Easter Bunny Tragically Slain by Vice President

[kpete]

Easter Bunny Tragically Slain by Vice President
by Dood Abides
Sun Apr 16, 2006 at 07:29:32 AM PDT

Casper, Wyoming (APE) - Millions of children worldwide awoke with tears of anguish and frustration and empty Easter baskets as they coped with the tragic news that the Easter Bunny was dead. He was slain early this morning in the predawn hours by Vice President Dick Cheney who was enjoying an Easter hunting expedition at a rabbit hunting farm south of Casper, Wyoming. The vice president had reportedly slain over 150 rabbits in the twilight hours before the incident occurred, and was packaging them as gifts for friends and families for their Easter dinners.

The local sheriff was reportedly investigating the incident. Witnesses at a local Easter vigil ceremony disputed Fudd's claims that no alcohol was involved in the incident. The vice president was reportedly witnessed going through the communion line at least three and possibly four times late the previous evening, and another witness stated that she saw Cheney stumble and catch himself as he left the service.

"I think I know just how he feels," said longtime friend and personal lawyer Harry Whittington. "This must just be devastating to have this happen to him again." Whittington is reportedly flying to Casper to represent Cheney should legal complications arise.

The White House was contacted, and spokesperson Scott McClellan stated: "The president is saddened by this news, and out of respect will be canceling the traditional Easter egg roll on the White House lawn which was to be held in support of gay parents this year. Regrettably the president was not going to be able to attend anyway. As there appears to be an ongoing investigation into the incident it would not be appropriate to comment further. The president wants to assure America that Easter will go on, and he urges parents to say whatever they have to, to help their children through this."


more at:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/4/16/102932/808

[babylonsister]

1. My Easter laugh! nt

[madeline_con]

2. Great stuff!

"... tears of anguish and frustration and empty Easter baskets ..."

:rofl:

[MADem]

3. Some clever photoshopping smartass needs to do a Harry-style

closeup of a bunny's peppered face!

Are we sure he didn't off the bunny at the White House, to bring misery to the gay families attending the Easter Egg Roll? That sounds about right up his alley...

[sam sarrha]

4. the Easter Bunny was wired by the neck to a stake in the ground

[blue neen]

5. This is spot on!

"As there appears to be an ongoing investigation into the incident it would not be appropriate to comment further." Scotty McClellan

[Dunvegan]

6. Love the Lebowski reference in the reporter's name!

The Bunny Abides, too.

Only, the Easter Bunny was actually shot on Friday. It was only reported today after the Veep's mobile medical team failed to revive the rabbit after days of covert treatment for his gunshot wounds at the Cheney household bunker.

The Veep was hold up with his counselor, Jack "Rabbit" Daniels, and unavailable for comment.

However sources who wish to remain anonymous have reported they overheard Cheney say when the death was reported, "Did that bastid bunny apologize to me before he croaked for lookin' so much like a freakin' quail?"

[mntleo2]

7. Did He Die From Shots In The Face And Chest??? n/t

[Klukie]

8. Hilarious!!!

[GreenPoet64]

9. Did the Easter Bunny's family apologize? n/t

[meow2u3]

10. Be vewy quiet. We're hunting Elmers!

It's Cheney season. hahahaha :evilgrin:

[FogerRox]

11. I knew it. Cheney hates Easter

[Jack Rabbit]

12. MURDERER!!

He's gone murdering rabbits.

You can imagine the problem I have with that.