Dear Agent Mike

[cornermouse]

Have I got a deal for you. If you want a set of my fingerprints, you can find them on the waterpipe under the house where I just (probably unsuccessfully) tried to repair a pipe. If, like me, you don't have any plumbing expertise be sure to bring a plumber with you so that he can replace the pipe you take.

:hi:

Thanks.

[electropop]

1. Hah!

nice one.

[shance]

I figure he could at least make himself useful and do some of my laundry

while he's snooping through my house and computer.

***

[cornermouse]

3. Even better.

:)

[guinivere]

7. Great idea!

Dear Agent Mike,

While I am at work, please do the following while snooping:

- unload dishwasher
- there is a load of towels by the washer, you know what to do
- sweep and mop kitchen floor
- throw the ball in the yard for my dog

Thanks.

[Richard D]

8. Hey,

If anyone wants to do my laundry, clean house, wash the car, bathe the dog, take out the trash, etc., they can snoop all they want. I'll even negotiate some things off for the right secret agent . . . specially if she's a babe.

[Incitatus]

2. Dear Agent Mike,

Fuck You!

[oblivious]

4. Could you keep us updated on your anthrax investigation?

There's a few of us as interested as I'm sure you are, Agent Mike, in knowing who was terrorizing America.

[baldguy]

5. Dear Agent Mike

As you know, someone hit my car in the Target parking lot last Thursday. Do you have pictures of them? If so, please forward them to my address.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

6. Hey Mikey, you already have mine!

Look back a decade or so, but they are there.

[flyarm]

9. dear agent mike..

..i just want to warn you..don't come sneaking up on me..i keep a 24" knife under my mattress..very sharp..and a louiville slugger bat..harmon kilabrew bat..the biggest bat ever made... right by my hand while i sleep..i have practiced using it for 30 years...i can swing it very hard from a cold sleep....like i said Agent Mike..don't come sneaking up on me...i am pretty jumpy!!..it won't be pretty..
oh and i have had security training..and self survival training..i may be tiny..but i am fast! ..very fast!!

but if you should get in..oh i do love breakfast in bed!..coffee.. cream and sugar....but watch it Agent Mike..announce yourself first!

fly

[havocmom]

10. Dear Agent Mike, you are welcome to any info you can find on the desk

I dare you.

[tnlefty]

13. ROFL!! I just glanced at my desk and it's a mess!

Personal stuff, candidate campaign stuff, and I've got a ton of stuff to file on top of the filing cabinet!

[northofdenali]

11. Dear Agent Mike-

All my recently encoded secret information is in the plastic bag under the kitty litter in the cat box. If you decide to retrieve same, please clean the cat box first.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

12. Dear Mike. Please note:

They do not hide their Tootsie Rolls in the catbox, so please do not nosh.

[Horse with no Name]

14. I just wish when he visited my computer today

That he would have at least rebooted.:)