When I come back, in my next life, I'll be a man and use my penis for evil

[xultar]

and I'll rule the world and tell everyone what to do with their bodies.

I'm gonna lie like a mutherfuck and make my own religion and tell people to take everything I say literally.

I'm gonna hate everyone except those who believe in what I believe and I'm gonna damn everyone to a bad place if they defy me.

Please keep in mind defy me not the real god. I mean who in the world would want to believe the real god when they can believe the
polyester clad messenger.

That is all...back to the Shiraz...Glass 5.

[derby378]

1. Hoooookay...

This is what I get for not being on DU all afternoon. What the heck happened?

[ThomWV]

2. It Is Impossible to Use A Penis For Evil

They are inherently good.

[madeline_con]

7. Some men knowingly spread aids....

Do we have to wax philosophical about whether spreading death is "evil"? :popcorn:

[ThomWV]

10. So, The Question is: Can an Evil man have a good penis?

I say yes!

[madeline_con]

13. He was a class-A jerk, but the sex was phenomenal! eom

[xchrom]

15. i know that to be true for a fact.

[UncleSepp]

17. Oh hell yes. Evil, twisted, but good.

The person, not the penis. A twisted penis wouldn't be such a good thing.

[Humor_In_Cuneiform]

18. How long have you had this obsession? n/t

[xultar]

29. I would say yes but I'm sure the sex wouln't be as good.

[UncleSepp]

31. I dunno. I've had my fill of the evilest penis you can think of..

and it was damn good :evilgrin:

[xultar]

33. I'm saying that an evil man with a good penis = bad sex.

[UncleSepp]

35. Oh no. The sex is great. Really really great.

It's the hangover afterward... why, oh why, did I do that again?

[Jigarotta]

44. a zuchinni could give good sex.

if you're into the mechanical thing.

good sex starts in the brain, not the acoutrements.

[UncleSepp]

58. Gee, thanks, Mom.

My goodness, that had really never occurred to me. Thanks for the lecture in the middle of a humor thread. I'd let you in on what's so funny about the "sex with someone evil" joke, but I don't think you'd get it.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

38. And she professed roundly to the police that "he really does

love me while she peered out of her one good remaining eye".....

[Jigarotta]

40. true, it's the Vagina's that are the evil!!

[xultar]

46. NO WAY!

[kevinbgoode]

54. Well...I disagree. . .

But I had an EX who took his out shopping a lot.

They are only inherently good when they are wearing little Superman tights and cape...and can bust out of their ..um...booth with cape flying dramatically behind them. . .

[madeline_con]

3. Why would you want to do a thing like that?

You realize you're not allowing your soul to evolve if you come back as an evil being, right? ;)

[UncleSepp]

9. You'd be surprised at the evolution that can happen...

... after one evil lifetime ;-) Or maybe you wouldn't! It's like handicapping in a horse race. That extra baggage just means you're that much stronger!

[AlienGirl]

61. ...in bed!

[UncleSepp]

4. LOL! The dark side of the Schwartz!

Why wait? Get a detachable model and spraypaint it gold. Use it for your scepter!

[BlueEyedSon]

5. Why wait? Use your vagina for evil now!

I'm sorry, this was meant to be ironc/funny, but i just came out rude.
:shrug:

[madeline_con]

8. LOL! Iliked it. eom

[xultar]

19. It didn't sound rude. Just creative. I didn't know pocketbooks could

be evil...

pocketbook aka southern old lady for vagina.

[Humor_In_Cuneiform]

6. Hehe.

:rofl:

[xultar]

12. I think I'm gonna start a Blog. The ramblings of the drunken blogger.

Whaddaya thaink?

[BlueEyedSon]

20. Been done!

But don't let that stop you....
Don't forget to post/PM the URL!

[SmokingJacket]

11. I'm drinking Shiraz this fine evening, too...

:clink:

I'm going to come back as a cockroach, so I can survive the nuclear winter...

[xultar]

14. Make sure yto say hello to my penis!!!

[muntrv]

16. You're coming back as Pat Robertson?

[xultar]

22. He ain't got no penis. Furthermore he's molesting Christianity not

creating his own.

[madeline_con]

27. molsting...

you meant to type what?

[xultar]

30. spellcheck says molesting.

[madeline_con]

32. Ah yes, he is definitely a molester.

He fucks people's minds. :wow:

[ThomWV]

28. The Master Keeper Of The Keys nt

[xchrom]

21. whose shiraz?

[xultar]

24. A great wine varietal grown in Australia and other southern hemispheric

lands.

[xchrom]

43. oz does grow some good vines

and they do well with shiraz.

[MadMaddie]

23. Bwah...haw..haw...I knew it was you Xultar

you are too damn funny....I am going to have to try me some of that Shiraz.....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SmokingJacket]

25. Hey, are we about to have another drunk xultar thread?

That one from last year was toooo funny.

[xultar]

26. I'm nevah gonna live that down ahe?

[xultar]

34. This tread will be locked if we don't clean it iup people. Lets talk cats

or puppies.

[MadisonProgressive]

42. If you have a cat - I can provide a loving puppy!

Pass the bottle, beeotch! :toast:

[xultar]

45. Passing the bottle baybay

[MadisonProgressive]

47. That's some good shit, Madame X!

[Talismom]

55. I'm gonna come back as a well cared-for house cat. n/t

[Kenergy]

36. LOL! Excellent n/t

[Vinnie From Indy]

37. What about balls? Will your balls be evil too?

In addition to using your penis for evil, your balls will give something to scratch in the morning.

[xultar]

41. I love cojones. They can never be evil.

[FreakinDJ]

39. Laura said Bush was a Wimp in that department

[Talismom]

56. Well that's pretty obvious to all of us...didn't need her to tell us...n/t

[Jazz2006]

48. Hee hee - must be excellent Shiraz at that :)

:toast:

Thanks for the laughs ~ ~ ~ ~

[Freedom_from_Chains]

49. My wife really likes it when I use mine for evil.

:) :toast:

[xultar]

52. I bet she does. IF she decides to rent you out PM me.

Buhwawawawawawa!

[stellanoir]

50. I love you xultar

You are the best !!!

[xultar]

51. Then hook me up with ole boy! You know who I'm talkin about.

That guy is fantastic!

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

53. You Can Do That Now If You Want, Since It Has NADA To Do With Being A Man

or having a penis.

So why wait? Since it has nothing to do with gender or genitalia, if you want to do those things so much go for it! There's nothing in THIS life stopping you from doing it already.

[CatWoman]

57. I really love evil penises

:D

much more fun than the righteous ones

:D

[ContraBass Black]

60. That's not good news for me.

I have a very righteous penis.

[xultar]

64. Agreed.

[spacelady]

59. Penis, penis, penis, penis, PENIS!!!!

[xultar]

63. I agree!

[Chomp]

62. I try to

use my penis for evil every Saturday night. But, you know, good evil.

[Fenris]

65. Locking.

Do not post "flame bait" discussion topics.