some good ones - New Republican Dictionary

[Kali]

>Alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.
>
>Bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not
>corporations
>
>Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.
>
>Class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
>
>Climate change n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
>
>Compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
>
>Creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a
>chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
>
>DeLay, Tom n. 1. P ast tense of De Lie; 2. Patronage saint.
>
>Democracy n. So extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
>
>Fox News fict. Faux news.
>
>Free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
>
>Girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately.
>
> God n. Senior presidential adviser.
>
> Growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What
> happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
>
> Habeas corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See
> Patriot Act).
>
>Healthy forest n. No tree left behind.
>
>Honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.G., "Freedom is on
>the march."
>
>House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5
>million.
>
>Laziness n. When the poor are not working.
& gt;
>Leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working.
>
>Liberal(S) n. Followers of the Anti-Christ.
>
>Neoconservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.
>
>9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy.
>
>No Child Left Behind riff. 1. V. There are always jobs in the military.
>
>Ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population
>controls 90 percent of the wealth.
>
>Patriot Act n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the
>terrorists from destroying them first.
>
> Pro-life adj. Valuing human life until birth.
>
>Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.
>
> Simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
>
> Staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing
> over and over, regardless of the result.
>
&g t;Shit happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian.
>
>Voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout.
>
>Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense.
>
>Water n. Arsenic storage device.
>
>Woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted
>to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have
>all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom
>she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.

[bbinacan]

1. That is hilarious

Thanks!:rofl:

[freeplessinseattle]

2. kick