Do you support the idea of a student-organized gay prom? Please Vote!!!

[tandot]

On the left side under "Daily Extras" toward the bottom of the page.


http://www.kcra.com/index.html

Do you support the idea of a student-organized gay prom?
Choice Votes Percentage of 180 Votes
Yes 104 58%
No 76 42%


Please Vote. It has already gone down from 63% yes to 58%. We have a bunch of freepers around here who always freep our polls.

Thanks, DUers. :yourock:

[mzteris]

1. um - I'm not sure.

Why not have a prom for everyone where all are welcome?

isn't that a bit like having a segregated prom?

[donco6]

4. Safety.

As an adult, I can go to a party with my partner and not worry about being beat up, but I don't think I would have even considered it in high school, unless I knew I could go and be myself and be safe.

That's just me.

[tandot]

5. Because they would never be allowed to be themselves:

http://www.kcra.com/news/8666862/detail.html

Hundreds Expected At Tracy's Gay Prom

"Prom can be intimating to most people, especially gay and lesbian students," said Justin Daley, organizer of the prom. "When you have students with a same-sex partner, they are intimidated to go to a school function, especially one where they might be subjected to hate crimes."

At regular proms, not "everyone is welcome" especially if you are gay/lesbian.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

2. Sorry

A prom is a prom. Breaking it down to isolate anyone - gays, straights, blacks, whites - sucks.

Why seek segregation?

[beyurslf]

7. So we can feel safe and be ourselves.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

13. There's no such thing as safety in this world,

unless you create it for yourself. If you think you won't be safe at your prom, don't go. If you can't be yourself at your prom, don't go.

But setting up your own prom is an act of defeat, and, in the long run, does you more harm than good. You want to do something brave? Go to your prom and be yourself.

And make sure you've done your best to ensure your safety. Go with lots of friends.

But, do NOT isolate and segregate yourself. It flies in the face of every minority group and what they've been trying to accomplish for years and years.

Do NOT take that giant step backwards.

[TomInTib]

28. Missed you, baby...glad you're back.....

B

[OldLeftieLawyer]

33. Doing my best, kid

This is the only place where I can blow off steam safely these days. It helps.

And running into you is a bonus. Hope all is well and you're not getting mudslided. I thought of y'all when I saw that.

[TomInTib]

34. We are safe and enjoying an improbably sunny day...

meanwhile, a poor fella in Mill Valley was buried in mud not more that a coupla miles away.

Life is short, so we must fight the good fight.

B (and T)

[cynatnite]

9. agreed...prom for everyone should be promoted n/t

[xmas74]

3. No and for one reason.

It's segregation. GLBTs should be made to feel just as welcome at their school prom as anyone else. They attend that school. They should feel welcome at their prom and be able to bring the date of their choice.

If it's a schoolwide prom and is sponsored by the local GLBT club in school then that is an entirely different matter. I'd absolutely support that.

[tandot]

8. Apparently, they don't feel welcome and are often subjected to

hate and ridicule.

"...should feel just as welcome at their school prom as anyone else" ... yes, they should, but sadly, usually they are NOT.

[xmas74]

18. True.

But offering a prom exclusively for just one group would further subject them to ridicule and segregation.

It's the same as when my high school refused to allow teen mothers to the prom. At the time they also had some reservations about mixed race couples being allowed to the prom. FWIW, this was in the early 90's, not that long ago.

Separate but equal never works. The real fight should be to allow all to attend their own prom. I'd do just that by giving the GLBT organization at the high school the opportunity to sponsor the prom for all students. They'd hire the band, sell the tickets, set the venue, decorate.

I don't care how much some people might hate GLBT persons, this would work. Just try keeping a 17 year old girl away from her prom and there would be hell to pay.

Another thing the groups can do is to sponsor the after prom party. Killer party w/ a great band or dj, some fun activities and a no alcohol policy-most parents would be ok w/ sending their child.

I just hate the thought of segregating a group.

[cboy4]

20. Nobody said exclusively. As far as I know, they won't be having bouncers

to rough up straight kids who show up.

I'm pretty sure they're welcome also.

[xmas74]

23. I'm sure they are.

But I just don't like the tone that this could take.

We have a gay prom. Fine. What happens when a gay or lesbian couple wants to go to the schoolwide prom? This sets up the argument of them being banned from a school sponsored prom because "They already have one of their own." This shouldn't happen but I can someone trying to do just that.

At my school prom there was no chance to fight or get roughed up. Parents were everywhere-fathers did valet parking so that students could not go out to the parking lot at any time(the reason was so that no one could drink and then come back drunk), fathers stood in the boys restroom offering valet services, mothers did the same in the girls restroom. Dozens of people lined up the sides of the doors entering the prom, held at the high school. Parents were formally dressed and in every corner, on the dance floor, near the picture area, etc. There was no place that was not patrolled by parents and teachers. At that time they were worried about lewd behavior, drinking and drugging and fighting. No chance whatsoever-believe me, I tried to light up four times and realized that there was no where for me to go. And after prom was just as strict. Once you went inside you could not leave until the event was over at 8 am.

I just don't like how easy this could be turned into an opportunity to purposely exclude gays and lesbians from their school sponsored proms at a later date. And holding a gay prom could easily do just that.

The real key is to get parents involved, like they did at my high school. The more parents around, the harder it is to have an incident of harrassment.

[cboy4]

30. Nobody with any sense believes that because there are black

universities, black students shouldn't be allowed to attend San Diego State or Stanford because "they already have their own."

And if you think it's easy for gay kids to go to the straight prom and always feel welcome, just keep in mind:

There are still people in this world like a very vicious church group that will be protesting outside this gay prom in California in which they will be holding signs that read "God Hates

Fags" and "Sodomites."

Charming.

[tandot]

21. I understand where you are coming from

but the region where the students come from here in California is not as liberal as people think. Lots of conservatives here who can make your life miserable.

I agree with cboy4's post 19. If students would feel welcome and accepted, it would be totally different. They should be allowed to have as much fun as everyone else, but they don't.

[xmas74]

26. And I live in an even more conservative area.

I live in Central Missouri. At my high school prom in the early 90's a boy did bring another boy as his date. (I refer to them as boys because they were still quite young). They were both friends of mine and everyone knew they were seeing each other.

Nothing happened. We had so many parents around that there was no chance of anything happening. They did not have any PDA but there was a school policy of no PDA from anyone or you would be asked to leave. They danced, took their pictures together, ate and visited. No incidents there or at after prom either.

The key is parental involvment. The more parents actively involved, the less likely a chance of an incident occuring.

[beyurslf]

6. 54-46 now.

[TomInTib]

10. Yeah baby....then we need a jocks and cheeleaders prom, and

one for the kids that got over 1400 on their SATs, and one for the kids who don't have their own cars, and one for the kids who wear glasses...the possibilities are just endless.

[tandot]

12. Because they have to deal with as much hate as gays/lesbians?

yeah, jocks and cheerleaders really have a hard time at school - :eyes:

[TomInTib]

22. No, but we should pity the jocks and cheerleaders, because for

most of them, this is the high point of their lives. They rule the world in high-school, and then - for most of them - their glory days are over.

Once the hellish days of high-school are behind us, (WARNING: SWEEPING GENERALIZATION AHEAD) the nerds tend to become respected scientists and computer programmers, the weird ones move to the big cities and finally have a chance to become their fabulous selves - the singers, actors, writers, designers - etc. pretty much the arbiters of all that is cool and hip.

The old saw that everyone who makes the scene in New York was a loser in high-school has a large nugget of truth in it.

This is why we have high-school reunions. Pure revenge.

[marmar]

11. As much as I'd love for everyone...

to be accepted at the prom, regardless of who their date is, I know that's not always an option for gay and lesbian students because of the all-too-frequent negative reaction from peers, school officials and parents. That's why I voted yes. The world that we want to exist and the one that exists aren't the same yet.
I work at at newspaper, and when we ran a story on a gay student prepping for the prom and ran pictures of he and his date getting ready, 40 people called to cancel their subscriptions. I can totally understand the need for gay and lesbian students to enjoy a prom in an environment they feel is safe and accepting.

[tandot]

16. Thanks, Marmar

I wish everyone would just be accepted at proms or any other function. If they would be, they wouldn't have organized a separate prom.

[TomInTib]

25. Would you have been able to run that story 20 years ago?

Probably not. Maybe best to stay in the mainstream and keep pushing for acceptance. Staying apart and other keeps you apart and other.

[mondo joe]

14. My preference would be an inclusive prom. But if they feel the

need for a (more fun) prom for themselves, I wouldn't oppose it.

[walldude]

15. If they feel they need it then hell yeah let em' party!

Seems like some people here are willing to tell them no when they have no idea what it's like to be gay in high school. This kind of shit happens all the time. People who have no comprehension or knowledge of something seem to think it's ok for them to make decisions for people who are better equipped and better informed..

[bigwillq]

17. Done

Do you support the idea of a student-organized gay prom?
Choice Votes Percentage of 386 Votes
Yes 206 53%
No 180 47%
Thanks for taking part in our informal survey. Click here to e-mail us your thoughts.


I voted Yes.

[cboy4]

19. The question is whether gay students are welcome at the "regular"

prom.

I'd argue many are not in conservative school districts, which is where this California school is located.

Absolutely, I'd love to see more and more gay kids attend the regular prom because after awhile, hopefully it wouldn't be such a big deal for everyone.

But obviously, there are kids who don't see it that way right now, otherwise they wouldn't find a need to organize gay proms.

I don't think a gay prom hurts anyone AS LONG AS STRAIGHT kids are welcome to come as well.

[noamnety]

24. My daughter's school has the "Gender Bender"

It's not a segregated event; it's a huge deal campus-wide. It's endorsed on their website.

"MARLBORO, VT ­ Marlboro College community members who at one time may have sat in the bleachers at high school homecoming dances will strut their stuff at a dance created for everyone. The Marlboro Pride Queer Homecoming Dance is set for Saturday, Nov. 23 and will embrace all members of the Marlboro community, whatever their sexual preferences."

more: http://www.marlboro.edu/about/news/pr/2002/nov/01

[tandot]

27. Thanks to ALL of you for your arguments (positive & negative)

I appreciate the comments and you really made me see both sides.

It would be great if gay/lesbians would attend the regular prom and just stand up for themselves. Where would women be today if there would not have been women speaking up, marching, protesting, and fighting for our rights over a hundred years ago. The same can be said about racial minorities.

However, gays and lesbians have to deal with negative attitudes every day of their lives, so maybe they'll find some peace on prom night. Just one special night that they can be themselves and celebrate.

Maybe in a few years from now, this will not even be an issue anymore. I truly hope.

[robcon]

29. Who cares?

Not a biggy. Whatever floats their boats.

[Big Kahuna]

31. I am completely unsympathetic towards proms in general.

unless one is lurking in the rafters with a bucket of blood :evilgrin:

[porphyrian]

32. Sure, why not.

It's not like gay students are going to be getting into any more trouble than the straight ones, and the dancing would probably be better (to make a generalization that could piss some people off, but I don't really give a shit).