That's ok--

it's a sick fantasy of mine. I'm imagining DU'ers at Young Republican meetings... Such a weird, twisted thing to consider.

:scared: I've scared myself. I'll have to sleep with a light on tonight.

[NewJeffCT]

24. I'm clean cut & white, so I could pull it off physically

and, I'm usually careful enough with my words to not let a sarcastic anti-Bush remark come out...

But, I don't think I could do it for a long time.

[bliss_eternal]

41. I understand...

...it would be difficult, having them think you're one of them for too long. Getting invitations to town hall meetings and such. Bleh...

:puke:

[Hubert Flottz]

25. No, I wouldn't go under any covers with any republican.

Not now, Not ever, Not even hardly!

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. I visited another board for a time, but not undercover. Quite a few

of the people were logical and well read, and even fun to debate with...no matter how misguided and unable to substiate their claims they were. But the one or two slack jawed, backwoods idiots made it impossible to stay for any length of time.

[Jeanette in FL]

27. I did and it was a surreal experience

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=518779

Katherine Harris came to my little town to drum up support for her failing Senate run. I went because I wanted to hear for myself what they say in closed quarters. I was amazed at how they talk about Democrats and Liberals when they are among themselves.

I kept thinking that this is my one chance to give it to her, but I kept my composure. Of course afterwards I imagined all the things I could have said to her and a part of me wished that I had. It would have made a nice picture of me being dragged out of her little grassroots get together.

It was extremely hard to hold ones tongue. I could have easily argued every single one of her Pro Bush points. It is not an easy task to remain quiet.

[bliss_eternal]

28. Whoa--that must have been so freaky!

What kinds of things did they say about Democrats and Liberals? Was it like the stuff we say about them? LOL!

:hi:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

29. Couldn't pull it off.

I'm about 15 shades darker than your average Republican. :)

[bliss_eternal]

42. LOL--

You know they try to recruit people of color. You would be privy to interesting dialogues about welfare queens, immigration and how articulate you are.

Now don't you want to run out and join up? :sarcasm: :hi:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

89. Funny thing is that I'm Indian.

1/3 of them would think I was black, 1/3 would think Hispanic, 1/3 would think Arab.

:rofl:

[zbdent]

30. My values would not let my conscience stay suppressed that long

[bliss_eternal]

43. Sounds like there would be trouble...

understandable, though. Not many of us could pull it off. :)

[guinivere]

31. I could do it.

As long as I adopted a Laura Bush-like personna. Just smile and nod. I would only be able to keep this up for a couple of hours. So as long as I could get all the info in 2 hours time, I'm good. After that :nuke: .

[bliss_eternal]

63. Ah, the republican wife persona--

I like it! Smile, nod, look concerned from time to time, but mostly upbeat. If they start to broach issues that concern you, just break down like Alito's wife did during his hearings.

[Atman]

32. Would I have to wear a tie?

Drink scotch and mingle with people with four names and a roman numeral on their guest cards?

Eesh...that's a tough one.

[bliss_eternal]

47. Uh oh--sounds like you might have trouble...

we might see you on Cops for inciting rioting at a town hall meeting. :scared:

[musical_soul]

33. Hell yeah. Sounds like fun.

I'm just evil like that.

My persona would be the not to religious Republican, more of a fiscal conservative than anything else.

I don't think I could fake being a fundamentalist. Can't fake being one of the stupid Republicans either.

[bliss_eternal]

57. Fiscal conservative, haliburton investor?

Someone w/an obsession to see Dead-eye dick actually make it as pres. one day. :rofl: Think you could pull it off? ;)

[XanaDUer]

36. Interesting question...

Yes, I would, as an undercover agent to dig up dirt on them and get them in trouble.

[bliss_eternal]

49. That's the spirit!

:applause: just what we need--someone willing to go in and get their hands dirty, exposing the crooks!

[ProfessorGAC]

37. Would I Need A Lobotomy First?

The Professor

[bliss_eternal]

54. It might make you more credible,

but we would need you to report back to us--so you should probably keep the brain cells. ;)

[Kansas Wyatt]

38. Okay, I'll sacrifice myself for the good of the country.

Where do I go to take possession of my McMansion, Hummer, and Financial Portfolio?:shrug:

I assume that I will also receive a sizable cash flow as well. :woohoo:

[Rocknrule]

39. That's quite a makeover

Knock out 80% of my teeth, buy a Hummer, get clothes with Confederate flags on them, start using the N-word in every other sentence, build a * shrine in my garage, carry a shotgun with me everywhere I go, and the only thing I can talk about is all the people I hate and why.

Nah, too much work

[bliss_eternal]

Awww, you were off to such a promising start...

you'd do so well.

But I respect the fact that you choose not to. :hi: It is a lot of work.

[Rich Hunt]

40. I couldn't do it

I was raised as a Democrat and don't feel comfortable with / am not familiar enough with the communication style of the other side to do it. I don't think I could get away with it with my background and lifestyle and all, but then again, Ted Nugent is a Freeper, so...

Plus I feel that there is enough conservatism on talk radio and that the 'other side' needs more bodies and talking heads.

I DO read conservative sites and the Free Republic, more for the news stories and information than the "me too" posts. It's always valuable to see what "the other side" is saying.

I've spent time on libertarian forums too, but I suppose that doesn't count.

[NYCGirl]

44. Matt Taibbi did when he was writing for Rolling Stone:

http://dir.salon.com/story/books/int/2005/05/12/taibbi/index.html?pn=1

You got to spend some time with the Bush people -- what was that like?

Rolling Stone sent me to be a campaign operative for George Bush. I moved to Orlando, Fla., and I volunteered for the Bush campaign. In fact, I arrived in town early enough in the campaign that I ended up as a manager in one of the Orlando offices. I was a fairly important person in the Bush campaign in Florida, and I'm proud of this -- we did very well. The I-4 corridor really turned out for Bush, so I like to think I did my part to help him win. I definitely worked very hard.

What was your cover?

I was under a fake name; my story was that I was a New York City schoolteacher who had a girlfriend in Orlando, so I was down there for the summer. I told them all sorts of horror stories about how the New York City schools were overrun with perverts and faggots. Everybody loved that.

Did you notice a difference between Democrats and Republicans? A personal difference?

The Republicans were a lot nicer than I expected. A contrast between being with the Democrats and with the Republicans is that being around the Democrats was so much like high school -- you had to be cool all the time. In Orlando, you could just walk into a Bush office, and so long as you were committed to the president, it didn't matter if you were a total fucking loser, they'd love you for it.

Did you hear from the Orlando office after the article was published?

Oh yeah. I got plenty of calls. I didn't pick up the phone if I saw a call was from the Orlando area code, but I did get a lot of angry e-mail. My immediate boss at the campaign office called me up after Bush won the election and left a message that said something like, "Mr. Taibbi, the God that you do not believe in has blessed our president with victory." She kept leaving messages like that for a few days. They were mad. I don't think I'll be going back to Orlando anytime soon.

[bliss_eternal]

51. Whoa--that's kind of disturbing...

He was proud that he helped him win?! :scared:

Other than that, very interesting profile and story. I'm not sure about his objectivity though. When he says things like "...all he had to do was show up and they loved you." Ummmm, I don't know about that. :eyes:

Sure, there's cool republicans and there are jerks that are democrats--but some of his points strike an odd chord with me.

[Avalux]

45. Yes. If it would save this country, YES.

This is something I've thought about before. If going undercover would somehow make a difference, I would do it.

[bliss_eternal]

53. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that has

entertained this idea. I don't know why it came to mind, maybe some of the old Daily Show footage when they attended the republican convention, or the town hall meetings on the news. I wonder what would it be like to attend as one of them--what would they say to me? How would they treat me, etc.? What expectations do they have for one of their own?

How long would it take for me to completely lose my mind? :spray:

[Avalux]

55. lol - that's another thought -

could I do it without completely losing my mind? I don't know. Reminds me of the film "Donnie Brasco" where he actually became them......

:scared:

[bliss_eternal]

60. We watched that one recently--

as well as the featurette and back story information. He really started to lose himself, didn't he?

There was a story on one of the news magazines recently where a woman went undercover as a man. She was learning a great deal that surprised her, but she also started to lose herself. She had to spend some time in psychiatric care at the completion of her project.

If a fbi agent, undercover as a mobster and a woman pretending to be a man had issues--imagine the issues we would have? Attempting to assimilate in a world with a belief system so diametrically opposed to our own...

:crazy: :scared: :freak:

[Sammy Pepys]

46. Might be interesting....n/t

....

[dogday]

48. I don't think I could do it

I don't even like thinking about them, more or less being around them....

[WinkyDink]

52. I could never keep my mouth shut!

[leftofthedial]

56. been there

done that

Dick Bentley here

[Finder]

58. I used to be one...

and most people still assume I am. During 2004 I had signs up to the effect of "Republican for Kerry" and for other Dems campaigning. Since I never officially changed my party I get to fill out questionaires meant for repubs and get invites to interesting events. Most repubs are really not like freepers. Then again, I don't know many conservative repubs in my area. Most of the conservative(religious)types tend to be dems or libertarians.

[mdmc]

62. im undercover right now

:tinfoilhat:

[Gabi Hayes]

64. ladies? can you get here?

[Gabi Hayes]

65. you could get a date and go as Bush and Cheney

[Gabi Hayes]

66. Or Mr. Karen Hughes

[Gabi Hayes]

68. where's her Kerry band-aid

[Gabi Hayes]

70. never mind...bad link

[bliss_eternal]

73. You're having way too much fun--

these are some of the most disturbing images I've ever seen. Funny--but disturbing. :spray:

[Gabi Hayes]

74. you should see some of the ones I didn't link...WAY worse

I was enjoying it for awhile, but it started to bum me pretty badly

Diane Arbus territory

[bliss_eternal]

77. LOL--

thanks for sparing us. ;)

[Greyhound]

67. I am undercover, every god damned day, and not for research

just to live. I just generally avoid the conversations, although I can't resist interjecting a problematic point every now and then just to watch their faces as a thought intrudes on their fantasy. :evilgrin:

[bliss_eternal]

71. I had no idea--

I'm so sorry. :hug: Sounds frustrating... I take it you live in a red area?

[Greyhound]

81. It's so red here I still see "W" stickers on all the freaking Hummers

in the parking lot. And the "suppot our troops" magnets made in China.

Thank you for the sympathy, though, it is nice to be reminded that good people are still abundant other places. I really miss LA.

[bliss_eternal]

86. I'll never understand why they all

drive Hummers? What is the attraction to that crappy, environment polluting, pos car?

We miss having you here! :hug:

[Ladyhawk]

69. I'm no good at lying, even for a good cause.

I used to be a Republican and a fundy. I once posted on a fundy forum for kicks, but couldn't go on with it after about a day. I felt guilty and SICK at the responses I got. I turned my life story around, said I was the Christian and my mother was the atheist. I wanted my mother to convert before it was too late and she went to hell. You know what? It really wasn't even all that amusing. It was just plain SAD to associate with people so deranged that they believe 2000-year-old myths.

I can't believe I EVER believed that crap and no longer understand why other people insist on believing that crap. It's so patently, obviously FALSE. All of it.

[bliss_eternal]

72. Oh Ladyhawk--

I'm SO sorry--I didn't know! :hug:

Don't be so hard on yourself, for buying into it at one time. Life circumstances unfortunately make it easier sometimes to endorse dysfunctional systems. When we don't have anything else in our life to expose the lies, how will one know?

[Gabi Hayes]

75. men...here's what you do

[Gabi Hayes]

78. then....pick her up

[lonestarnot]

76. ssssssssssssssnake...nope!

[0007]

79. No .. 'tis not my game.

[Ian David]

80. I know several people working under-cover at anti-gay groups right now

I'm not at liberty to say which groups, or how long they've been there.

For the most part, they seem to cannibalize one another's membership base.

Collating their databases, about 60% of them are members in more than one anti-gay group.

About 45% are members of more than two anti-gay groups.

It also appears that one anti-gay group actually "borrowed" a membership database from another anti-gay group without permission, and used it to raise money for themselves.

The anti-gay group they "borrowed" it from actually went broke.

Of course, I could be making all this up. As a satirical riff, perhaps.

Yeah, that's it.

I made it up.

[bliss_eternal]

87. Why are they infliltrating the groups?

(in your imagination--where you made it up, of course ;)) Are they trying to bring the groups down from the inside? Or learn more of their inner workings?

[Gabi Hayes]

82. always keep a palm pilot ready at, uh, hand

[drmom]

83. I have done this...

...it's an invaluable experience, and trust me... once you go to a cocktail party with Republicans and get them talking in a relaxed atmosphere, their real agenda comes out. It all comes down to hate and greed.

The great part is that the experience cemented in my mind why I will always be a liberal.

[bliss_eternal]

88. I suspected as much--

how brave of you to conduct such an experiment! I kind of envy your experience--not because I want to hang out with rw-ers, but based on what you learned. You obtained this information first hand, from the horse's mouths so to speak. No one can every mistake what you know as information from the (ahem)"liberal media." ;)

[Le Taz Hot]

84. I kind of did

about a year-and-a-half to two years ago (can't remember exactly). Boxer's opponent was speaking at a Republican gig in Fresno and the Boxer campaign called to ask me if I would pose as a Republican to see what he was saying about her. It was actually pretty funny because, at the time, my mug had been all over local TV and radio stumping for Dean so everyone there pretty much KNEW I wasn't a Republican; however, they couldn't actually keep me out as they advertised that the meeting was open to the public.

[Raksha]

85. I couldn't do it. I'd never be able to fake it

because I'm not a good liar, which is why I habitually tell the truth. Aside from ethical considerations, it's just a lot easier for me. It's not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to--I would just never try it because they'd spot me in a minute. I would be incapble of spouting RW talking points with a straight face.

[Vinca]

91. I couldn't do it. I'd be in prison for life within hours. nt

[TheBaldyMan]

92. I meet enough of them in real life anyway

some of my friends are right wingers and I get enough brain ache, I wouldn't seek them out for a totally immersive experience.

Visiting RW boards is more than enough for me.

[aeroamerica]

93. How much does that job pay?