How do Pastafarians feel about forcing sex on martial partners?

[Nikki Stone1]

I'm really considering accepting the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my personal savior, but I need to know if bodily integrity is respected by the followers of the noodley appendage.

[joneschick]

1. like kung fu partners? It may not have been addressed.......

[tocqueville]

2. the noodly appendage is central in the Holy Pastafarian intercourse

it's shared in Communion and full consensuality

[FuzzySlippers]

4. But isn't there a problem with the noodly appendage

being al dente, if you catch my drift?

[Jigarotta]

5. Noodly needs Cheesus!

on the right hand of Gouda.

sorry, don't mean to insult regular nice christians by this.

[Canuckistanian]

3. Not possible

You must accept FSM in your heart before any noodly appendages are offered.

[pinkpops]

6. Wouldn't a spouse simply laugh at a noodley appendage ?

[tocqueville]

7. ever heard about instant resu-erection ?

but you must be a believer...

[ret5hd]

8. forced sex gives me a limp noodle...

just one pastafarians response.

[AndyA]

9. I just heard that black men turn gay because their wives won't

put out. Seems some church down there in Georgia has just spilled the beans on this revelation. I was shocked I tell you - SHOCKED!

Read all the details here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=823684&mesg_id=823684
Edit: Add link.

[boobooday]

10. For some reason I just had a mental picture

Of fettuccine style bondage, and sensuous lashings with vermicelli . . .

[ClintonTyree]

11. I'll know for sure later this week.............

when the "Good Book" arrives!





I was notified by Amazon that it has been shipped so I should have it soon. Finally! A guide for all Pastafarians (of which I am one) and critical insight into the strange and wonderful ways of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I'm all aflutter, I'll tell you! ;)

[ClintonTyree]

12. Some excerpts from, "The Good Book".

Book Description
CAN I GET A “RAMEN” FROM THE CONGREGATION?!

Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM’s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it’s the assuring touch from the FSM’s “noodly appendage.” Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church’s flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match–and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden.

Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts– dispelling such malicious myths as evolution (“only a theory”), science (“only a lot of theories”), and whether we’re really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!)
See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say:

“If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory.”
–Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D.

“Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative ‘theories’ like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”
–J. Simon, Ph.D.

“In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory.”
–Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D.

Read the book and decide for yourself!

[dogfacedboy]

13. I only condone it when it's

being forced upon me by my wife.

[beagle72]

14. Is that your percatelli or are you just happy to see me?

Oh manicotti!

[newyawker99]

15. Hi beagle72!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Nikki Stone1]

16. Groan!

How many bad puns are going to come out of this thread?

:)