I just had a horrible thought.

[Kutjara]

I was reading the coverage of the latest Board of Education lunacy in Kansas when a most unwelcome thought crept into my mind: what if they're right? Now hang on a minute and hear me out before flaming me to a crisp. Here's what got me thinking.

Kathy Martin and her cronies are absolutely adamant that the theory of evolution is "disproven." While the rest of us understand that this theory is, in fact, one of the most firmly supported scientific concepts, the Kansas Cabal maintain that it is not. Setting aside for the moment the presumption that they are either lying or stupid, let's think about how they could have come to such a conclusion.

I would imagine that, rigorous hunters after the truth that they are, the Kansas Board of Education would have commissioned scientific studies from the best minds available to them. They would have contacted university bioscience departments and private genomics companies, and asked them to "prove" whether evolution was true or not.

Here's where I think things went wrong. For political and funding reasons, the Kansas Board of Education was only allowed to approach researchers in Kansas. In addition, these researchers were only permitted to use biological and fossil samples actually gathered within the borders of Kansas. Naturally, given the limitations imposed by these rules, the researchers would have come to the same conclusion that any casual observer of life in Kansas would reach: Evolution does not happen there.

Now, this brings up an interesting possibility for future study. Is there a previously undiscovered chemical compound, atmospheric gas or energy field that stops the process of evolution in Kansas? Does this evolution-damper affect all who enter the unevolved zone or only those who were born within its range of influence? Can the damper be used to cure diseases (by preventing harmful mutations) or protect species (by 'locking-in' their genomes). The possibilities are mind-boggling.

It doesn't seem that the evolution-damper can be used to "reverse" evolution, however. In the words of Ms Martin (the leading expert in the field), "we aren't going to turn back into monkeys." No indeed.

So before we cast more odium on Ms. Martin and her fellow travellers, let us consider for a moment that we may be ignoring one of the most profound scientific discovery of all time. And it was discovered by a bunch of Kansas Fundies. A sobering thought indeed.

[Warpy]

1. Well, I hate to bust ya bubble, but

http://www.keystonegallery.com/fossils/bonner_family/bonner_family.html

Western Kansas is a treasure trove of fossils. You'd think one of the places evolution would sell the best is one of the states where the record was intact, wouldn't you?

The problem with Kansas is that they only consult biblical scholars. They don't bother to ask scientists because they know they won't like the answers they get and we all know how desperately people cling to lunacy, the more lunatic the more desperately they cling to it.

So they really do think evolution has been disproven: it's been disproven by the bible.

[Kutjara]

3. My weak attempt at satire was aimed at showing..

...that there has been no evolution between the time of the fossil record and the current inhabitants of Kansas. They're all dinosaurs. Oh well, guess I won't give up my day job.

[datadiva]

9. Not lost on me

I thought your post was hilarious. Way to go! :toast:

[Redstone]

2. Well, no.

Sorry about that, but no.

Redstone

[muntrv]

4. How does the University of Kansas survive

with all these fundies? Ms. Martin is really the head of propaganda.

[Kutjara]

7. I think they must...

...spend all of their time doing the "research" that underlies those endless History Channel programs like "The Science Behind Noah's Ark" and "Did Jesus Clone The Loaves and Fishes."

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. Well I am an alum and an educator

and I can tell you that KU largely ignores this crap. These people on the state board are as embarrassing as Fred Phelps.

They also don't speak for ALL Kansans. Not even close.

[Kutjara]

13. Thanks for the heads-up, proud2

Its a relief to see that sanity rules some corners of the Sunflower State.

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. It is a very small group of nutjobs

Please don't judge us all by the behavior of a few fundie twits.

[peacetalksforall]

5. Very clever. Go fot it. Create a journal. I'm smiling - wide! n/t

[MichiganVote]

6. Fundamentalists don't evolve....so they don't expect anything else to

All fundies do is mutate from one fungal religious idiocy to another.

[mike_c]

8. LOL-- that was very good....

Excellent post! Some folks around here are evidently humor challenged.

[cynatnite]

10. Maybe my expert opinion can help

Is there a previously undiscovered chemical compound, atmospheric gas or energy field that stops the process of evolution in Kansas?

Surprisingly enough, there is a recently discovered chemical that stopped evolution in KS. It's the brain farts expelled by the RW evangelicals.

Scientists have yet to explain this phenomenon.

[Ikari Gendo]

11. Another unprovable theory

I want to see the Kansans point out that, just like evolution, gravity is an unproven theory full of holes and weird science (super strings? warped space? gravitic lensing of massless photons?).

They need to teach children that gravity is the result of divine will combined with the weight of their own sins holding them down.

And I hope the school board will keep an open mind about gravity as they approach high windows.

[newyawker99]

15. Hi Ikari Gendo!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast: