RW columnist in my college newspaper swinging his dick around again

[Rocknrule]

"Have you ever been at a house party or at a bar and one guy is causing trouble for everyone? You know the guy; he is about 5-foot-5-inches tall, 175 pounds, and he feels it necessary to try and fight every big guy he runs into. Whether he has self-esteem issues or is trying to impress a girl, this guy is always talking smack and most of the time getting himself hurt because of it.

Of course you do. We all know a guy like this and I bring it up today in light of the fact that Iran is once again threatening the Western world with its military might. Now some of you may be wondering how the two circumstances correlate, so let me explain further. You see, every time the world gets together for a party, one of the little guys (i.e. Iran or North Korea) has to ruin the good time by trying to get into a fight.

For example, on Sunday www.MSNBC.com reported that Iran has completed successful tests on an underwater missile. Gen. Ali Fadavi, the deputy head of the Navy of the elite Revolutionary Guards, then claimed to state-run television that it is the fastest underwater missile in the world and that "...no warship can escape from the missile because of its high speed." This was an obvious show of strength for the Iranians intended to intimidate their potential enemies.

The article went on to state that since the United States imposed weapons embargo of the 1980s Iran has developed tanks, armored personnel carriers, missiles and a fighter plane. That's right, they have a fighter plane. Congratulations Iran, you are well on your way to world dominance.

Oh, but what about that nuclear program that Iran is so fond of flaunting to the world? Well, in reality, most experts believe under optimal conditions Iran is still ten years - yes, a whole decade - away from developing the technology they would need to create nuclear weapons. And "optimal conditions" certainly doesn't include endless sanctions by the world community I'm sure.

But, like most of the little guys with bad attitudes, Iran brought one of their friends to the party: North Korea. Kim Jong-Il and his stepchild, the U.S.S.R communist nation, have been creating just as much of a stir recently with their admittance that they have already secretly developed a nuclear bomb.
North Korea though has already made veiled threats to the world and to the United States in particular, about their willingness to use their new weapon. CNN reported in February that as early as April of 2003 North Korea had admitted in private talks to having "at least one nuclear bomb."

Never mind that they have no way of delivering that bomb into the United States or even getting it anywhere near U.S. assets. Even if they could transfer that nuclear technology into the form of a ballistic missile, the missile technology that North Korea currently employs could barely get the nuke out of Asia, according to a report by Joseph S. Bermudez Jr. of the Center for Non-Proliferation Studies.

Maybe Kim Jong-Il could borrow Iran's fighter plane to carry its one nuclear bomb. Then maybe the two countries would present a legitimate threat.

Until that happens, however, I would suggest both little guys stop ruining the party for everyone else before one of the big guys hosting the party punches them in the mouth and throws them out in the street."

These people just love to start shit, don't they?

[meegbear]

1. If they have a LTTE section ..

ask why doesn't he stand up and enlist or shut up.

[BOSSHOG]

2. Especially when it would be such an easy job

taking on a little guy. I'm sure he'd rather serve his country in some other capacity, like growing into a monster like jackemoff or delay.

[Rocknrule]

6. I wouldn't be the first

This guy is the most controversial, most unpopular columnist on the paper. Many other students have tried to get him fired.

[MnFats]

3. where IS this s*** published?

puuuleeeeze let us know .

[MrModerate]

4. Apparently there's no test for brainlessness . . .

That editors at your college's paper have to pass.

If you go the LTTE route, you might just point out that rolling a functional nuke downhill to Seoul and detonating it would -- all by itself -- pretty much ruin the world's whole day. A world that -- even if this editorial jerk doesn't realize it -- includes the US.

[RagingInMiami]

5. Have you ever been at a party and there is that overweight buffoon

standing by the keg? He is the one that harrasses all the men and woman who are filling their cups with beer. He is loud, boorish and culturally ignorant. He is always instigating trouble, always threatening to kick somebody's ass.

When someone tells him to keep it down because someone might call the cops, he insists that the rules were not made for him. He always ends up in a fight, then later claims he had no choice because he was attacked first. But it's obvious that wasn't the case.

By the way, he has a Texan accent.

[NanceGreggs]

7. Sounds like he's talking about BUSH!

"... one guy is causing trouble for everyone. You know the guy; he is about 5-foot-5-inches tall, 175 pounds, and he feels it necessary to try and fight every big guy he runs into."

"... every time the world gets together for a party, one of the little guys has to ruin the good time by trying to get into a fight."

"... like most of the little guys with bad attitudes ..."

[GDAEx2]

8. Never mind the content...

this guy simply cannot write!
What does this mean? "Kim Jong-Il and his stepchild, the U.S.S.R communist nation, have been ..."

[jmowreader]

9. Last I checked North Korea has a submarine force

And South Korea is thoroughly dependent on international trade, which is conducted by sea.

Thinkin' out loud...North Korea could put their one nuclear weapon on a submarine, have condemned prisoners drive it to Ulsan Harbor in South Korea--Hyundai is the most famous South Korean-based company to manufacture in Ulsan but it's not the only one--and destroy the South Korean economy for years to come.

[BrklynLiberal]

10. Innundate him with military enrollment forms.

Have everyone mail them to him or leave them for him at the office of the school paper.

[Rocknrule]

11. He is pretty much a budding Ann Coulter

making outlandish claims that every liberal is a traitor, mostly just for shock value