I can't watch or listen to him anymore, but this is amazing.

[Jane Austin]

From today's speech at Johns Hopkins, these come via first-draft.com

**Son of Complete, Blithering Nonsense

I believe they're bound -- these folks are bound by an ideology. I know that they have got desires. They say it. This is one of -- this is a different -- this is a war in which the enemy actually speaks out loud. You heard the letter I wrote -- read from -- they didn't speak out loud on this one, but nevertheless, it's a -- we've got to take their word seriously.


**What's An "Integral"?

Economic development provides hope. And so, you bet. It's an integral of our policy.


**The Valley Girl President

And so we're in a world where everything is like supposed to happen that way.


**He Also Has A Prehensile Tail

I've got a pretty good antennae. I'm able to -- see, I get a pretty good sense of how people are trending.

More at http://www.first-draft.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=5728&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0


(Edit: I messed up the quote block)

[elehhhhna]

1. K&R for the prehensile tail remark.

[The Backlash Cometh]

2. WTF? He doesn't pay attention to polls, even states he's proud

of not bowing down to public pressure, yet he claims to "get a pretty good sense of how people are trending."

WTF? WTF? and WTF?

[roguevalley]

39. he's what you get when someone never hears the truth about themselves

and only accolades.

[beam me up scottie]

3. ROFLMAO!!!

The Presidency Is No Place for a Smart person

We're a influential nation, and so, therefore, many problems come to the Oval Office. And you don't know what those problems are going to be, which then argues for having smart people around. That's why you ought to serve in government if you're not going to be the President. You have a chance to influence policy by giving good recommendations to the President.

I know what you mean, I feel like my head is going to explode whenever I hear him say new-q-ler.

Thank the FSM I killed my tv so I don't have to watch him anymore.

[Jane Austin]

4. I usually turn the volume off as soon as I realize it's him.

A couple of months ago he made a speech from the oval office about Iraq.

With the sound off, he looked like he was playing the bongos.

Speeded up on the TiVo, it was really FAST bongos! :)

I wonder which consultant told him to keep his hands on the desk?

[beam me up scottie]

7. Snort!

I wonder how much time they have to spend working with him before each appearance?

Must be like trying to teach a lizard to sit, stay and speak.

A retarded lizard.

[Olney Blue]

27. Excuse me while I throw up.

[beam me up scottie]

28. I've had the dry heaves

for almost six years.

[Olney Blue]

29. It starts to take a physical toll.......

:banghead:

[beam me up scottie]

31. Hence the dead tv.

I have to control my exposure, too much can be mortal.

I love my DU reality filter. :D

[mom cat]

5. Is he under stress? Maybe he needs to change his

deoderant.

[Dudley_DUright]

6. "Its an integral of our policy"

Obviously Bush knows calculus. In quasi-Mathematica syntax: Economic Development = Integrate{policy,x} :sarcasm:

[Jane Austin]

10. That particular sentence is pretty good evidence

that he either memorizes his lines or he's being fed them.

Nobody would leave out the noun in a sentence like that. Well, nobody who's speaking on his own.

[mwb970]

17. It's like when he tries to say "I wanted people to see the truth".

First he says "I wanted to see the people..." as if it works that way too, or like he doesn't actually know what he is saying.

'...But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it.

[BrklynLiberal]

8. He is like some sort of robot whose wires are short-circuiting.

[Fridays Child]

9. Rove needs to reel him in and make some adjustments to his meds.

Meanwhile...gods, I miss President Clinton. :cry:

[Jane Austin]

11. Hell, this clown makes me miss Reagan!

Jeez, I never thought I could ever say that.

[barbtries]

26. gawd do i hear that...

i never thought i'd see the day we'd have a president i'd despise more than nixon. or more destructive - and such fodder for laughs.

[eppur_se_muova]

49. Hell, he makes me miss Bush Sr. His blather was funnier. nt

[sellitman]

15. Hell...I miss President Gore & Kerry

I almost can't remember Clinton.

[greenbriar]

12. sense this asshole

vision my bare bottom in a mooning position

[WinkyDink]

13. TRANSPARENT, as always:

"...enemy actually speaks out loud. You heard the letter I wrote -- read from...."

[Roland99]

14. He's flustered as his ass is planted firmly against a wall.

[opihimoimoi]

16. Even Mongo from Blazing Saddles sound smarter...Damn.

[kineneb]

22. "Mongo not know, Mongo just pawn in game of life." n/t

[opihimoimoi]

43. Mongo ended up as a hero......

[Hubert Flottz]

45. Shrub speaks perfect Mumbo Jumbo...

And he's the best the GOP has to offer the country and the world...I rest my freakin' case!

[opihimoimoi]

46. The REST are worse than HIM????!!!!!! OMG??? We have been going backward

Haven't we???

[Hubert Flottz]

47. Deport Bush...

Can't speak English!

[opihimoimoi]

50. In Citizenship Class, the place where you have to demonstrate

knowledge of simple American History and Culture....Bush would fail with an F...

I agree, deport....

[tabasco]

18. I will never live down this embarrassment to America for

the rest of my life.

I could live to be 200 and still be embarrassed by the Chimperor.

[K8-EEE]

19. Umm.....San Fernando Valley Native Here....

He is NOT The Valley Girl President! I'm like so sure....as IF! As if any true Val would have started this groady war. Not even~! Gag me!!

Other than that...loved it!

PS -- Now I know how my gay DUer pals feel when people claim * is gay and people start going NO HE'S NOT!! HE IS NOT GAY! SHUT UP! lol, I'm gettin' all that.

[electropop]

20. An integral is the mathematical accumulation over time of a function.

For example, the integral of Bush's policy is:

2300+ US Soldiers dead
30,000-100,000 Iraqi innocents dead
80,000 US soldiers maimed
100 million voters robbed
$9 Trillion national debt

It's called the calculus of despair.

[Lisa]

21. great point! and -- calculus is "tiny stone" in Latin ...

Which is also a pretty good description of what Bush seems to have in place of a heart.

[electropop]

25. And for a brain.

Oh, and calculus is also that nasty yellow stuff that collects on dirty teeth. ;-)

[lostnfound]

30. Excellent, excellent comment. nt

[lostnfound]

32. No wonder he's acts like he's against integration.

Are they any good at differentiation?

[electropop]

37. Hah! Well, can they differentiate a Saudi from an Iraqi?

Can they differentiate fact from fancy?

[lostnfound]

41. They can differentiate rich from poor.

(Otherwise they wouldn't be able to implement policies that favor the former over the latter 100% of the time.)

[electropop]

48. How remarkable.

They can see when they choose to.

[habitual]

23. parts can be seen here

i have put together a little group of clips from his speach, the **Son of Complete, Blithering Nonsense bit is on there as well as others...

http://www.runbutcanthide.com/

[hedgehog]

24. Did you catch the wink?

It's bad enough to know that he's lying, but when he drops a wink while he's lying!?!?!

[beam me up scottie]

33. I can't believe he's capable of controlling tiny facial muscles.

He can't even f*cking walk.

[Golden Raisin]

34. I am so repulsed by him that the instant his

image appears on the screen its as if someone punched me in the gut. I cannot bear to look at him and cannot change the channel fast enough.

[Iris]

35. And some people think there should be a literacy test for citizenship in

this country.

Hey! Wait a minute. . . that might not be such a bad idea after all?

[peekaloo]

36. LOL! He's been "Trendspotting"!

:rofl:

batshit, bugfuck crazy he is.

[SammyWinstonJack]

38. He doesn't know of which he speaks, that much is obvious.

Nothing he says ever makes any sense! If it's all an act, he's really good at it. Personally, I think he is dumber than the West Texas dirt of his childhood home.

[New Earth]

40. is this real?

[Jane Austin]

42. Do you mean Did he really say all that today"?

Yep, he did.

The parts immediately following the asterisks are captions given by the folks at first-draft.com.

[baby_mouse]

44. Human Beings and Fish.

That was it for me.

[Jemmons]

51. He has just got the mind of a lier - the language is a dead giveaway

There is a certain form of "acceptance" involved in speaking the truth: you let the subject-matter invoke descriptive words according to your habits of language which on their side embody the rules of you language. Mark Twain said that the truth is easier to remember, but its also the case that it is easier to put into words. If you want to put some subject-matter into words, but want to control the process so that the resulting sentence gets a meaning determined in advance and by something else than the subject-matter, then you have a conflict and the resulting language will display strange tensions. This is probably what is picked up by lie detectors in terms of subtle change in pitch or in heart frequency. But in the end it will probably be witnessed by sentences which look a bit like train-accidents. Sleek liars will learn to clean up while in process, but Boy George is probably too much of a frat-boy to get it working. Or alcohol has damaged the involved brain centers.

"I believe they're bound -- these folks are bound by an ideology. I know that they have got desires. They say it. This is one of -- this is a different -- this is a war in which the enemy actually speaks out loud. You heard the letter I wrote -- read from -- they didn't speak out loud on this one, but nevertheless, it's a -- we've got to take their word seriously."

These are a kind of bonzai-sentences: you can se growth crippled by correction and abuse all the way from the first idea to the final assertion. The tight control over any meaning trying to leave his lips always wins over the spontaneous creativity of language. He would not recognize free speech if it shook his head by the ears.

The tendency to predetermine the formulating process also have another effect on his language: The tendency to decorate his phrases with words that he dont really know the proper use of, but which "sounds good": "It's an integral of our policy". I'm quite sure that Bush is just trying to emulate people using the phrase "integral part", but as he never understood the difference between "part" and "integral part" there is nothing to make him prefer "part" to "integral". And for all his "texan" mannerisms, * is just another snob, who wants to pretend to be what he is not.

There has been several post about the gop Newspeak and this is key to the way that newspeak works internaly.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

52. LOL! K&R!