A Nerd grows up...

[undergroundpanther]

If I could go back and give my thirteen year old self some advice, the main thing I'd tell him would be to stick his head up and look around. I didn't really grasp it at the time, but the whole world we lived in was as fake as a Twinkie. Not just school, but the entire town. Why do people move to suburbia? To have kids! So no wonder it seemed boring and sterile. The whole place was a giant nursery, an artificial town created explicitly for the purpose of breeding children.

Where I grew up, it felt as if there was nowhere to go, and nothing to do. This was no accident. Suburbs are deliberately designed to exclude the outside world, because it contains things that could endanger children.And as for the schools, they were just holding pens within this fake world. Officially the purpose of schools is to teach kids. In fact their primary purpose is to keep kids locked up in one place for a big chunk of the day so adults can get things done. And I have no problem with this: in a specialized industrial society, it would be a disaster to have kids running around loose.

What bothers me is not that the kids are kept in prisons, but that (a) they aren't told about it, and (b) the prisons are run mostly by the inmates. Kids are sent off to spend six years memorizing meaningless facts in a world ruled by a caste of giants who run after an oblong brown ball, as if this were the most natural thing in the world. And if they balk at this surreal cocktail, they're called misfits.

Life in this twisted world is stressful for the kids. And not just for the nerds. Like any war, it's damaging even to the winners.


Ain't it the TRUTH,I balked at the festering cocktail,myself too smart to drink that shit..even to this day..... Read more..
http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

[darkmaestro019]

1. I never thought of this that way--he is astoundingly right...

thank you for posting this. I'm sending it to a great many of the long-haired freaky people I love so dearly.

[Richard Steele]

2. Brilliant! Too bad I can only recommend this ONCE.

[Syrinx]

3. Subdivisions

Words by neil peart, music by geddy lee and alex lifeson

Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone

Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone

Subdivisions ---
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions ---
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth

Drawn like moths we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night

Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight

Somewhere out of a memory
Of lighted streets on quiet nights...

[AllegroRondo]

29. That was my first thought too

written in 1980 - way ahead of its time.

[MercutioATC]

4. K&R...

...especially pertinent at the beginning of yet another sports (baseball) season...

[NMMNG]

5. "Unfortunately, to be unpopular in school is to be actively persecuted."

Oh, yes. They make you pay like hell for a crime you never committed.

[DemExpat]

6. Great find, this article, UGP....

Bookmarked.

DemEx

[darkmaestro019]

7. I finally finished it and am on another one.

I pimped the Hell out of this in my LJ. I'm astounded. I love this man a lot. Here's a snip from what you get when you click "essay" in the article OP is quoting:

"Whatever you study, include history-- but social and economic history, not political history. History seems to me so important that it's misleading to treat it as a mere field of study. Another way to describe it is all the data we have so far."

This man is a genius and I can't thank you enough, underground panther, for introducing me to him. I can feel him helping me get things arranged in my head in a much more useful and workable way, and that is quite possibly my favorite sensation ever, having new ideas. : )

EDIT: I'm tempted to reply 500 times to random shite just so I can K&R this too. (I won't, don't worry) People, please, give it some love. Everyone needs to read this!

[Breeze54]

8. Astute observation except...

are you talking about the 'burbs' or 'sub-divisions'(what a devisive tag!)
divisive - adj
Definition: alienating
Antonyms: unifying
Guess it's all in your perspective!
Where I'm from they call them 'bedroom communities'...go figure! lmao!
My parents moved from the city to 'the 'burbs' but that only created seven rebels!!
:rofl:
We were UNIFIED!!!
But we didn't live in a sub-division. Just a regular neighborhood.

[Kailassa]

9. I've always believed that keeping a child sitting at a desk

all day, nearly every day, is a cruel and stupid waste of a childhood, and not the least conducive to health, learning or social skills.

[mogster]

10. Yes! Paul Graham is a nerd, allright

Programming in Lisp, yay!

[undergroundpanther]

11. lower than nerds

I was at the"e" table..A threatening freak of nature to the normals..Forever I am in the liminal twilight zone of"society" I scared the crap out of people because I didn't care,my life was too chaotic and dangerous to care...At school they all were too selfish to care, too oblivious to notice, too scared to risk,too stupid to understand why, too cowardly to do anything besides by-stand or turn away..after all it was not them bleeding all over the floor staring into space with a heart of stone..while deep inside I silently shattered like delicate glass...sharp shards they are embedded inside me and if I feel things they cut me again ,as fresh like it was ten minutes ago I was picking my bleeding lip that was embedded in my braces free..

The American dream turns for the children of the suburbs into an american nightmare ...again the old and oblivious cannibalize the young by starving them of life and and finding of purpose..with bullshit,and posturing. How evil is the game of make believe cultures play so scared of being victimized and seeing the truth and empathizing,they play control games over stupid shit like hair colors or nose rings,Parents do their part to make sure the cycle goes on and nothing changes. I weep for my generation those before and those after who are the smart,creative tenderhearted who by the games of bullies ,bystanders and enablers,are forced to develop thick skins or suffer.

[Sequoia]

31. Yet we wonder why things like Columbine happen.

What was that 1980s movie that young Matt Dillon was in where the kids were in the upscale housing area but the kids were so bored and angry they whipped up some trouble?

[tinrobot]

12. Excellent

He nailed it on the head... it really sums up my miserable suburban school experience.

Just bought the book, too.

K&R

[Swamp Rat]

13. Thank Oshun I was born and raised in New Orleans!

I've always hated the suburbs, as they are populated with Gregor Samsas. I'll take my moldy wreck of a home over a pre-fab existence any day! :puke:

[tavalon]

14. Wow

I'm in my fourth decade on this planet and this person just explained that irrational, awful, mind numbingly boring time in my life called high school.

I've mentioned before that even if I could take with me all of the knowledge and life experience I have now, I would sooner slit my wrists than be a teenager again. This person explained it perfectly.

I wasn't a nerd but I was and am very intelligent. So intelligent that the stuff they had us doing in high school was mostly stuff I could do mindlessly (unfortunately, I applied that to everything and I missed a couple of things I had to go back at a later time to learn i.e. one cannot do calculus unless one first learns algebra. Oops. I was busy in the back of the room with a bunch of friends trying to see who could hold their breath the longest and make the most amusing animal sound). As a ninth grader I was being relegated to the bottom of the heap so I turned that intelligence to learning how to play the game. I got pretty damn good at it and was just below the top of the feeding chain by the end of high school. It took me years to get over the guilt about how I prostituted myself to be popular. Savage, savage culture it was and is.

There are a few blessings to having an autistic son. He doesn't have a clue nor a care about what his peers think of him. It's too bad that he doesn't have any kids to be friends with but as he is entering puberty he might fare better with his currently large adult network.

Recommended reading for all.

[tavalon]

15. FYI

Paul Graham has a book. I think I'm going to get it sight unseen. This man is a genius.

[qanda]

16. Kick

:kick:

[DIKB]

17. Wow

I feel like a light was shined on my existence in high school. It perfectly encompasses all that I went through. I was fortunate enough to have a popular brother, but at the core I was a nerd. They were who I identified with.

This should be required reading for all young adults, if it saves some lives, or at the very least eases the mental suffering of some young ones, it'll have done a great service.

[July]

18. Great link, just read three essays.

Very interesting guy. Thanks.

[Maraya1969]

19. Ah the day my parents "moved up" in the world. Took me away

from my friendly neighborhood with kids playing up and down the street and moved me to a big house with no one around. I was jealous of the kids who weren't "privileged" like me.

It was sad reading that.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. Shit, I enjoyed High School.

Junior high was rough....I was poor in a rich town, had a weird family, and couldn't afford good clothes. Kids were mean. Plus I was overweight and sensitive and only cared about music and politics. By the time I was 13, I knew how to play a bunch of instruments and was working on my own aesthetic, away from the gaze of the rest of the kids in my school.

But by the time I was in high school, the stuff I was into was becoming popular and I was able to attract a coterie of friends, who I molded into "my band."....being a musician, other kids would invite my band to play at parties that the popular kids would hold. By junior high I was into pot and acid, which again afforded me an "in." I was also lucky in that I was able to deal with my earlier ostracism with a bit of humor and grace (well, really just bemused fatalism), so that I wasn't constantly thinking in terms of "REVENGE!" against the popular kids, some of whom were genuinely likable people. My Western Civilization teacher told me that I was one of the most brilliant students he'd ever taught, but that I "ran with the wrong crowd." I took that as a compliment.


Still couldn't get laid, though. :cry:

[Flirtus]

21. "Before you develop a conscience, torture is amusing."

Let me see, who does this make me think of?

[Inland]

22. "Sanitized for your Suburban Living"

My friend's phrase, calling to mind the paper ring around the hotel toilet.

I felt also that growing up, there was nowhere to go, nothing to do, but you know what? There really wasn't. I don't feel the same way about my current suburb. The problem is, the things that there are to do, some kids don't want, and the things they want to do, some are illegal or unwise or wastes of time. So yeah, they are locked up like people who, if left are their own, won't do what's best for themselves and others, and made to work. It's all true. I'm just not sure how much of it I have a PROBLEM with.

[Gregorian]

23. That just blew my mind.

Your quotes are nearly identical to my own mind speaking to me. I used to sit with my friends and drink, while mocking and laughing in a contemptable fashion, at the silly organization we call modern society. All concerned with safety and comfort and eae. And all the while missing the real reason we are here, andt he diversity of culture. That life is more than just a white anglosaxon minivan driving version of reality. I'm too impatient to read the whole article. I'm on a schedule today. The one day in years where I actually have a schedule.
Maybe it's because at 18, I was 95 pounds. Maybe being the smallest kid out of 1200 made me realize the feeling of sidelines. But there is a side to me that also sees it both ways. The fact that I was the finest trumpet player in most of my entire state, put me on a pedestal. So this bedroom community phenomena didn't destroy me, totally.
This article is probably more important than people will realize. There is a political ramification which I believe led us to our present situation. In a nutshell, the need for safety played right into the hands of the politicians.

That's how I see this article. It's not about kids. It's about society. Or rather the lack of one that gives true satisfaction. Togetherness in a community garden. Or biking to work instead of careening around like a zombie on zanax in a Chevy Tahoe.

Damnit, I have a house to sell. Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!

[Thirtieschild]

24. From my own experience....

In the early 60s we lived in an Atlanta suburb. Everything - homes, decor, everything - was so much the same that I felt that the Universe could play musical houses, one night moving every family to a different house, and that we would all wake up in the morning with no idea that we'd been moved. Fast forward: we moved into the City of Atlanta and years later, at different times, two of our kids dated kids from the suburbs. Each one made the same comment - they're all alike, same hair, same clothes, same everything. What I saw in the parents, my children saw in their children.

[bloom]

25. I was thinking about this

recently - reading "What's the Matter with Kansas" - the Twinkie-ness of suburbia. The disconnect from reality.

Small town living has it's problems as well - but it seems more "real". Still has similar problems for nerds and "misfits", though.

[Flirtus]

26. Wonderful!

"What you can't say"

What would future generations find ridiculous about us?

K&R ! over and over !

[myrna minx]

27. This was such a powerfully profound essay to me.

I was a total nerd *and* freak. Wow. I'm totally speechless.

[Ignis]

28. Very true.

I grew up moving around the world, living in big cities most of the time and often having playmates of a different race, class, religion, and/or language. My partner grew up in entirely in California, and mostly in the boonies or the 'burbs, surrounded by other children of exactly the same background.

It's amazing to see how different our perception of the 'burbs is now: I can't stand to be very far from a metropolitan area, whereas she loves the bigger homes and lower rents of the 'burbs.

Can we blame Mother Nurture for this one? :)

[SmokingJacket]

30. Good essay -- not just suburbs, though.

I grew up in a small town, barely made it out alive.

I know of several suicides from that school, actually.

Seems like the musicians among us had a better time in high school -- I knew it was a good thing that my elementary school kids are into music...

[butterfly77]

32. If you look at the Christian right or repugs or whatever

they call themselves they are still trying to perpetrate this myth on their children. They are homeschooling and trying to build a town of their own like tom monihan and they really believe that they are protecting their children. When these children grow up and realize who and what is in the real world for some it will be devastating. This is the same thing as making americans believe that they are the only people in the world and that the world thinks like them.

[AuntiBush]

33. This is Why

I'm moving back to the city I grew-up in. Moved to the burbs assuming everything was so much better. It is not. Just shop-a-holics, consumerville, no contact rather long arm-distances with a community college teaching not history, but agendas for political reasons.

It is exactly as undergroundpanther describes, and some. Great post.

[gordontron]

34. god I know we really need good urban planning

:kick:

[tblue37]

35. I have been a fan of Graham's for a long time.

I often use his essays when I teachmy English 101 class. My students like him, too.

[berni_mccoy]

36. "Why do people move to suburbia?"

Because it's too DAMN EXPENSIVE in the city.

Sorry, but I don't buy the premise of this essay. Whether or not suburbia is boring depends on how you look at it. Do you need places to go, see and do, like shopping malls, theaters, museums, aquariums, or are friends, nature trails, bicycle riding, play-grounds more your style?

It's not designed to be boring. It *can* be boring, but so can city life. The first time you get cable t.v., you have all these channels and it's so very exciting until you realize nothing is on that you haven't seen before. The same is true about the city.

And you could say the same about schools no matter where you go. The bottom line, is people need education. And letting every kid learn on their own would be utter anarchy. You need *some* structure (exactly how much and in what manner is up for debate, but we've grown accustom to a certain level in this country).

Didn't you ever go on field trips? Didn't you participate in *any* social events, sports or extra-curricular activities? If not, you missed out on the best parts of school, and that kind of stuff is available in any public school.