Cows and politics

[LuckyTheDog]

LIBERAL: You have two cows.Your neighbor has none. The government taxes the milk and uses part of the proceeds to provide student loans and small business loans. Your neighbor buys more of your milk, so you buy a third cow. Eventually, your neighbor offers to buy one of your cows... and you go into the cow-brokering business.

CONSERVATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. The government cuts the taxes charged on your milk production and you buy another cow. Meanwhile, your neighbor's job gets shipped to China. The government tells him to work harder and hope for the best.

NEOCONSERVATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbor (that atheistic, un-American freeloader) has none. Dubya cuts your taxes, so you buy a third cow and give God all the praise and the glory for your good fortune. Bush also borrows money from the Chinese and uses it to buy a sickly cow (from Halliburton) for your neighbor. Bush then hires a faith-based group to teach your neighbor how to care for cows in a Biblical manner. Your neighbor has to sell the cow when his job is shipped to China, but Bush gives him a $400 tax rebate check (using money borrowed from the Chinese) to make him feel better. Then Bush starts a war and gives $400 billion to Halliburton (also borrowed from the Chinese).

[shoelace414]

1. correction..

CONSERVATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. The government cuts the taxes charged on your milk production and you could afford to buy another cow, but nobody can afford the milk because they are unemployed.

[Sammy Pepys]

2. Reminds me of this one:

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes them both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Yours neighbors pick somone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other one and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. In triplicate.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors take the cows and kill you.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

[Uncle Joe]

3. Neocon: You have two cows,

Dick Cheney accidentally shoots them while in a drunken stupor hunting for puppies. You are forced to apologize for your cows getting in the way of his aim. Your phones and computer are tapped by Bush and you are labeled as being Un American and the corpwhorate owned MSM claims you were raping the cows anyway and send you to GITMO. Cheney recieves Medal Of Freedom for putting cows out of their misery.

[dogday]

4. My Cows are dead

This bastard killed them