What ever happened to smiting?

[Cyrano]

Let's face it. Way back when, there was a deity with a short fuse. Screw around with him/her/it and ZAP, you got whacked.

Not only did this deity smite people, but also expected orders to be followed to the letter. No exceptions. Some guy's told to take his family, leave town, and don't look back. The wife takes one teeny peek and BLAM, she's suddenly a giant salt lick for goats.

Now that may have been a bit extreme, but check today's penalty list. There isn't one. Anybody gets to do whatever they want to do (unless they're poor and/or a minority) and nothing happens.

Steroid use? Great. A media that ignores facts or lies about them? Super. Congresspeople renting 18-wheelers to haul away the loot? Dandy. A White House filled with murderous, thugs with no consciences? So What? Smiting? Pillars of salt? Plagues? No problem. Don't give 'em a second thought. Just grab what you can get for yourself and let everyone else look out for themselves.

I'm not religious, but I can't help but feel sorry for those who believed the fairy tales they were told as kids. And still do.

[dolo amber]

1. You never see a good hobbling anymore, either

:shrug:

[Chiyo-chichi]

2. A colleague told me recently

that she heard a family pray loudly in a reasaurant "Please smite our enemies and increase our territories."

I guess smiting is still big in certain circles.

[meegbear]

3. Smiting has been smitten ...

Those were the days.

[Chiyo-chichi]

5. That would be a good fundie bumpersticker.

Pic of God throwing thunderbolt.
"I'm Smitten with Smiting."

Or maybe not.

[Warpy]

4. The continued glory days of Falwell, Robertson, LaHaye, Reed,

Terry, Dobson, and all of that foul ilk can bring one two either of two conclusions: either there is no god or people have been worshipping the wrong one.

The spoilt teenager god of the OT would never have put up with any of them.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

6. Smiting was pretty hit and miss

back then. But you never know. When you go to Washington there are a LOT of statues. Maybe they are really blocks of salt?!

Now, personally, whenever I have really needed someone smote, even just a tad, because they wronged me...I have found if I lay off and do nothing, they eventually "get theirs." "Vengeance is Mine, Saith the Lord!"

Or in the words of the Beatles..."let it be...let it be...let it be... let it be."

[Cyrano]

17. Hi, TG. But how about just one lightning bolt striking Karl Rove?

I mean one, lousy little lightening bolt. Would I get sentenced to spending a year as a conservative? Two?

(I know you're serious and I'm not, but at least let me fantasize just a little before I go stark raving mad and accidentally vote for a Republican.)

[TallahasseeGrannie]

23. You wait

it won't be lightning..too obvious. But he will be smote. Smitten. Smited. Whatever. I promise.


T-Grannie

[Buns_of_Fire]

37. All I can say is, don't stand too close to Rover anytime soon.

We all know the hazards of second-hand smote.

[MADem]

7. Smiting has been outsourced to BushCo

Only THEY are allowed to decide who fries, and who doesn't.

[Cyrano]

13. Now that makes sense. And it probably got subcontracted to Halliburton.

[unblock]

8. one look at mrs. unblock and i was smitten!

but perhaps that's not what you're talking about....

:evilgrin:

[KG]

9. heck, i'd settle for a occasional stoning.

[porphyrian]

10. I do, but I'd like to have it all the time.

What?

[Kutjara]

11. I haven't seen...

...any angels pouring cups upon the water lately either.

Or maybe I read too far ahead.

[Hoping4Change]

34. 'maybe I read too far". This thread is killing me.

:rofl:

[Canuckistanian]

12. I miss sackcloths and ashes

You can't get decent sackcloth anywhere and even ashes ain't what they used to be.

[Cyrano]

16. A million dollar idea. Hand out flyers near a fundie church that you're

starting an arts and crafts class for making sackcloth and ashes.

Play it right and in one year, you'll be able to retire to Monaco.

[Canuckistanian]

21. Monaco!

You know, I think I'm starting to get religion.... Say, brother, have you found Jesus?

[Rude Horner]

14. This whole thread has me rofl

The laughs help keep me sane. :rofl:

[BlackHeart]

15. It was a lot more fun to be

a believer back then, huh? You just knew that if someone sinned he'd get a nice little lightning bolt to the head and you could point at him and say "See?".

[Cyrano]

19. Gee, I don't know. Anyone who pulled off that pillar of salt show, really

needs to have his/her/its sanity questioned. Let's face it, suppose you were standing by some evil blasphemer and got hit by a lightning bolt by mistake?

Parting the Red Sea is one thing. Who would be incompetent enough to pick the wrong sea? But pitching a lightning bolt requires some precision. Too bad they didn't have Kevlar vests around back then.

[Jim Warren]

18. Pat Robertson's version

[Cyrano]

20. LOL. Beautiful.

[Jim Warren]

22. Hey Cyrano

This holy week thing gettin' ya all religified??

"Oh Moses, oh Moses you fool!"

[Cyrano]

30. Few know that a chocolate bunny stuffed with matzos is an aphrodisiac.

[Tesha]

24. I think God had a terrible smiting accident...

One day, God was about to smite someone. He'd already pulled
the pin on the old smitegrenade, but then a butterfly landed
on his nose and he dropped the grenade, pin out.

And the rest (and God) was, as they say, history.

Tesha

[Igel]

25. Yahweh only smote those that

were of "his people" that were really bad, or those doing really bad, unauthorized, things to his people. If you don't want to be smitten, don't be one of "the chosen people" or have much to do with them.

I read little of his smiting rulers in other nations that had little to do with Israel. What would be the point?

So the modern parallel would be that lack of smiting means ...

[Cyrano]

27. Ummm, Yahweh discovered some top-shelf Hawaiian weed?

[Igel]

32. Oh, there's a really cynical possibility,

and a really self-congratulatory one.

I go with the cynical one. Of course.

[tjwash]

26. I prefer striking someone with my "rod" and my "staff"

A lot of deeply buried sex issues in the old testament...

[Hoping4Change]

35. Where does it say people got struck with the rod and staff.

I thought the rod and staff provided comfort. B-)

[tjwash]

36. I thought they provided "much wailing and gnashing of teeth"

I don't know why, but that one always cracked me up.

[Richard Steele]

28. It still happens, they just don't write books about it anymore.

You know, when Mel Gibson was filming 'Passion of the Christ'
the actor playing Jesus was struck by lightning...

TWICE.
2 seperate occasions.

And did anyone change their ways?
Nope.

I think Jehova has just backed off on the smiting
because it has proven to be such an ineffective management tool.

[tjwash]

29. You better watch out...

[Horse with no Name]

31. My Brother got "cast out" last year

He is a Sgt. in the Marines and he told some guys in his company that they couldn't read their Bible when they were supposed to be working.
He said they stood up and turned their back on him and "cast him out".
I suggested he smite them...not sure if he did.:)

[Hoping4Change]

33. After a tiny peek "a giant salt lick for goats" . Bwahahahahahahah

:rofl:

[Cyrano]

38. Yep. We're talking about a dude badly in need of Thorzine.

[Canuckistanian]

39. My dad once turned around to look at something

And he turned into a telephone pole! Bah-dum-bum!

Thank You! I'm here til Saturday. Try the hummus!